Worst Store-Bought Halloween Costume Ideas
I’m a sucker for a cute homemade Halloween costume, but my kids are all about the ones from the Halloween super store. I’ve (mostly) made my peace with this — in fact, there are some really creative pre-made kids Halloween costumes out there. But while I was looking for store-bought costumes I wouldn’t mind paying for, I thought it would be fun to share the costumes I came across which perplexed my delicate sensibilities.
In other words, the costumes my kids will wear over my dead body.
Halloween Costumes to Skip This Year
Sexy devil: Why would a child wearing a size 4/6 need to show this much skin? And how would she know what “sexy” means? Can’t she just be a regular old adorable preschooler devil? The kind that is mischievous but not sexy? There should be no sexy anything costumes for the elementary school set. I would honestly choose a Licensed Character costume over this thing. Point me to the Elsa outfits. Seriously. (But not Sexy Elsa. Come on.)
Sexy Strawberry Shortcake: This post is making me feel like an incredible prude but really? This is for a teenager? How about we just agree to take a hard pass on “sexy” costumes for anyone under age 21. Period. I’m trying to imagine the day I let my daughter out of the house looking like this and I don’t see it being anytime she’s living under my roof. (I think I just grew a gray hair.)
Zombie Punk Skater Boy: I know kids want to be scary things for Halloween but this [Fill In The Blank] Zombie! phenomenon is just blowing my mind. Look! It’s Zombie Skate Punk! Because if there’s anything worse than a zombie it’s a punk zombie. And if there’s anything worse than a punk zombie it’s a punk zombie on a skateboard. (And now I’m imagining Punk Skater Zombie showing up at my front door with Sexy Strawberry Shortcake and I think I just grew five more grey hairs.)
Giant rat: I know Ratatouille the movie was supposed to make me look at rats in a kinder, gentle,r more sanitary way, but this is a big NO for me. I think it’s that long tail, or the way they travel in large numbers of undulating fur, or maybe it’s those beady eyes. Bottom line, I don’t want to dress my kids as vermin for Halloween. If you do, have at it.
Life-sized beef stick: I am not a fan of licensed characters on backpacks, bedroom walls or costumes. But this one is really the absolute worst: Your kid is simultaneously an annoying Licensed Character and a fat-laden beef stick. Maybe he can hang out with the giant rat — sort of a walking vermin snack.
Ok that’s actually terrifying.