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Amalah
About the Author

Amy Corbett Storch

Amalah

Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy’s daily mothering adventures at Ama...

Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy’s daily mothering adventures at Amalah. Also, it’s pronounced AIM-ah-lah.

If there is a question you would like answered on the Advice Smackdown, please submit it to amyadvice@gmail.com.

Amy also documented her second pregnancy (with Ezra) in our wildly popular Weekly Pregnancy Calendar, Zero to Forty.

Amy is mother to rising first-grader Noah, preschooler Ezra, and toddler Ike.

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Comments

  • Barbamama

    I would like to say thank you to the mom that wrote in and to the thoughtful and insightful answer, and great comments. I saw this post a week ago today after a terrible bedtime where my daughter kept the battle going until 10 pm. It ended with me being the one to throw the temper tantrum. Afterwards, crying and ashamed, I searched the internet for answers and found this post. I recognized my situation perfectly with the letter writer. I am going through the same exact thing with my daughter, except her brother is in a separate room. I decided to make some changes. The following day, I went to Ikea and bought a flower light fixture that she could turn on and off from her bed, and a little silicon kitty night light that she could take with her in bed. I also bought a safety gate for her bedroom door. I pushed her bedtime by half an hour and explained that from now on, I would sing two songs in the rocking chair, put her to bed leave and that’s it. No getting up or anything else. The gate would be in the door, so she can’t leave her room but she can get up and I am not entering into the battle of keeping her in bed. I disengaged. First night, she cried and begged for and hour. Next day, 45 minutes, then 30 minutes than 20, etc. 7 days later, zero crying or getting up, 2 days in a row! I am not fully believing the problem is solved, but these results are very promising, after more than a year of bedtime power struggles. Thank you everyone who shared ideas and solutions in such an open and empathetic way. It helped !

  • Celeste Vilonna

    OMG, this is us. I have a daughter who is going to be three in January. She is very strong willed. Also, I don’t think that she needs as much sleep as most 3 year olds (our DR. agrees – she said all 3 of her children sleep 12 hours a night…what?!?). This nighttime “battle” has been going on for almost a year – ever since we had to take her out of the crib. She was practically throwing her self out of the crib just before her 2nd birthday when I would leave the room at bedtime (we did the cry it out method for the first two years). After a few minutes, she would lay down and fall asleep (oh how i would KILL for those days). But this is us, this post… the taking back to bed a million times to have her only jump right back out and run after me like a wild child and the kicking, screaming, and falling on the ground. Same thing here, typically the only thing that will settle her is if she hurts herself in her rage and is looking for soothing. My daughter also loves books and will sit in her bed for a bit to read but it doesn’t last long before a battle ensues about staying in bed. We have essentially given up – how could we not, 2 hour battle every night for a year, we are done. We have started to just keep her up until we are ready to go to bed which is around 9:30 or 10:30 – we do dinner between 6:30-7, bath/PJs and then play for a good amount of time before heading to bed (we already have a mini-trampoline that she jumps on each night…but doesn’t slow her down any). And we have been letting her sleep with us. She goes to sleep fairly quickly after singing every song she knows. However, sometimes a battle over something while we are lying down will begin and then the kicking starts because she is mad and then we have to take her to her room and we are back at square one with getting her to sleep on her own. (I think she may still have a bit of separation anxiety) Which is how I happened upon this post last night. I don’t want her in our bed. She needs to sleep in her room, in her bed, on her own. We are going to try this tonight and see if it works. I also read about a “bedtime pass”, not sure if she is too young, but I may try it out after a few weeks if this doesn’t work. I am still going to keep her up “late” and hopefully we have a positive result over the next few weeks. Thank you for posting this. You are NOT alone. I am not sure when this was posted, however, I am NOT surprised that no one else has commented. When I hear people say that they have bed time issues or when I read different articles about advice on getting your child to bed, they have NO IDEA. I hope that the advice provided worked for you and will work for us too! Sorry that I don’t have any suggestions to help you – we are in the same boat