Hi Amy,

I’ve enjoyed reading your column and pregnancy calendar since before my son was born, and I’m hoping you have some sage advice in how to wean my very-nearly-3 year old of his pacifier. You’d think it would be relatively simple, but I’m seriously dreading it.

He’s used them since he was a week old. As a baby he was a terrible sleeper that wouldn’t sleep through the night until almost a year. In that time, the sleep deprivation turned me into such a monster, I could barely recognize myself. So even now that he’s 3, I’m wary of changing anything that might interrupt his (and my) sleep. He needs the pacifier to fall asleep at nap time, bedtime, or if we’re in the car for a long time. Without it, he won’t fall asleep at all, or he’ll cry. With it, he falls asleep almost immediately, but might wake up once a night if it’s fallen out of his mouth and he can’t find it. (This happened at 5 AM today, and when I couldn’t find it for him, he pretty much stayed awake talking to himself and keeping us up in the process.)

Other excuses I have for letting the pacifier usage continue: we just moved 1,000 miles away from the only home he knew and all his friends, immediately after which we immediately went on a 2 week trip, and then he started preschool. It didn’t seem fair to take away one of his major sources for comfort during all that upheaval.

But now he’s going to be 3 in a month, and it’s time. At the moment, I’ve pledged not to buy any more pacifiers (we’re down to 1 functional one anyway), and I’m hoping to finally get to taking it away by his birthday. I predict there are going to be lots and lots of tears and lost sleep for us all. I don’t want him to become distraught (seriously, you should see the face he makes when we mention a future without them. It’s the saddest thing ever) and I don’t want to become an overtired monster again (I’m currently pregnant with #2 so I’m already feeling a bit exhausted and grouchy anyway). Do you have any recommendations on making the process any easier for both of us?

Many many thanks,
Pacifier? I hardly know ‘er.
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