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You Must See Wonder Woman This Very Moment Unless...

Wonder Woman is Slaying at the Box Office And Here’s 30 Reasons Not To See It (But Go Anyway)

By Mir Kamin

Yesterday I went and saw Wonder Woman with my older teens, and I need to preface this with the clarification that I am Team Marvel through and through; I have never liked a DC Comics movie. So, despite the hype, I was ready to be disappointed. Surely it couldn’t be everything people were saying, right? Maybe it was less than entirely terrible, and so people have just been sort of, you know, celebrating that.

Well, We loved it. Loved it. This is truly one of those films that has it all. That said, if you’re hesitating about see Wonder Woman, or wondering if it’s appropriate for your kids, or if boys will actually enjoy it, I compiled this handy list for you, because I’m a giver. You should definitely run right out and see this movie with your kids, unless:

  1. You think female superheroes are dumb.
  2. You think female superheroes should not only be aware of their drop-dead gorgeousness, they should wield their sexuality like a weapon.
  3. You think superheroes should always know that they are superheroes.
  4. You only like superhero movies with tidy, happy endings where everything is fine and resolved (or leaves just enough unresolved for a sequel).
  5. You hate mythology and any story predicated on “ancient” stories coexisting as truth even in the modern world.
  6. You can suspend your disbelief to make room for a female superhero, but really need every man in the film to be endlessly skeptical and spend its entirety trying to protect her and/or talk her out of whatever she’s attempting because, obviously.
  7. You can suspend your disbelief to make room for a female superhero, but really need every man in the film to be more interested in trying to get into her pants than helping to save the world because, she’s hot and that’s what men do.
  8. You need there to be a clear romantic subplot wherein any tension is the result of the man working to convince the woman she needs him, and then you need said storyline to have a happy ending because girls need to know that having a boyfriend is more important than saving the world (or that it’s okay to save the world as long as you also have a boyfriend).
  9. You’re the sort of person who likes to ignore a movie’s rating and then complain about how it was (rated) inappropriate for your small child(ren). [Pro tip: Wonder Woman is rated PG-13. Personally, I’d be okay with viewers 10+ or so, but the rating is there for a reason, so yeah, I’m not going to recommend you take your 5-year-old to see a film with a lot of graphic violence.]
  10. You despise movies with extensive fight scenes, even when they are breathtaking in their composition, and more like complex choreography than carnage.
  11. You think your male child(ren) will find it confusing or unrealistic or boring or icky or unrelatable for a woman to be the main hero.
  12. You think your female child(ren) will find it confusing or unrealistic or boring or icky or unrelatable for a woman to be the main hero.
  13. You don’t want your impressionable offspring to see a world where men are unnecessary.
  14. You don’t want your impressionable offspring to see a woman raised in a world where men are unnecessary come to appreciate and trust (some) men, anyway.
  15. You don’t want your impressionable offspring to see a female super-villain.
  16. You don’t want your impressionable offspring to see a female super-villain who is also a genius scientist.
  17. You don’t want your impressionable offspring to see a female super-villain who maybe, possibly, has her own tragic backstory.
  18. You don’t want your impressionable offspring to see a female super-villain shown even a moment of compassion.
  19. You don’t want your impressionable offspring to see that sometimes a “happy” ending is complicated and not altogether joyful, as it turns out.
  20. You don’t want your impressionable offspring to see human beings as flawed and messy and possibly undeserving.
  21. You don’t want your younger children to see something really different from every other superhero movie they’ve seen so far.
  22. You don’t want your older teens to actually want to hang out with you and share the experience of a superhero movie you all love.
  23. You don’t want a female superhero who is both powerful beyond measure and bad-ass but who also wields traditional female-leaning attributes (such as compassion) as positives rather than weakness.
  24. You don’t want to tear up/cry (multiple times) during a superhero film.
  25. You don’t want your kid(s) to see you tear up/cry (multiple times) during a superhero film.
  26. You don’t want your kid(s) to tear up/cry (multiple times) during a superhero film.
  27. You don’t like a movie to run over 120 minutes, even if you’re transfixed the entire time and the credits leave you blinking and wondering how it’s already been, like, two and a half hours.
  28. You don’t want your impressionable offspring confused by a movie called Wonder Woman which features a… wonder of a woman… who never actually says, “Oh hey, call me Wonder Woman.”
  29. Your allegiance to Lynda Carter and her invisible jet forbids you to witness and fall in love with a reboot.
  30. You’re more of a Captain Underpants kind of person.

I hope this helps you decide whether Wonder Woman is right for you and your children.

You’re welcome!

Photo source: Wonder Woman movie site

Mir Kamin
About the Author

Mir Kamin

Mir Kamin began writing about her life online over a decade ago, back when she was a divorced mom trying to raise two regular little kids and figure out what she wanted to be when she grew up. Now ...

Mir Kamin began writing about her life online over a decade ago, back when she was a divorced mom trying to raise two regular little kids and figure out what she wanted to be when she grew up. Now her life looks very different than it did back then: Those little kids turned into anything-but-regular teenagers, she is remarried, and somehow she’s become one of those people who talks to her dogs in a high-pitched baby voice. Along the way she’s continued chronicling the everyday at Woulda Coulda Shoulda, plus she’s bringing you daily bargain therapy at Want Not. The good news is that Mir grew up and became a writer and she still really likes hanging out with her kids; the bad news is that her hair is a lot grayer than it used to be.

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Comments

  • Susie

    Oh Mir. Thank you. Because while I will not be taking my five year old, I agree- you should only skip this movie if you hate fun. (Team Marvel for the win!)

  • KR

    I went to this just to support feminist filmmaking and indulge my husband’s love of superhero films, expecting to find it passable. I was surprised to enjoy it but mostly SHOCKED by what a moving experience it was for me to see a legit female superhero, unapologetically kicking major ass as the focus of a full film. It felt so personally meaningful and inspiring.
    As you said, there is no way I am showing this to my 5 & 3 year olds, but I can’t wait to watch it with my daughters when they are old enough – and I am so glad that they are growing up in a world where such a film exists.