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Worst Kids’ Toys of 2007

By Melissa Summers

Remember last year when I shared the purchasing mistakes I’d made in the past in an effort to spare you the same holiday shopping fate? 55 of you had your own horrible toy story to share, so in the name of group think, I thought we’d have another round of Anti-Gift Guide this year. Let’s all avoid the annoying toys, together.

Four Toys to Put on Your Do Not Buy List

Bratz BeBratz.com Webcam: My friend Maggie Mason posted a photo of this mini webcam on flickr with the caption “Pedophiles Rejoice!’  Just think, your preteen (or elementary school aged) daughter can be up on Myspace talking to predators in no time! Ho ho ho! (Or no no no, really.)

Squawkers McCaw: In last year’s guide I talked quite a bit about GoGo My Blind Sort Of Realistic If You Squint Walking Pup. Go Go — a robotic dog who didn’t do much but roll around in circles whining and barking every once in a while — was a pretty big disappointment. This year, Fur Real Friend is shoving Squawkers McCaw, an animatronic parrot, down our kids’ throats via advertising which makes him look like incredible amounts of fun. I predict you’ll be lucky if Squawkers McCaw is “fun” for your kids even two hours after opening him. On the bright side, at least he’s not Butterscotch the enormous horse who pretends to eat plastic vegetables. Wow how very fun!

Hasbro’s Rose Petal Cottage: This little playhouse surrounds your daughter with all the important things “Mommies” need: a stove, a washer and dryer, and a changing table (all sold separately, of course). Because nothing says Merry Christmas! like reinforcing gender stereotypes.

Tooth Tunes toothbrush: I bought one of these for my son because he’d had strep throat and I thought it would be a fun change after two days of miserable sickness. I’ve never seen a child so anxious to brush his teeth in my entire life! The Tooth Tunes toothbrush plays music while you brush — but only if the brush is actually touching your teeth. The music plays for two minutes, which lets kids know when they are done brushing. Perfect, right? Not really. The music distracted my son and instead of brushing, he just sat with the toothbrush in his mouth for two minutes, which the American Academy Of Dentists generally frowns on. He has also found the varying amounts of pressure he uses when brushing causes the music to be louder and then softer, which makes it hard to hear the music and also, again, very distracting in terms of getting his teeth brushed. Skip this and just set a timer for two minutes while your kids brush their teeth.

What have been your worst toy buys in the last year?

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Melissa Summers
About the Author

Melissa Summers

Melissa Summers was a regular contributor writing Melissa’s Buzz Off.

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Melissa Summers was a regular contributor writing Melissa’s Buzz Off.

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Comments

  • I am so scared of Butterscotch! Every trip to Target this holiday season has made me nervous. I always see people standing around it muttering “How creepy!” I feel pain for anyone who buys or gets this as a gift.

  • I think parents are ambivalent about Hungry Hungry Hippos. They like/love the game but hate that the pieces are too small and that the game is too LOUD.
    http://productratings.alphamom.com/index.php/index/show?id=6699532
    Moms are divided over the Cootie Game:
    http://productratings.alphamom.com/index.php/index/index?cat=Toys

  • Kristin

    Oh, Lord. That stupid Butterscotch scared the crap out of me at W*l-m*rt the other day. I was on a quest to find another box of my favorite Christmas lights. I’m rushing through the store and they have the dumb thing just sitting there in the middle of the aisle. I walked by and it kind of snorted, and I swear I jumped about 3 feet in the air. So not funny. Another reason to hate W*l-m*rt! (I’m scared to type the real name, they may come after me!)

  • Someone got me a SeaMonkeys kit for my kids 5 year old birthday. I say “me” because the instructions for keeping these magical creatures alive requires a graduate degree. I tried to get my son involved and behind my back he threw in the whole packet and washed his hands of the whole thing. Not really, because have you ever seen a 5 year old wash his hands? Stay away unless you really have an axe to grind with a person. Which reminds me to find out what the hell that mother had against me.

  • My dad loves to take my kids out and buy them crap. Fortunately, my son almost always gets Matchbox cars or planes, but my daughter is another story… Recent disastrous buys include a children’s pottery wheel, Blendy Pens, a $20 digital camera that never worked, Floam, a hair beading device, a chocolate fondue fountain and a Polly Pocket bead factory that didn’t work AT ALL like it was supposed to. Oh, Dad love to buy Logan the occasional cheap RC vehicle that takes 25 batteries and lasts 25 minutes.

  • paula in ohio

    I’ll let you know how the Squawk Talking Parrot is as my MIL is giving it to our 6-y-o. Daughter has been BEGGING for it since her birthday back in October. I’ve avoided it to the best of my ability, but now I’m doomed. I think my husband is planning on teaching it some “colorful” words to squawk. 😉

  • I hate Butterscotch. My youngest is currently asking for it. Like I’m going to spend $250 on one gift. I’m not even spending $250 total on anyone.

  • jennifer

    Oh dear god. Bratz webcam. I love the reviews — “NEEDS RINESTONES.” “Makes me less busy.” Oh dear god.

  • My daughters expressed interest in Squawkers McCaw, and I told them I would repeat everything they said for free, anytime they asked.

  • Right up there with Squawkers is “Lucky the Wonder Pup”, who can obey about 20 different commands. Two hours of “Lucky, sit up!” “Lucky, lay down!” “Lucky, speak!” and I’m LUCKY if I don’t go put my head in the oven.

  • Carman

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one annoyed by the Rose Petal Cottage.