Prev Next
Second Baby Shower Blues

Second Baby Shower Blues

By Amalah

Hi Amy,

So I know you have posted before on second baby showers, and I remember the vibe being: It’s okay these days. But I kinda want to ask again, because you know, my situation might be different and stuff. I’m expecting my second child in December this year. It’s a girl, my firstborn is a boy and has just turned two. So while there sex differences, the time period isn’t that big. So we should have all the stuff we need right? Or maybe not if you are in the thick of the nesting instinct and also a second child who doesn’t want her second child to only have hand me downs from an older sibling. If that makes any sense.

So now that I have done my inventory I have realized that there is a whole lot of stuff that I don’t have or want to buy over for the second kid, and surely she deserves the fanfair and spoiling that is a baby shower too? Sure I have a pram, cot, car seat (that I want to upgrade). But I have very little in the way of unisex clothing. And of course a new baby means a whole new theme for the nursery which means new linen and blankies etc. And must replace bottles with BPA free ones. And then there are just the things that I’d like to do better this time round, like get an ear thermometer, and maybe get an electric swing chair instead of the bouncer we had last time… And by the time I am done I can replace just about everything because a new baby NEEDS new stuff? right? and I must do this better the second time around. Or something.

But the OCD issues aside. Is it inappropriate to have another baby shower? I’m thinking of combining/disguising it with a house warming, because that was another thing that the baby NEEDED. A new house. But then does it look like I am throwing myself a shower? I didn’t feel I could expect my sister to throw me another shower, so when she offered I said no. And if I do combine it with the house warming (Kinda like: welcome to our home and help us welcome our new baby?), is it okay to set up a registry, so I don’t get 25 pink outfits in 0-3 months size and nothing practical?

From a nesting second time mommy

Okay, once more, a summary with feeling: Second baby showers are definitely becoming more “okay” and accepted…in areas other than the South, where second (and third, and fourth) baby showers were ALWAYS okay and accepted. There is definitely a regional factor at play here, probably because (if I may make some sweeping generalizations) Southerners know how to throw showers the right way. They stick to the proper etiquette and the focus is NOT a big giant gift grab, as I see more often in other areas of the country. Showers are just…parties, meant to “shower” the mother-to-be with love and attention and an afternoon of fun. Why shouldn’t every new baby get their own party? That’s just silly to think otherwise! .

Compare that to the mistaken idea — just seen in the comments of a recent column about asking guests to pay shipping costs — that showers are specifically meant to “shower” the mom with gifts. NO. NOT REALLY. Gifts are a plus, a perk and a bonus. They are not to be expected or required or otherwise specifically asked for. I admit that I am very old-school about this — I’m probably one of the last hold-outs who believe that registry info does not belong in the invitation envelopes, but should be asked for by guests who are interested in using the registry OPTION, because THAT’S WHAT IT IS, AN OPTION — but I do think if we could all dial back our thinking about baby and wedding showers, we’d all be less confused about what’s okay and what’s not, and get fewer invitations that make our jaws drop with the transparently open, bossy gift grab vibe to them.

Anyway. Sorry. That manifesto was not really directed at you, Nesting Second-Time Mommy. Just needed to give everybody a frame of my shower-belief reference.

You’re pregnant, you’re nesting, thus I’ll give you a pass on the one-track mind you’ve developed about BABY THINGIES!!!11!! you need and want and seeing a shower as little more than a means to an end to get them. Hell, you’re just being honest, and I personally don’t see anything wrong with having a second shower, PARTICULARLY if you’re dealing with a different sex and do honestly need some different clothing and supply options. (Though please don’t say things like “I don’t want to get 25 pink 0-3 month outfits and nothing practical” out loud. If that happens, you return the outfits that came with a gift receipt and send very nice thank-you notes to the gift-givers anyway. It’s really not the end of the world.)

That said, since second showers aren’t always an automatic given, it helps to proceed a bit extra cautiously on the etiquette side: I do think the housewarming/shower combo DOES come across as throwing yourself a shower. Which is — and I think this is something we can ALL agree on — something you just. Do. Not. Do. Seriously. If you want a second baby shower, re-enlist your sister and have her throw you a second baby shower. There’s really no other way to do it tactfully — you’re not disguising ANYTHING if you throw a party and then try to sneakily include a second baby registry.

I don’t mind the thought of combining a housewarming and a baby shower on its own, however — you just simply cannot be the one who throws it, if you’re adding any indication that gifts are to be involved. If your sister was the one, for example, to send out the invites and worded them like, “Nesting Sister cordially invites you to join in the celebration of Nesting Second-Time Mommy and Daddy’s new home and new baby!“, I think that would be just fine. Basically hand over all the typical shower-hosting duties, but have it in your home. It can be done…you just have to set the right tone.

If you really do want to throw the party on your own, that’s fine, but NO registry, and NO expectations of any specific kind of gift. Or any gifts at all. Your guests’ attendance and company is a gift in and of itself. Yes, you’ll probably get some itty-bitty baby clothes and not the battery-powered swing. C’est la vie. We bought a LOT of baby stuff ourselves the second time around, and we lived.

But. Here’s the thing, even if your sister “hosts” the combo party: Guests are probably going to bring you one gift, either from the household item category or the baby category. Not both. You may very well end up with a bunch of kitchen utensil sets tied to pink stuffed animals and not any of the practical stuff your nesting instinct is telling you that you NEED, because guest might not be super-clear on the concept. Perhaps you could do an Open House party in the afternoon and then have a more traditional shower with your sister and girlfriends afterwards in the evening? Skip the registries and have your sister suggest gift cards to either Home Depot and/or Babies R Us to guests who inquire?

Honestly, it’s probably simpler to go back to your sister and say, “Hey, I was wrong. I think I would like a shower, and would really appreciate your offer to host it again.” This whole “how to get gifts without looking like I’m out to get gifts” subterfuge thing just isn’t worth the hassle.

__________________________________________________________________
If there is a question you would like answered by Amalah on the Advice Smackdown, please submit it to [email protected]

Amalah
About the Author

Amy Corbett Storch

Amalah

Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy’s daily mothering adventures at Ama...

Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy’s daily mothering adventures at Amalah. Also, it’s pronounced AIM-ah-lah.

If there is a question you would like answered on the Advice Smackdown, please submit it to [email protected].

Amy also documented her second pregnancy (with Ezra) in our wildly popular Weekly Pregnancy Calendar, Zero to Forty.

Amy is mother to rising first-grader Noah, preschooler Ezra, and toddler Ike.

icon icon
chat bubble icon

Comments

newest oldest most voted
Notify of
Erin
Guest

To be perfectly honest…baby showers are not for the babies. They never are, because by the time the babies are old enough to notice what they’re wearing or what they’re swinging in, they’ve outgrown the stuff from the shower. If you want a shower, then have one! FOR YOU. FOR FUN. I have no issues with someone wanting celebrate and make room for a new baby with NEW things. Plan to reuse what you can, ask someone or allow someone to throw a shower for you…have a good time. I probably wouldn’t combine it with a housewarming…because as a guest… Read more »

andrea
Guest
andrea

I love the idea of a second shower. Once you have a child you tend to lose contact with friends. A shower is a nice way to reconnect with them again!

Ally
Guest
Ally

I moved to the south a few years ago and was shocked about how baby showers are done here. I am pregnant with my third and there are already two showers being planned. It is such an honor and I love the fact that everything wants to celebrate every baby that comes along. 

Olivia
Guest
Olivia

Not being from the South, I tend to think second baby showers are a no go. But, that’s probably because I think of them as being gift-centered. And, except for the clothes and a second car seat, the rest of the stuff isn’t really necessary if the children are close in age and the parents kept the baby gear. So, if you want to decorate a new nursery, it’s on your dime, not your friends.* *I admit to being a bit of a curmungeon on the subject because my line of thinking for babies is all they really need is… Read more »

Carrie
Guest
Carrie

Maybe it’s because I’m from New England and we’re apparently not all that friendly around here, but a second shower leaves me feeling more than a bit irritated. I had four kids in six years so they obviously weren’t far apart and thus I did not have, nor did I ever dream of or expect to have, a second or third or fourth shower (even when I finally had my first girl who was #4) However, what did happen was that many of my friends and family members were as thrilled as we were with EACH addition to our family… Read more »

txmama
Guest
txmama

Amy, you are definitely not the last hold out on shower etiquette/registry etiquette — I totally agree with you! In fact, I’m so Old School that I think it’s tacky when a close relative (e.g. mother or sister) throws a shower for a mom to be. Of course, most people do not agree with me. I’m constantly horrified by the things I see on invitations, but I guess I’m mostly by myself on that one! I, however, see no problem at all with a second shower (but believe it should be thrown by friends or a more distant relative). I… Read more »

Keri
Guest
Keri

I think it sounds greedy. You want new stuff and don’t want to pay for it. I am also in the boat, after having 3 kids that less is more when it comes to baby gear. Without having a shower for my 2nd who was a different gender from the 1st I got plenty of “Welcome Baby” gifts of clothes that we were pretty set.

Alissa
Guest
Alissa

We tend to throw the girlfriends in our little circle a second baby shower.  But we’re FRIENDS.  And we only invite US.  And the mom-to-be never really knows about it – we do it as a surprise during our monthly gatherings.  And we tend to give nice things for MOM, assuming that she already has all the big things she needs for a kid.  You know, as she already HAS one. I find it ridiculously tacky that you’d have a registry and want to throw yourself a shower for a second baby. Get ye to a consignment shop for some… Read more »

JCF
Guest
JCF

A few friends threw me a shower for my second baby (a girl, 1.5 years after my boy was born), but it was a very casual evening (dessert and punch) gathering to welcome the new baby. I got a lot of clothing, since that was the main thing we needed, since we only had boy clothing from the first time around. It was much smaller than my first shower (just close friends, not friends of my mom, etc.) As for the larger items that we wanted the second time around, we bought most of them–definitely no registry. We bought a… Read more »

ALP
Guest
ALP

My brother-in-law called their second shower a “Baby Sprinkle,” since it wasn’t quite a shower.

Bethany
Guest

On non-first child baby showers…I’m the youngest of three and apparently my mom’s friends threw a baby shower for her for me. I still cherish a stuffed panda bear that her parents sent her for the shower. One of my all-time favorite stuffed animals ever. There are photos of me with the bear from noncrawling age, through Disney World, girl scout camp, move-in day at college, and now she’s in a place of honor in my adult apartment. Sometimes the gifts from a baby shower really do stay with the kid. I have no idea whether she had a registry,… Read more »

J
Guest
J

I’m with Carrie! I too am from New England and that’s just how we do it up here. You had a shower for your first baby where you had absolutely nothing baby related before hand and any children after (espcially close in age) used whatever big ticket items you got the first time around. I understand the regret of “gah, I should’ve gotten a gender neutral highchair/bouncer/whatever because my children aren’t the same sex” but the blue highchair/bouncer/whatever is going to work just as effectivly, and guess what, you’re child won’t know the difference. You’re just going to have to… Read more »

Patricia
Guest
Patricia

I’m with Carrie on this one (and from New England as well), but I would def think it’s rude (and greedy) to have a registry for a second baby. We did a “sprinkle” for my friend’s 2nd baby which was close friends and family with no info on the invite about gifts. I of course wanted to bring her a gift and picked out something for the new baby, the older brother & my friend herself- because I figured they could all use a little treat. But I stayed in the range of $50-$60 versus the $150 I spent on… Read more »

Patricia
Guest
Patricia

(and from New England as well), but I would def think it’s rude (and greedy) to have a registry for a second baby. We did a “sprinkle” for my friend’s 2nd baby which was close friends and family with no info on the invite about gifts. I of course wanted to bring her a gift and picked out something for the new baby, the older brother & my friend herself- because I figured they could all use a little treat. But I stayed in the range of $50-$60 versus the $150 I spent on her first shower (2 years earlier).… Read more »

Jay
Guest
Jay

I think the “I need all new things even though most things I have are still perfectly usable, and I expect my friends to buy these things for me from my registry” attitude is rather tacky. (I’m also with pp who thinks that it’s tacky for a close relative to host a shower.) Having a party to celebrate is nice and I like the idea of combining it with a housewarming. But my eyebrows would definitely go way up if I got a second shower invitation, especially if I had just given you a shower gift two years ago. I… Read more »

Therese
Guest
Therese

Being from the South (well, KY is technically a border state but we do a lot of things, especially in this arena like most truly Southern states) it’s not a huge deal to have some sort of special event for a 2nd, 3rd… whatever baby. However, as Amy pointed out, these events are usually very much about the BABY and the family, NOT centered on gifts. I can only think of 1 time that I was invited to a true (at least by the original poster’s definition) baby shower for a 2nd child. This was a party clearly designed for… Read more »

camille
Guest
camille

I’m with Olivia and many other posters here. Baby needs diapers and a boob, and maybe a carseat. If you want a new nursery and theme, then you should be prepared to pay for that yourself. I have a 19 month old daughter and am 20 weeks pregnant with my second (sex unknown until birth), and we’ll be reusing all the gear we had with her (most of which were hand-medowns anyway). It may be because we lived in such a tiny house when we had our daughter, or maybe I’m just cheap, but I couldn’t justify accumulating a ton… Read more »

baltimoregal
Guest

Here’s when a second shower goes awry- when it’s a work shower, and/or people are asked to contribute to a gift card.  The last one I attended (the whole floor was invited) had BOTH elements and I was sincerely irritated. I barely know this woman. Why am I contributing to a cash supply for her second daughter? Or looking stingy if I don’t? Second/third/tenth showers are fine, in my opinion- if the children are far apart in age, or if the first shower was very limited (sex, etc) and the second one is going to be very different, or if… Read more »

tasterspoon
Guest
tasterspoon

West Coast represent. I attended a housewarming party thrown by an expectant couple called “Babies and Beer.” It was a great BBQ, but it didn’t have a shower vibe at all: the point was to show off a backyard remodel and hang out, an e-vite with no registry info anywhere. Some people brought baby presents, lots didn’t, nothing was opened. It was more like, I could have brought a bottle of wine but opted to go to Babies R Us, see whether they were registered (they were) and spent a similar amount. Not remotely grabby – but as a way… Read more »

tasterspoon
Guest
tasterspoon

And hey – congratulations!!

Aimee
Guest
Aimee

I’m originally from the north, and living in NorCal now, and my thoughts are kind of in-between everyone elses here. A few weekends ago we just had a second baby shower for my friend (her kids will end up being about 22 months apart, and the same sex so not a lot of new stuff will be needed). A small group of us, friends-coworkers-family went out to a very leisurely lunch, and then sent my friend to a spa for a super fancy pedicure (since she can no longer reach her feet). It was very nice, a few people brought… Read more »

EB
Guest
EB

I’ll chime in from Colorado. Judging by what I’ve seen and what I’ve read here, things are even more relaxed here in CO, but I still don’t think anyone would ever throw/have thrown (?) for themselves a second baby shower. I’ve seen in done rarely, and it really sets a negative tone in the ‘friends’ who start to feel like cash machines. I guess I’m really on the band wagon of.. if you can’t afford it, don’t do it, and don’t expect everyone else to pick up the tab. I feel this way about weddings. If you are both in… Read more »

Emily
Guest
Emily

I live in the south, and my experience with second baby showers is similar to others who have commented. It is a smaller, more intimate group of close friends and family. The focus is more on pampering the mother than on gifts. Unless the other kid(s) are significantly older, there is no registry. In fact, guests usually do fun, frivolous things (like little pink outfits) or gift cards. I absolutely would not combine a shower with a housewarming party, nor would I throw my own shower. Maybe this is harsh, but I don’t think it is appropriate to expect more… Read more »

Trish
Guest
Trish

I totally see where you want different stuff for a second babe. Especially one of a different sex. So find a swap or swap online.

Kari Weber
Guest
Kari Weber

I am confused… Some of you are saying that a Baby Shower isn’t about the gifts… that it should be about the baby.  So, we shower the mother in celebration of a baby coming. Fine.  I get on board with that.  BUT then some of the same people say that they think a second, third, fourth (whatever) baby shower is unnecessary and even… selfish.  SO, are you saying that the subsequent babies are not deserving of being celebrated? That the mother doesn’t deserve attention when bringing MORE babies into the world.  I think that with the economy the way it… Read more »

Mary
Guest

I’m much older than most of you, my kids are in their late teens. I would have died (and my mother would have killed me) before I’d have thrown a shower for myself. But I did have really fun parties for all of them. For the first, a boy, I had the usual showers. For the second, another boy three years later, it was a fun group of friends who got together for an afternoon party. We ate and drank and chatted, and one of them had made me a quilt for the baby. I loved it. For my third,… Read more »

Serendipity
Guest

California here! 😉 My supervisor/friend was pregnant with her second and not planning on a second shower because her mom thought it was tacky. I got a few other coworkers/friends together and we surprised her one day with a visit, some presents, food, and laughs. I liked it. 🙂 On the other hand, one of my friends got pregnant and had a shotgun wedding. We had a wedding shower,a bachelorette party, a wedding, and a baby shower within months of each other. I feel like I spent waaaay too much on her and that it was seriously tacky of them… Read more »

Rachel
Guest
Rachel

I’m kind of bothered by registries in general , so I’m probably kind of on the fringe here. However– some friends of ours threw us a (co-ed) “meet the baby” shower after our son was born, scheduled for a month after his due date. They wanted to throw a shower beforehand, but it seemed gift-grabby to us, so we deferred. We asked that the invites make it clear that the gathering was social in nature and that we didn’t want gifts, but everyone brought them anyway (just as they did to his “no gifts, please” first birthday party). People like… Read more »

Jenny
Guest
Jenny

I’m not sure if I am in the minority, but I always get baby gifts (after the baby is born) in additional to baby shower gifts. So I don’t react well to 2nd baby showers. Sometimes I mentally add up the amount of money I’ve spent on someones bachlorette party, wedding shower, wedding gift, baby shower, baby gift and really cringe 🙂

LBH
Guest
LBH

I am due with my second son in less than 2 years and I don’t expect a shower–nor do I need one, but some friends have very (VERY) sweetly suggested having a group pitch-in for a postpartum doula for day (or more) or a diaper drive. I love both of those ideas.

S
Guest
S

Hmmm, I dunno. I’m from NY, FWIW. Second showers seem kinda greedy, unless you’re just going to invite your VERY close circle of friends and family. Maybe you could have a “meet the baby” party after the baby is born, and if folks want to bring gifts, great! If not, then just have fun celebrating the baby. A registry for a second baby seems pushy to me, so I’d buy the must-haves myself and predict that anyone who buys a baby gift is going to get something gender-specific for your little girl.

Kailee
Guest
Kailee

I am originally from Texas, but not live in DC, so I think I have a few perspectives on the second baby shower. I’ve been invited to showers for a second baby, and they were totally different than that of the first. The guest list is much smaller, and there was no registry. It wasn’t so much a shower as a get together. The gifts were not as extravagant, and the vibe was much more “Let’s sit and chat” than “Let’s play games and open gifts.” And, I think you have to be very careful when putting together an invite… Read more »

Melissa
Guest
Melissa

Congratulations on your new baby! I’m from the midwest. This writer seems really greedy to me. Unhappy with perfectly nice thermometer someone generously gave you the first time? Buy a new one. Want to redecorate? That’s on you. Thrifting, hand me downs, eBay are all great ways to get inexpensive items for your baby. If someone wants to bring you a gift after the babyis born, that is generous and sweet of them. Just because you are pregnant does not entitle you to brand new everything. Time to pay for what you really need and graciously thank anyone for their… Read more »

Becky
Guest
Becky

I’m from the Midwest. Keep in mind that I don’t have kids – but most of my friends do. I haven’t been to a shower yet (wedding or baby) that wasn’t at least 75% focused on the gifts, as in most of the time was spent opening and oohing, ahhing over them. When it comes to my close friends, whether it’s the 1st, 2nd or 8th child, I almost always give some sort of gift shortly before or after the baby is born (and often one to the older siblings.) So in my mind, this is something your close friends… Read more »

Kim
Guest
Kim

Wow, folks – judge much? Ok, look, OP, you are sounding a little flustered and a wee bit grabby, but I suspect you know that and maybe were even poking fun at yourself with the OCD stuff. So. Your baby definitely does not need new stuff. You might, if you absolutely hated some of your baby gear. But you probably are not going to get it, and you should be ok with that. I’m from California, and my girls are 3 years apart. I had two separate friends offer/insist on throwing me a shower, and they ended up doing it… Read more »

Bonnie
Guest
Bonnie

I’m from So Cal (directly in-between LA and Palm Springs, so it’s a pretty liberal area) but my family on both sides are from the South. So I’ve been to second baby showers (within a few years of the first-born) with registries (shock and horror!) They were always for different genders, as well though. I’ve been to a shower thrown by the mom-to-be herself, and even though it was hosted at her in-laws house and I know her MIL had a lot to do with the shower, she specifically mentioned throwing it for herself on multiple occasions. I’ve also been… Read more »

angie
Guest

No need to “disguise” the baby shower as part of the housewarming. Your real friends will bring gifts no matter, and you won’t need to mention it for fear of sounding like you’re fishing for gifts. I have 2 daughters and for my second baby people tended to give us very practical things. Most people know that practical gifts are what you give for second babies.

Megan @ Mama Bub
Guest

I have no problem with second showers. I had a “sprinkle” for my second, but didn’t register and got mostly girly things. We have a boy and already had the big stuff, so I was happy to get a bunch of frilly things. I agree with Amy – I don’t like registry information on the invite. People will ask and in this day and age, most people know to just check Babies R Us. Even though most people WILL bring gifts, I didn’t like the idea that a gift was necessary for admission to the shower.

Melissa
Guest
Melissa

My friends are throwing a “sprinkle” for my second baby. It’s a smaller gathering that’s not so frou-frou as the shower they held for the first.

Allison
Guest
Allison

I’m with Megan. I call second showers sprinkles b/c every baby needs some pomp and circumstance that they are coming into the world. New binkies and blankies and loving on the baby and the mama. However, I do have issue with people wanting second showers to, as OP says, “upgrade” espeically when they are close in age. My friends have been BEYOND gracious, but it’s in no way their responsibility to fill up my baby’s closet. My husband and I (who are due with our first in a month) have had this discussion when he HAD to go with the… Read more »

Stephanie
Guest
Stephanie

Texas here! I have no problems with second, third or fourth baby showers because, as you said, down here it’s about the gathering and celebrating with friends and family. An opportunity to laugh, eat good food and truly celebrate the mom and her baby – it is NOT about gifts. I’m sorry but when I read that advice request, it struck me as greedy and entitled. A second baby shower so she can cash in? Oh I don’t think so Honey. That’s rude, no matter where you’re from.

Christen
Guest

I love the theme of announcing our locations. NorCal represent! Woot! OK, Nesting Second Time Mommy, if you celebrate Christmas and your baby is due in December…you’re going to end up with a lot of stuff, so I wouldn’t worry about this baby not being celebrated and loved. Regardless: People are going to be happy and excited for your baby. And if you follow everyone’s anti-registry advice, you’re going to have to relinquish some of the OCD tendencies since you likely won’t be able to control exactly what you receive. But it’s the thought that counts, right?

Wallydraiglw
Guest

I, personally, am totally okay with second baby showers. BUT! As far as I know, they’re still not considered okay by etiquette. A baby shower is a party thrown to welcome a new mother and/or father into parenthood, which is why a second baby shower isn’t done. Again, I myself think second (and third! and fourth! and on!) showers are great, since I like to give gifts and eat little sandwiches and have cake. If you do go with the second shower, I would keep it to family only or to family and very, very close friends.

JenVegas
Guest
JenVegas

Chicago (by way of NY) here! I don’t really get what the big hubbub is about registries. Frankly I think we should all register for EVERYTHING. How many hours of hemming and hawing over random goods would this have saved me when shopping for someone’s birthday gifts? As it is, I am a firm believer in checking Amazon for a wish list before heading out to the stores. So I don’t really think it’s a big deal to put registry info on an invite. It’s not a demand, it’s a suggestion. And, if you’re the type of person who can’t… Read more »

Yar
Guest
Yar

I think this is a great example of where “etiquette” can fail — it’s great to have rules governing social interaction, and it’s especially great to know what to do in certain situations, but I think what the original post is really about is this: “…and surely she deserves the fanfair and spoiling that is a baby shower too?” I’m pretty sure that, in utero, a baby isn’t going to appreciate the fan fare and spoiling, but Mom certainly is. And I get that — wow, it really is nice to be pampered and appreciated when, by God, you’re making… Read more »

Nerwal
Guest
Nerwal

From Texas here and of the unpopular opinion that second showers are a no and are kinda tacky and pretty gift-grabby. Because showers with “fanfair and spoiling” for babies are about the mother to be. Not the baby. However, having a “Meet the Baby” party after the baby is born is perfectly acceptable. People will bring gifts, and if you have a registry (which I don’t see why you wouldn’t if just because at the end you get a completion coupon) and they ask you (I share Amy’s opinion of no registry info on the invite), then share that info.… Read more »

Bridget
Guest
Bridget

I feel like this is a scenario where either a precedent has already been set, or is being set. So either this is a common thing amongst your friends, to have a big shower thrown by whomever (expecting mother included), or you are going to make it a common thing. If you are making it a common thing, then are you willing to shell out big bucks for your friends/family’s second, third, fourth children? If you have no problem with reciprocating, or you already have, then go for it. But if you wouldn’t want to drop $100 per kid for… Read more »

christina
Guest
christina

Ugh. I’m sorry, but you seem really greedy to me. Please don’t throw yourself a shower. If you “need” new things (other than the 0-3 pink outfits, that is), please start a baby fund and buy them yourself. Otherwise, be gracious and grateful when close friends buy you gifts when she arrives.

Karen
Guest
Karen

My sis-in-law’s family does sprinkles and they invite a small group of women and all design and create a craft-type item they either give to the baby/mommy or take home for themselves. The most recent was a beading/necklace thing and the ladies made one for the mom and took their own with them. It was social and no one opened gifts there. Previous events included gift opening at the end. I am having my second and am very similar to the woman who posted. I would love a pack-n-play (something we didn’t need the first time), a bumbo thing, new… Read more »

Eva
Guest
Eva

Or maybe not if you are in the thick of the nesting instinct and also a second child who doesn’t want her second child to only have hand me downs from an older sibling. If that makes any sense. So now that I have done my inventory I have realized that there is a whole lot of stuff that I don’t have or want to buy over for the second kid, and surely she deserves the fanfair and spoiling that is a baby shower too? Sure I have a pram, cot, car seat (that I want to upgrade). But I… Read more »