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Melissa’s Anti-Gift Guide 2007 Edition (Worst Kid’s Toys)

By Melissa Summers

Remember last year when I shared the purchasing mistakes I’d made in the past in an effort to spare you the same fate?
55 of you had a toy to share so in the name of group think, I thought we’d have another round of The Anti-Gift Guide this year. Let’s all avoid the annoying toys, together.
bratzwebcam.jpgI came across this via my friend Maggie Mason’s flickr photo of it, her title sums up why the Bratz Webcam has made it onto my list. ‘Pedophiles Rejoice!’ indeed. Just think your 6-9 year old can be up on Myspace talking to predators in no time.
squawkers.jpgIn last year’s guide I talked quite a bit about GoGo My Blind Sort Of Realistic If You Squint Walking Pup. Go Go was a disappointment because he was a robotic dog who didn’t do much but roll around in circles whining and barking every once in a while. This year Fur Real Friend is shoving Squawkers McCaw down our kid’s throats via advertising which makes him look like incredible amounts of fun. I predict you’ll be lucky if Squawkers McCaw is ‘fun’ for your kids even two hours after opening him. On the bright side, at least he’s not Butterscotch the enormous horse who pretends to eat plastic vegetables. Wow how very fun!
rosepetalcottage.jpgNext up, Hasbro’s Rose Petal Cottage, where your little girl can be surrounded by all the important things “Mommies” need: a stove, a washer and dryer, and a changing table. Alice expressed her outrage at this stupid toy far better than I could at Wonderland. “While her “muffins” are “baking” and she’s staring out the window pondering the soul-sucking monotony that is her daily existence, she can soothe her invisible fake-baby, just as she’s always dreamed! “I can wash the baby’s clothes!”
toothtunes.jpgWhen I bought a Tooth Tunes toothbrush for my son it was because he’d had strep throat and needed a new toothbrush after the first 24 hours of his antibiotics were taken. I’ve never seen a child so anxious to brush his teeth in my entire life, as we waited for the 24 hour mark to pass he asked me at least 30 times if he could brush his teeth now. With a Tooth Tunes toothbrush you brush while the music (which can only be heard when pressed against your teeth) makes the task more enjoyable. The music also serves as a timer letting you know when that two minute mark has passed and your child can stop brushing. Perhaps my son is not coordinated enough but we’ve found the music distracts him and causes him to sit with the toothbrush in his mouth without really brushing, which the American Academy Of Dentists generally frowns on. He has also found the varying amounts of pressure he uses when brushing causes the music to be louder and then softer making the song difficult to listen to. Generally not worth the money, you’d be better off to set up a clock radio to play for two minutes while your kid’s brush their teeth.
What have been your worst toy buys in the last year?

Related Content:

2006 Melissa’s Anti-Gift Guide
Best Children’s Board Games
Kids’ Digital Cameras Reviews
Best Children’s Holiday Craft Ideas
Handmade Holiday Gifts To Make With Kids
Best Children’s Crafts Websites and Resources
Best Personalized and DIY Gifts
Dear Santa Letter Week: children’s stationery & resources
The Best Handmade Holiday Cards For Kids
The Holiday Open House: Five Easy Steps for Hosting
The Best DIY Advent Calendars
Complete Resource for the Best Advent Calendars

Melissa Summers
About the Author

Melissa Summers

Melissa Summers was a regular contributor writing Melissa’s Buzz Off.


Melissa Summers was a regular contributor writing Melissa’s Buzz Off.

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  • I am so scared of Butterscotch! Every trip to Target this holiday season has made me nervous. I always see people standing around it muttering “How creepy!” I feel pain for anyone who buys or gets this as a gift.

  • I think parents are ambivalent about Hungry Hungry Hippos. They like/love the game but hate that the pieces are too small and that the game is too LOUD.
    Moms are divided over the Cootie Game:

  • Kristin

    Oh, Lord. That stupid Butterscotch scared the crap out of me at W*l-m*rt the other day. I was on a quest to find another box of my favorite Christmas lights. I’m rushing through the store and they have the dumb thing just sitting there in the middle of the aisle. I walked by and it kind of snorted, and I swear I jumped about 3 feet in the air. So not funny. Another reason to hate W*l-m*rt! (I’m scared to type the real name, they may come after me!)

  • Someone got me a SeaMonkeys kit for my kids 5 year old birthday. I say “me” because the instructions for keeping these magical creatures alive requires a graduate degree. I tried to get my son involved and behind my back he threw in the whole packet and washed his hands of the whole thing. Not really, because have you ever seen a 5 year old wash his hands? Stay away unless you really have an axe to grind with a person. Which reminds me to find out what the hell that mother had against me.

  • My dad loves to take my kids out and buy them crap. Fortunately, my son almost always gets Matchbox cars or planes, but my daughter is another story… Recent disastrous buys include a children’s pottery wheel, Blendy Pens, a $20 digital camera that never worked, Floam, a hair beading device, a chocolate fondue fountain and a Polly Pocket bead factory that didn’t work AT ALL like it was supposed to. Oh, Dad love to buy Logan the occasional cheap RC vehicle that takes 25 batteries and lasts 25 minutes.

  • paula in ohio

    I’ll let you know how the Squawk Talking Parrot is as my MIL is giving it to our 6-y-o. Daughter has been BEGGING for it since her birthday back in October. I’ve avoided it to the best of my ability, but now I’m doomed. I think my husband is planning on teaching it some “colorful” words to squawk. 😉

  • I hate Butterscotch. My youngest is currently asking for it. Like I’m going to spend $250 on one gift. I’m not even spending $250 total on anyone.

  • jennifer

    Oh dear god. Bratz webcam. I love the reviews — “NEEDS RINESTONES.” “Makes me less busy.” Oh dear god.

  • My daughters expressed interest in Squawkers McCaw, and I told them I would repeat everything they said for free, anytime they asked.

  • Right up there with Squawkers is “Lucky the Wonder Pup”, who can obey about 20 different commands. Two hours of “Lucky, sit up!” “Lucky, lay down!” “Lucky, speak!” and I’m LUCKY if I don’t go put my head in the oven.

  • Carman

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one annoyed by the Rose Petal Cottage.