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Do I Really Need To Wash My Hair Every Day?

Published 01.05.2009 | Permanent Link | Comments (14)

Amalah,

I am a fairly new mom (daughter is 8 months old) and I have realized that I am routinely washing my hair about 2 to 3 times a week. Is this bad? My hair seems fairly dry and doesn't get all greasy and gross. Is it better for my hair to wash it more, or can I just continue my slacker ways? It sure makes the week more manageable not to wash it every day.

Thanks,
Chiquita

Dude, color me nothing but pea-green jealous over here. That is a perfectly acceptable hair care routine. It is NOT better for your hair to be shampooed any more often than is completely necessary -- and for women with very dry hair or very curly hair (or a combination of both), that can mean every other day or even just once or twice a week. Or hell, even less, if your hair isn't getting oily or smelly or you don't use hair products regularly. (Hair products usually contain alcohol or other harsh stuff that should be washed out on a fairly regular basis. But shampoo can often contain crap ingredients as well, which is why overwashing can actually throw your hair out of whack too.)

P209113_hero.jpgI have very fine hair and a very oily scalp. I've TRIED washing my hair less, because everyone will tell you that shampooing your hair too often will cause your scalp to overcompensate with MORE oil. I found this to be true when I used actual "oil control" shampoos -- I'd wash in the morning and be a greasy stringy mess by lunchtime. But even when using the gentlest, highest-quality shampoo, I still need to wash my hair every day. My scalp just gets busy at night with the oil, or maybe I just sweat a lot or something. (Ha! And you were worried that YOU were the gross one here.)

But something miraculous happened when I was pregnant. For a few months, my hair and scalp trended towards "dry" and I did not have to wash my hair every day. I went every other day, sometimes every two days. I used dry shampoos (by Ojon or Oscar Blandi) in between to freshen things up and delay a washing even longer. It was fantastic. My mornings were a breeze and I honestly thought my hair looked better and better the longer I waited in between shampooings.

As a mom, especially, with SO MANY OTHER THINGS to worry about and juggle in the morning, I would like to shout from the rooftops to anyone out there who is needlessly shampooing every day: STOP. SAVE YOURSELF. IT IS NOT GROSS. I mean, I did SHOWER every day, and wash my BODY, but hair is not skin. It's not even technically alive. And it takes waaaay longer than a day or two to actually develop an odor under normal circumstances. ("Normal" meaning you don't smoke or live with a smoker, or comb it with a pork chop, or something.) And if your hair is dry and easily damaged, shampooing more often is totally counterintuitive. (There's a reason my guiding hair principle and advice has always been to only shampoo your roots and condition your ends.)

Sadly, my hair went back to its old high-maintenance tricks after a couple months of glorious neglect and once again I have to wash it every day if I hope to avoid the oil slick. It laughs in the face of the dry shampoos and is generally just kind of sucking right now, much like it did for the first few postpartum months after my first pregnancy. My hormones manifest themselves in my hair, who knew?

How to Prevent Overhanging Toes in Open-Toed Shoes

Published 01.02.2009 | Permanent Link | Comments (8)

Hi Amy,

This may just be the dumbest question ever but I'm also hoping it therefore has a simple solution! When I wear open-toed shoes my feet tend to sort of... slide forward in the shoe? So that my toes hang off the edge a little bit? I don't know if it's because my toes are kinda long or maybe I need to wear a smaller size, but I never see other girls with toes hanging off the tips of their shoes and I, too, want to be classy like that. I buy my normal shoe-size and things go well for the first few steps and then.. pfft. It's over. Any advice?

Jess

You want a simple solution? As in, a singular solution instead of me just tossing out half a dozen ideas in the hopes that one of them is sort of vaguely the right one? MAN, are you hanging around the wrong advice column.

Oh, I kid. (And also, there are no dumb questions about shoes. None! Never!)

Seriously, though, there could be many reasons your feet are sliding and many solutions to stop the problem. The first one, of course, is that you are in fact buying the wrong size shoe. This is USUALLY the cause for unsightly toe problems. It kind of amazes me that as grown-ups, we often assume that our feet never change in size and never think to double-check and get re-measured. Instead we keep buying that same shoe size we've been buying since the 10th grade. But our feet can change, particularly after pregnancy, or if your job requires lots and lots of years of standing. Hell, I swear my feet go up a half size every summer and then back to a smaller size each winter.

overtoe

So it might not hurt to grab one of those metal foot-measurer thingies and make sure you really are buying the right size. It could be that you are buying a half-size too big, after just being used to having a little extra room in casual shoes like sneakers or loafers -- you know, the kind of shoe your foot can slide around in a tad without getting crazy blisters. (I know women who have hated hated HATED heels because of the rubbing and blisters...and it turned out they were buying them too big because at some point they simply assumed their feet were bigger than they were, once they passed the age where the nice shoe person at Stride Rite was poking their toes and checking their heels.) Is your foot on the narrow side, perhaps, so even though you're wearing the right LENGTH of shoe, your foot is sliding around because you're in the wrong WIDTH?

And then there's also variations in shoe types and brands -- I usually try on every size between a 7 and an 8 in a lot of shoes, and I own shoes in all three size options. Heels are different than flats, European shoes are different than U.S. brands, expensive shoes are different than the cheap ones. If your toes slide forward after a few steps, kick them off and see if a half-size smaller has the same problem.

If it does, or if the smaller size is unbearably tight, then YES. It's entirely possible that the toe overhang is simply a quirk in your particular foot. Solutions? Opt for peep-toe (a small opening that just exposes the center two or three toes) over open-toe (the entire toe line is exposed). And try adding grips to the inside of your shoes -- you can get open-toe-friendly adhesive grips for just the balls of your feet or for your full insole. I used the full version for a pair of heels that just had a weirdly slippery insole that caused my foot to slide forward and smush the hell out of my toes, and thought they worked quite admirably.

High-Risk Pregnancies & Medical Terminations

Published 12.29.2008 | Permanent Link | Comments (3)

Update on "When the Worst Happens: High-Risk Pregnancies & Medical
Terminations

Dear Amy,

Where do I begin? I wrote back in September about a medical termination my doctors thought I should have. I wrote you at the most painful part of my life, funny the people that will be there for you when you’re down (perfect strangers). I decided to try to keep the baby despite all the medical complications, my body disagreed and I miscarried the first week of November. You’ve written about this before, but it’s such a horrible feeling to think your body isn’t meant to bear children. I know as women we’re more than just baby making machines, but…still…there are times it feels so…utterly unfair.

Mostly Amy, I want to say thank you to you and your readers who commented on that post. I reached out from a very dark scary place and found nothing but comfort and from people I don’t even know. Perhaps my family and friends were just too close to me to help, too many of their own emotions tied up in mine. Regardless, thank you, you all didn’t give me answers that day, but you all gave me empathy, and there are no words I can find to express what that meant and still means to me.

With all my heart,
RB

You're right. It is so terribly unfair, and I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. I can talk some good talk in defense of choice and our right to it, but there were also many times when I would get good and lathered at the idea of someone cavalierly terminating the very thing I wanted most in the world. I hope your story ultimately has a happy ending for you, in whatever path you end up taking, however you choose to build your family.

I'm proud of you, by the way. You were brave to reach out to strangers, brave to share your story -- it's a story that a lot of people need to hear, people who tend to paint women considering a termination with a broad, heartless brush -- and brave to make the decision you made. I'm sure you're tired of hearing how SORRY everybody is for you, but...damn. I'm sorry it just wasn't meant to be this time, and that the decision ended up being taken out of your hands anyway. If you want to wallow in the unfairness for a bit, you go ahead. I will bring the ice cream and a really big spoon.

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About

Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. A Washington D.C.-based freelance writer. The Smackdown is published on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. You can follow Amy's daily mothering adventures at www.amalah.com. Also, it's pronounced AIM-ah-lah.

Amy is also documenting her second pregnancy in a Weekly Pregnancy Calendar, Zero to Forty.

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