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Take Back…or Don’t: Extending Those Pregnancy Benefits

By Amalah

Hey, I have a crazy idea. Let’s NOT talk about vaginal tears or depression or inner-tube midsections today!

Let’s talk about something light and fluffy and possibly a little childish and scammy that I’m SURE the rest of you are too mature and responsible to pull.

You know how certain household tasks generally fall to other people during pregnancy? Either for health/safety reasons or simply because the smell of fabric softener made you barf? I have a confession. Eight months later, I have not ONCE done any of the following chores for no other reason except that I was pregnant last year and it hasn’t yet occurred to my husband that I am still coasting on his simple force of habit.

Five Chores Non-Pregnant Me Does Not Want Back

1. The litter box. I’m not even sure where we keep the pan liners anymore.

2. Opening and disposing of the contents of various Plastic Food Containers of Fuzzy Mystery from the back of the fridge.

3. Anything that requires a ladder or standing on chairs.

4. Mowing the lawn.

5. Painting in non-well-ventilated areas. Or in well-ventilated areas, if we’re being completely honest.

On the flip side, a pregnant friend told me that she couldn’t WAIT to take over litter box duty again because she was so tired of having to nag her husband about it every week. But she was terribly upset at the prospect of no longer getting that pint of ice cream he’d obediently picked up for her every Friday after work for nine months. Sort of like how I was excited to be able to rearrange the living room furniture all by myself, but annoyed that I wasn’t able to dictate our dinner menu every night of the week to cater to my cravings and whims.

What pregnancy benefits are you still clinging to? Are you still enforcing an embargo on Microwaved Popcorn Smell? Do you still expect your partner to do all the heavy lifting? Still justifying the daily chocolate pudding cup habit?

If you landed here but are still pregnant, visit Amalah’s Pregnancy Calendar. You won’t regret it.

Published June 15, 2009. Last updated January 14, 2018.
Amalah
About the Author

Amy Corbett Storch

Amalah

Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy’s daily mothering adventures at Ama...

Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy’s daily mothering adventures at Amalah. Also, it’s pronounced AIM-ah-lah.

If there is a question you would like answered on the Advice Smackdown, please submit it to [email protected].

Amy also documented her second pregnancy (with Ezra) in our wildly popular Weekly Pregnancy Calendar, Zero to Forty.

Amy is mother to rising first-grader Noah, preschooler Ezra, and toddler Ike.

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