Hi Amy,

I’m a big fan of your blog and the Smackdown! Thanks for all your advice!

I have a question for you. I am pregnant (with twins)! We have had an outpouring of support from our friends. Three different people have offered to throw showers for me. I (graciously, I hope) accepted offers in from the first two. When the third person asked, she said, “Has anyone offered to throw you a shower?” I replied, “Yes, and I’d love it if you are able to attend. I’ve requested that (the host) invite you!” Her response was disappointment that she hadn’t offered to host sooner. Then, she asked if she could host a not-official-shower gathering for a group of friends that I probably would not have invited to one of the official showers. (Basically, the group is my husband’s college friends, who we love to see, but usually only manage to see once or twice a year.) I accepted her offer, and she threw a very nice not-official-shower. Also, that whole group of friends went in together and got us a very nice gift.

So, now the question is – should I still invite the not-official-shower host to one of the official showers? On one hand, I told her that she was going to be invited. On the other hand, she has already done so much, I don’t want her to feel obligated to attend and/or buy another gift. I am not sure how to proceed and would appreciate your feedback!

Signed,
Trying to Follow Proper Etiquette!
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