How to Spice Up Your Post-Kid Marriage (or Relationship)



By Lindsay Ferrier of Suburban Turmoil
1. Share your secret fantasies.
I don’t think there’s a man alive who doesn’t love dirty talk from his partner. Just be sure the fantasies you whisper in his ear don’t include other people- I’m thinking your husband won’t like that one where you’re the meat in a Brad Pitt- Patrick Dempsey manwich.

2. Schedule weekly date nights.

Put a babysitter on retainer and paint the town red. If you can’t do date nights out, agree to put the kids to bed by 8:30 once a week and share a bottle of wine and a movie.

3. Make sure you feel great.

Exercise regularly. Cut out the junk food. Dress (at least sometimes) as if you and your partner are still dating. I don’t care how many pounds of baby weight you still have to lose- Trimming off just five pounds or toning up those muscles a bit will make you feel sexier, and that makes for good times in the sack.

4. Remember that toys aren’t just for the kids.

Sex toys can give a new and exciting twist to an act that the two of you have engaged in thousands of times by now. Just be sure to hide them where the kids can’t find them, lest they end up being ogled by a group of inquisitive ten-year-old girls (yes, this actually happened at a sleepover my stepdaughter once attended).
5. Take an annual getaway trip.
This one is difficult for many of us, but it’s something you can strive for. If you can find a person you trust to take care of the kids for a few days, treat yourselves and take a fabulous no-kids vacation once a year. Trust me when I say it will be totally worth your while.


About the author

Guest Contributor

We often publish pieces by guest contributors. If you're interested in being one, please drop us a line at contact[at]alphamom[dot]com.

Subscribe to posts by Guest Contributor

2 Responses to “How to Spice Up Your Post-Kid Marriage (or Relationship)”

  1. Angella Sep 22 at 4:52 pm Reply Reply

    Great post Lindsay! We are advocates of the date nights, and I *always* put on makeup and try to look good for Matthew.
    We also took a week-long trip to Mexico without the kids this spring and it was PERFECT.

  2. Fairly Odd Mother Sep 26 at 9:44 am Reply Reply

    Love these ideas. We do some of these (I’m not saying which ones). . .also, another idea is we have His/Her stockings at the holidays that we hide from the kids and give to each other on Christmas Eve night (bow, chicka, wow, wow). It’s a great way to remember each other during a season that skews overwhelmingly in favor of the kids.

Like us on Facebook