Worst Kids Toys of 2006
I’m not someone who believes television is evil, because how can television be evil when Spongebob Squarepants is on it? No, I don’t think television is evil — but I do think advertising is.
I know how to say no to my kids, so when they ask for every single thing they see on television it doesn’t faze me. The problem starts when a gift giving occasion comes up and I am forced to discern what things on their wish list are worthwhile entertainment and what things (that looked like tons of fun on the commercial) will be played with for 2.4 minutes before they are abandoned.
What I’m saying is that I spend a lot of time trying to figure out which gifts are worth it and which are just lessons in the manipulative power of advertising. I swear that’s about thirty percent of parenting, right there.
Because I am helpful, I’ve compiled a quick guide to some toys you should stay away from — i.e. the ones my kids lost interest in after approximately two minutes. Let’s consider this my Anti-Gift Guide. Happy holidays!
Don’t Buy These Toys
Dr. Dreadful’s Freaky Food Lab looks like big freaky fun in the commercial. In their own mad scientist-style labratory, your child creates edible concoctions shaped like spiders and snakes. Problem? It’s messy, the molds don’t release and the concoctions taste like what I suspect it would taste like if I wanted to chew on the sole of my running shoes. I don’t and neither do my kids. This toy got about 45 minutes of use, since it takes that long to cook up a batch of rubbery garbage to eat. Another thing to hate? All the recipe packets contain traces of nuts, so don’t buy it for your allergic child. Unless you think a trip to the ER would up the freaky fun factor.