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This is Your Brain on New Motherhood

Nov03

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Photo by James Jordan
One of my absolutely favorite not-about-me stories is this one, from Ezra’s two-month appointment with our pediatrician. She was very late getting to our appointment, thanks to a very brand-new mother who had an appointment ahead of us. And was very, very late for it.
Summary: Very Brand-New Mother drives to doctor’s office with Very Brand-New Baby. She doesn’t know how to get her baby’s infant seat out of the car. She fights with it for awhile, gets (apparently) a little hysterical because OMG HER BABY IS TRAPPED IN THE CAR. She doesn’t have the doctor’s phone number, does not want to leave her infant unattended in the car…so she calls her mother to drive over from God-knows-where and help her. She finally arrives at the office completely rattled and tear-stained and shaken, well after her appointment time, but our doctor sympathetically squeezes her in, because the front desk staff misunderstand the story and thought that the baby was locked in the car. Very Brand-New Mother relates her horrific encounter with the Graco latching mechanism to our doctor, who gets confused and asks her why the HELL she didn’t just unbuckle the baby from the car seat and carry him inside?
Very Brand-New Mother: Oh. I never thought of that.
And oh, how I laughed, when the doctor related this little comedy of errors — even though this dingbat was the reason I had just spent upwards of 20 minutes waiting in a boring-ass exam room with my two-month-old AND my preschooler and very few entertainment options — but how do you not laugh about that? I mean, dude. Your baby is not welded to his car seat. That’s an accessory. It’s sold separately.
But I also totally understood the misfiring thought process that must have been happening out in the parking lot. Because I’ve been there, done that, gotten the sarcastic standing ovation for doing it in front of a crowded room. Behold, some of the Really Dumb Things I have done (or my husband has done) in the first few days, weeks and months of my new babies’ lives, thanks to hormonal paranoia and sleep deprivation and general postpartum brain fog:
1) Shown up to a non-existent doctor’s appointment because I neglected to notice that I was looking at an appointment card from six months earlier, and for the wrong child.
2) Driven Noah to school on a major holiday, stood at the locked front door for 10 minutes before wondering why there weren’t any other cars in the parking lot.
3) Held up the line at the grocery store because I forgot my bonus card and flubbed no less than four attempts to give the cashier my home phone number before calling my husband to ask him what our home phone number was. (Yes, I had my cell phone with me. Yes, I have our home phone number on my cell phone. What’s your point?)
4) Pulled over to the side of the road to double-check that I remembered to put Ezra in his car seat because he was being too quiet and I suddenly couldn’t quite guarantee that I hadn’t accidentally driven off with the baby on the roof of the car like a forgotten grande latte.
5) Left the stove on, left the iron on, ironed clothing while the iron wasn’t even plugged in, burned soup, lost my keys, left the house wearing two different shoes, left the house with my nursing bra unhooked, misspelled my last name on an insurance form, forgot to let the dog in, forgot to let the dog out, and once hysterically demanded a $20 tip back from a very happy cabbie in exchange for a $1.
HUSBAND BONUS: Jason once dropped me off at a restaurant, drove a couple blocks to find parking, then walked in and sat down at our table…without the baby. Who was in his car seat, in the car, two blocks away. When he ran out and returned with Noah, all the tables around us (who heard me shriek about the OMG BAYBEEEE) stood up and applauded.
Your turn! What’s the stupidest, most-embarrassing lapse of all common sense and problem-solving skills you’ve ever done as a Very Brand-New (and Very Sleep-Deprived) Mom?


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About the author

Amalah

http://www.amalah.com
Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy's daily mothering adventures at Amalah. Also, it's pronounced AIM-ah-lah.

If there is a question you would like answered on the Advice Smackdown, please submit it to amyadvice@gmail.com.

Amy also documented her second pregnancy (with Ezra) in our wildly popular Weekly Pregnancy Calendar, Zero to Forty.

Amy is mother to rising first-grader Noah, preschooler Ezra, and toddler Ike.


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66 Responses to “This is Your Brain on New Motherhood”

  1. silver Nov 03 at 1:45 pm Reply Reply

    My family is all on my husband’s insurance plan from his work. Because of this, I need his birthdate when making appointments at new clinics. When making the appointment for my brand new baby, I couldn’t remember my husband’s birthday. I gave the woman two wrong dates before I finally got it right. She must have thought I was doing some kind of insurance fraud or something.
    My insurance company has a nurse line that we can call with health questions. They ask for my zip code as a verification that they are talking to the right person. We moved two weeks before I had the baby. So combine post-pregnancy brain fog, sleep deprivation, and a new address… That’s right, I couldn’t even remember my zip code.
    I seriously wonder why some companies don’t offer maternity leave. Do they really want someone as space cadet like as I get after having babies doing work?

  2. Melissa Nov 03 at 1:45 pm Reply Reply

    I can’t take credit for this one, but my sister-in-law (who is seriously one of the best, most devoted moms I know) locked herself out of her house. While her newborn was inside. She had to call the police to help her get in.

  3. Nicole Nov 03 at 2:07 pm Reply Reply

    Well, it would have been embarassing if anyone else had seen it.
    In the early days, Darren stayed home for a week with me and the next week, I started driving him to the horrendously early train in the morning. Often the baby would nap afterwords for 2-3 hours which saved me. Seriously.
    Anyways, one morning (I’m fairly certain it wasn’t that first week), I drove him to work, came back and went to bed.
    I woke up a couple of hours later, and due to the blackout blinds didn’t realize the sun had come up. I rolled over and looked at the clock and my brain went “OMGITS9AMIHAVETODRIVEDARRENTOTHETRAINHESLAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!”
    I leaped out of bed, exited the bedroom, glanced at the bassinette where the baby was sleeping peacefully and hurtled down the stairs….
    …to an empty living room. Then my brain went, “Oh, maybe he worked from home for a bit.” And I ran down the stairs to the office and found…
    An empty office. And then my brain thought, “Oh he must have taken his car.” So I run back upstairs, tripping on the stairs as I go, and check the garage where I see…
    …his car.
    And I’m completely flummoxed. So I phone his cel, and I ask him where he is and how he got to work. He told me I’d driven him to the train and didn’t I remember?
    Then I went and drank a pot of coffee.

  4. RookieMom Heather Nov 03 at 2:18 pm Reply Reply

    Amy, you nailed it. All mine seem like cheap imitations of yours. Here are two of my rookie mom moves:
    1. Drove to pick up my sister (with baby in the car) and marveled at how nice it was to be kid-free for a few minutes before realizing OMG I was supposed to bring baby (and he was there the whole time).
    2. Was absolutely stuck trying to figure out how to get car seat and baby into car when 2 cars were parked too close to me in parking garage. FREAKED OUT. Luckily, I had a friend nearby.
    That’s all I can think of. Either I was totally perfect. Or have (more likely) blanked out all those other events!

  5. Klutzy Nov 03 at 2:47 pm Reply Reply

    A few crazy “Doh” moments:
    * Wanting tea, I boiled water in a pot. 5 mins later, Husband came over to see what was taking so long.. and then asked why I didn’t use the microwave or our kettle – both of which would have been faster and were what I used to use. Uhhh….
    * I used to cook couscous often before the Baby, yet, the 1st week after the Baby, I reversed the process and poured raw couscous into the pan 1st, and then wanted to add cold water. My husband stopped me on time, but I had thought what I was doing was perfectly normal… for the next 5 mins. (Yeah, took that long to realize!)
    * Car’s fuel light turned on, so I drove to Costco to fuel up. When I pulled up to the pump, I tried a few times before I realized I forgot my debit card’s pin #! Yet I knew I didn’t have enough gas to go anywhere else! I parked in the lot, and called my husband (at work 30 minutes away) to come rescue me!
    I’m sure there were more moments, but this is what I remember, sleep-deprived and all…

  6. Cass Nov 03 at 2:54 pm Reply Reply

    I was talking on my cell phone to a good friend. After looking all around me, I told my friend that I could not find my cell phone. The search ended shortly thereafter…

  7. paranoid Nov 03 at 3:01 pm Reply Reply

    Ok, I’ll play. I have two:
    1. When my first daughter was born, I was very hormonal and stressed about breastfeeding. She was tiny and scrawny and kind of had peely skin on her fingers (as most babies do, I now know). Nursing wasn’t going well, and finally I broke down in tears because I was 100% convinced that she was DEHYDRATED AND SHRIVELING UP!!!!! Because her hands are wrinkly! See?
    2. A few months later, I went to the grocery store, armed for a big shop with coupons, etc. Got through the checkout, and reached for my wallet to pay. Um, where’s my wallet? Oh! At home, in my other bag. I had to call DH to bring it to me.

  8. Anne Nov 03 at 3:28 pm Reply Reply

    Left our (very expensive) digital camera next to the (unattended) “Please Take One” bowl of Halloween candy.

  9. Julie Nov 03 at 3:48 pm Reply Reply

    We were using the infant carseat for two weeks before we realized the straps adjusted. I had heard babies grow out of those seats quickly, but given how snug my little guy was in there, I thought we’d be buying the next size up in a month. It wasn’t until a friend stopped over with her baby, and pressed the little button that loosens the straps, that we realized it. Hubby and I both went ‘ohhhhhh’.

  10. Olivia Nov 03 at 4:02 pm Reply Reply

    -While getting ready to bathe the baby, accidentally turned on the shower and sprayed her with cold water.
    -Knowing she is still unstable while sitting, got up to check dinner, thought “I should lay her down so she doesn’t fall backwards (on carpet)”, then left the room anyway. She of course fell and cried because of the scare.

  11. Lindsay Nov 03 at 4:43 pm Reply Reply

    My husband always wears a pair of soccer shorts to bed and in the midst of his new-baby-sleep-deprived state, he woke up one morning with TWO pairs on. Still not sure how it happened.
    As for myself, I woke up just about every night and thought the baby was in bed with us. I would accuse my husband of putting the baby in bed and he’d have to lift up his pillow and say, “No honey, it’s just a pillow. The baby is in his bassinet.” Crazy.

  12. Kristina Nov 03 at 5:48 pm Reply Reply

    After our first trip out of town with the baby (at 2.5 months), I couldn’t find my house keys when we got home. I swore up and down I’d seen them last at my MIL’s house. Had her turn her house upside down. Nothing. Had my mother do the same. And my FIL. No one had seen the keys. The next day, I found them… next to my computer in my home office. I’d never taken them on the trip.
    Just a few weeks ago, I was gearing up for a day of working without the baby. Packed my laptop, books, and pump and headed to the library. Which was closed for another half hour. Once it opened, I got everything arranged, went to the bathroom, and set up to pump… only to realize I’d forgotten a key component without which it would not work. Drove home with immensely hurting breasts. I haven’t yet managed a full day away from home.
    I love everyone else’s stories… good to know it’s not just me!

  13. lindswing Nov 03 at 8:04 pm Reply Reply

    So far, the only thing I’ve done that makes me absolutely kick myself with regret is the time I put the carseat straight into the car from the stroller after a walk so as not to wake the baby. When I got to my destination, I realized that I had never buckled the baby into the carseat between walk and driving, and he was simply flopped into the seat and covered by a blanket. I spent the next five minutes all but hyperventilating and the rest of the day imagining what would have happened if I had gotten into an accident or pulled over. I didn’t admit it to my husband (who was very understanding) for almost a week.
    He is only seven weeks old, though. I’m sure I’ll have more by the time this is all over.

  14. Lindsay Nov 04 at 12:13 am Reply Reply

    With my 1st baby, who’s 13 now, I was a single college student mum, and I remember that 1st year fondly as “No Sleep Til Brooklyn” year. I also used cloth velcro diapers, because I was, well, poor, and a lady at my mom’s church gave them to me.
    So one night I went to pick up a squalling sodden baby from his bassinet, only to realize I’d put him back with no rubber pants on. Ewwww it was like a baby lake in there.

  15. geek anachronism Nov 04 at 5:25 am Reply Reply

    It wasn’t sleep deprivation but the severe (worse than labour) pain of having a stone stuck in a bile duct sans gallbladder – I asked my brother who was staying with me to look after the baby to ring my husband to come home to look after the baby while I was whisked away to the ER.
    What I thought my brother would do is beyond me, I was just worried that I couldn’t look after her while puking violently and flailing (and peeing myself!).
    My husband did forget her date of birth.

  16. Kate Nov 04 at 7:41 am Reply Reply

    We had to take the baby to the peditrician when he (the baby) was 3 days old. I got up early and carefully packed the diaper bag with diapers, extra clothes, burp clothes, pacifiers, baby wipes, and a few toys. It was December, so I dressed the baby in a onesie, a sleeper, a warm snow-suit, and then put a blanket over him. I took a shower while my mother-in-law watched the baby, and put on real clothes for the first time since giving birth. I brushed my hair, brushed my teeth, and felt really, really proud that after only 3 days, I was totally managing this baby thing just fine.
    It wasn’t until I got to the doctor’s office and they asked for the baby’s insurance card that I realized: I had packed everything in the world the baby could possibly need, and totally forgotten my purse and everything in it.

  17. Elizabeth Nov 04 at 8:24 am Reply Reply

    Was breastfeeding the baby in bed, apparently fell asleep and woke to a HUGE hickey that was about 2 inches from my actual nipple . . .

  18. marlena Nov 04 at 8:44 am Reply Reply

    Put the cereal back in the fridge and the milk in the pantry. Then could not find the milk!
    “Lost” the baby several times only to realize she was napping peacefully in her carseat where I’d left her.
    Kept calling new baby by her sister’s name (they do have similar names, in defense).
    Washed hair with moisturizer by mistake.

  19. andrea Nov 04 at 9:11 am Reply Reply

    I’ve always had “only me” moments.. at least now I have an excuse for them..

  20. Courtney Nov 04 at 9:39 am Reply Reply

    When reporting to the receptionist for a doctor’s appointment, they asked for my name and so I gave it to them. Except that I gave my maiden name. I’ve been married for seven years.

  21. Jamie Nov 04 at 9:49 am Reply Reply

    Here’s mine- I was sitting in the living room, sewing and watching tv while the little guy slept in his bouncer. About 20 minutes later I started hearing this little squeeking sound and I just about jumped out of my skin, I had completely forgotten that we had a baby and I had looked over to see if our dog was making that noise.
    But I’m only 8 weeks out, I’m sure there are many stupider moments to come.

  22. Jaymee Nov 04 at 10:25 am Reply Reply

    Someone else said that they wake up thinking the baby is in bed with them. I do the same thing! I startle awake thinking the baby is in the bed and then when I can’t find him I panic and start looking on the floor by the bed before realizing the baby is in his crib. Other than that the only thing I have done is forget to take the diaper bag with me, and it was only one time. It was my very first outing with the baby so I really didn’t feel that bad about it.

  23. jodifur Nov 04 at 11:11 am Reply Reply

    I spent the first 2 months of my son’s life not being able to find either my palm pilot (this was 5 years ago), my wallet, or my cell phone. I have no idea why I couldn’t just put them all in my purse. I eventually got a smart phone. B/c then I could only lose the phone or the wallet, but not three things. Drove me crazy. I was normally the most organized person in the world.

  24. Cheryl S. Nov 04 at 11:12 am Reply Reply

    Let’s see. Put the baby in the carseat, forgot to do the straps, and drove all the way to my destination.
    Went to Target, did my shopping, put all the bags in the car and started to put the cart back. It was only then did I realize “Oh, I forgot to put the baby in the car! She’s still in her carseat strapped to the cart!”
    Spent many mornings whipping around to stare into the back seat because either I thought I left the baby when I was supposed to have her, or forgot to drop her at daycare! (Neither of which ever actually happened.)
    Im sure there are more, but I’ve blocked them out!

  25. Vandy Nov 04 at 11:25 am Reply Reply

    My baby brain moment came after my first son was born. I set him in the car seat to carrying him upstairs and did not strap him in, after all we were just going up stairs right? Well the handle was up but not locked and when I picked up the seat I promptly dumped my son face first on the floor. He was fine but I was a wreck.
    My next stellar baby brain moment was not too much later. I had decided that carrying a wallet that would go in the diaper bag was easier than carrying a purse too. I went to the grocery store without the baby and was only carrying the wallet. The cart had this very handy place to set a wallet and it was so handy I left my wallet there when I left the store. They called and I was able to retrieve it but didn’t learn anything because I did it again later.
    Another time I set the baby in the car seat in the cart at teh store and when he got fussy I undid the straps cause I was right there and all but in the check out lane as I was paying he started to do back bends and almost flipped out. The check out lady alerted me and I caught him in time.

  26. dcfullest Nov 04 at 11:48 am Reply Reply

    I have one month old twins. In the past month I have:
    Thrown away my insurance card and driver’s license — they were in the bag with my prescription. I took out the drugs and tossed them.
    Lost my wallet and keys for 5 days. They were in a pocket in my diaper bag.
    Forgotten my PIN.
    Gotten lost in my neighborhood.
    Stood at the sink for 10 minutes trying to figure out which way to turn the handle to get hot water.

  27. Laurie Nov 04 at 12:23 pm Reply Reply

    Our first trip out of town with the baby (he was about six weeks old) we had an early morning flight. We got to the airport and I realized I had put the baby in the car seat but never buckled him in. I don’t think I ever told my husband.

  28. Christy Nov 04 at 12:47 pm Reply Reply

    I remember coming home from a full day away with my little one to discover that I had left the front door WIDE OPEN. With a sinking feeling, I raced through the house to see if anything was missing and felt like such a fool for forgetting to shut and lock the door. We were lucky that nothing was missing, but I still double and triple check the door now even though my son is six months old.

  29. Jennifer B Nov 04 at 1:17 pm Reply Reply

    Well, it’s not the most original thing, but I locked myself and baby out of the house. Going to the store in January with a 6-month-old, putting baby in carseat in car, reaching for car keys and realizing they were in the locked house. Luckily my cell phone was in the car and I was able to call my husband who worked not too far away and he came home to let us in before we froze to death.

  30. gizella Nov 04 at 3:38 pm Reply Reply

    My husband *just* called me this morning saying he forgot our kid’s birthday…but mine is this: When she was about 8 months old, I had a job as the subscriptions branch of a now defunct magazine. I was going to UPS to drop some off, and I got out of the car first to unpack the items. The doors were locked! OMG! I tried everyone except the trunk and my door (which i just came out of, and was open!) and thought I locked her in the car on a very deserted street. I panicked and started becoming hysterical, picked up rocks and tried to break into the car, unsuccessfully. Then I started to wonder why would the car lock itself when I’d left the electronic keys in there (its a prius, pretty hard to lock yourself out actually), and i tried the drivers door and it was open. So for months we drove around with huge scratches on one window.

  31. Heidi Nov 04 at 4:23 pm Reply Reply

    How about mistaking baby formula for creamer and mixing it into your coffee? Did that a few times…
    Also, I had her all strapped into the carseat and drove off….Without buckling the carseat in. When I went to take her out I fReAkEd the eff out!!

  32. Jessica Nov 04 at 4:46 pm Reply Reply

    I went to give my son a bath the other night, which is usually a happy event, and he SCREAMED the second I put him in it. SCREAMED. I went to get the washcloth out of the water and realized why. In my sleep deprived state, I used freezing cold water. Whoops… I swore I tested that water too, but 4 hours of sleep is not a good thing.
    My husband kindly pointed out it was good it was cold and not scalding hot. Aaah, there is that silver lining.

  33. Kate Nov 04 at 9:56 pm Reply Reply

    @ lindswing, I did exactly the same thing this summer when we were headed home from the beach. Luckily I realized it just as we were stopping for gas a few miles into the trip otherwise I might have driven all three hours home with him that way.

  34. Sarah Nov 04 at 11:37 pm Reply Reply

    We’re going on 5 1/2 months now and my husband tells me that nearly every night I wake up thinking I dropped/rolled onto/threw/lost the baby. She sleeps in a co-sleeper NEXT to the bed, she refuses to sleep in bed with us…I apparently have very irrational arguments with him over this in my sleep (insisting that she is in bed with us and OMG WHY WON’T YOU HELP ME FIND HER!?). He used to try to calm me down and keep me in bed. Now he just lets me rant crazily as I search for the baby on the floor on all fours without my glasses. I have no memory of it ever happening, but I totally believe him. In my defense I have woken up once or twice nursing her sitting up not knowing what I was doing.

  35. maria Nov 05 at 12:56 am Reply Reply

    lindswing, I’ve done that too, i’d be driving down the freeway and wondering, “why is Jakob so squawky back there?” and he’d be loose and flailing without the straps done up… durr.
    I’ve also gone on shopping trips whilst leaving the car keys in the trunk keyhole and coming back after an hour! Thank goodness no one stole my car, I’ve done that a couple times now!
    Just this evening I took a VERY quick trip to Michaels to buy a photo album and met my aunt there. Jakob (who will be 4 months tomorrow) had been with my mum all day and I hadn’t thought about what he came home wearing, his “back-up” outfit. While at Michaels Jakob decided it was the perfect place to “let loose” in his stroller/car seat. I think he set a record, and with no back up outfit in the diaper bag, he went home wearing a spit-up on sweater and no trousers. (Thankfully we had a blanket to cover his bare legs!!)

  36. natalieushka Nov 05 at 1:03 pm Reply Reply

    My son is 11 weeks old. I have called him by the wrong name (the name of a friend’s baby) while cooing at him when he was 2 days old (whoops!)

  37. Kristina Nov 05 at 3:13 pm Reply Reply

    I went back to work when my first baby was 3 months old. The night before my first day back he woke up every hour all night long. While I was pumping at work the next day, I realized that I had forgotten to attach the bottles and the pumped milk was spilling right into my lap. Sooooo tiiiiired.

  38. Andrea Nov 05 at 3:42 pm Reply Reply

    When my son was born, we kept him in a bassinet beside the bed. Every time he woke up during the night, I’d pick him up and give him bottle and once he was finished, lay him back down. One morning I woke up in sheer panic because I remembered waking up and feeding him, but not putting him down again. I woke my husband in a frenzy and tore all the sheets off the bed trying to find the baby…who was in the bassinet sleeping peacefully. It never occured to me to check there first!

  39. Liz M. Nov 05 at 6:46 pm Reply Reply

    Not my stories, but still fun to share…
    Right after I was born, my parents temporarily forgot they had a baby and left me at home alone while they both went out to run their usual Saturday errands.
    My in-laws had a similar incident with my brother-in-law. They forgot about him when going out for their usual Thursday night date.

  40. Spinderella Nov 05 at 7:12 pm Reply Reply

    I had that itchy pregnancy rash, and had Benadryl ointment on the bathroom counter. A few days after my daughter was born, and in a sleep-deprivation fog, I began putting the Benadryl on my toothbrush one morning…I realized seconds before I started to brush my teeth with the stuff.

  41. Mary Nov 06 at 11:43 am Reply Reply

    Don’t beat yourselves up about the forgetting to buckle the kid thing. I have three and it’s happened at least once per kid, here. Just think of it this way — all of us here made it through our entire childhoods bouncing around the back seats of cars unsecured, so, while not ideal, it’s nothing to berate yourself over.
    The only thing that sticks out for me is when a friend and I went to the store with my two-week old son in the back seat. We arrived, parked, got out of the car and locked it and started to walk away. We got all the way to the front door before my friend, not I, the mother, MY FRIEND, said, “OMG, the baby!” and we ran back to the car. :( I shudder to think what would’ve happened if she hadn’t been with me. I’d like to think I’d have remembered him. In my defense, he was kid #2 and it was so early on (and I was so tired) I just wasn’t used to taking care of two. I was still in one kid mode, and my “one” kid was at home with her father. I guess my subconscious knew this and forgot that wasn’t the extent of my responsibilities!

  42. Mary Nov 06 at 11:50 am Reply Reply

    Incidentally I should mention that Forgotten Baby is now 6 years old and is still, currently, living, so no harm, no foul. I’ve redeemed myself, I think! Also he has a younger (2yo) sister and I never once forgot her anywhere, which is odd, as I had a lot less sleep when she was a baby than when either of the other two were that age. I think the experience made me extra-vigilant….I still to this day check the back seat for kids even when I know I don’t have any with me.
    And the wrong-name thing – I’m so totally guilty of that, myself. With my first I didn’t have any other kids, myself, to mix up their names, so, instead, I kept wanting to call her the name of an online friend’s baby, who was born just a few days before. With my second, the boy, I just plain couldn’t remember his name. I’d literally have to stop and think about it for a second before I said it, to make sure I was getting it right. Never had a problem with the third one, though – maybe because her name is my favorite out of the three?

  43. Hannah Nov 06 at 12:34 pm Reply Reply

    Let’s see – when I took my first son to the doctor five days postpartum for his well-baby check, I forgot the diaper bag; wasn’t wearing a nursing bra and my milk came while in the doctor’s office, spattering my feet and causing the doctor to frown with concern; burst into tears in the pharmacy because I was supposed to buy vitamin D supplements for the baby and couldn’t find them where I thought they should be; then when I got home and the baby wouldn’t stop crying, I sobbed (again) convinced that I was a horrible mother… until I realized he was just wet.
    He’s four and a half now. I want to know when my brain will come back. Anyone?

  44. cee Nov 06 at 12:36 pm Reply Reply

    dcfullest, THANK YOU! I just went and retrieved my insurance card from the prescription bag in trash! Without your story reminding me, I would have thrown it away!

  45. Laura Nov 06 at 12:43 pm Reply Reply

    Called my husband while he was working late to tell him I couldn’t get our toddler to stop crying and go back to sleep. When he arrived home 10 minutes later and asked where the boy was – I handed him our sleeping newborn daughter and went back to sleep.
    I had apparently dreamed the whole toddler freak-out thing and called him while still half asleep.

  46. Breanna Nov 06 at 1:35 pm Reply Reply

    Threw the diaper in the washer and the laundry in the garbage can! Oh and my husband locked me and 3 day old newborn out of the house (we were on the back deck.) I had no shoes or keys… very very bad!

  47. megs Nov 06 at 1:59 pm Reply Reply

    @Sarah: It’s been over 4 months since the baby every slept in bed with us, and I wake up EVERY SINGLE NIGHT frantically searching for him and yelling at my partner to HELP! WHERE IS HE?! FIIIIIIIND HIM! While he slept with us, did I ever, even once, wake up thinking I had lost/rolled over/suffocated him? Nope. Not once. I never had any worries about his safety in bed with us (beyond initial precautions) until he had long been in the crib in another room. Wtf?
    The first time we left the house with the baby (for a trip to Target) we took nearly an hour to get everyone ready, then left the diaper bag at home. While at Target we were HYSTERICAL like, “what if he needs a diaper change?!?!” as if, you know, we could just buy diapers and wipes at effing Target, which was partly why we were there in the first place. Oy.
    Now, at 8 months, we never use the diaper bag. I go on errands without more than a single diaper shoved into my messenger bag, because whatever happens won’t be that bad, even if he ends up in a single diaper wrapped in a blanket, it won’t be that bad.

  48. CJ Nov 06 at 2:58 pm Reply Reply

    Put the diaper on the outside of my son’s clothes, then didn’t notice until I was carrying him around and why are his legs wet ewwwwwwwwww.
    Woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t remember if I’d really had the baby or if I dreamed it and was still pregnant. Lay there for a few minutes before I realized that a) I could feel my stomach and there was no baby in it, and b) he was sleeping right next to me.

  49. Dona Nov 06 at 6:02 pm Reply Reply

    I love it when parts of my life crash together like this post did.
    1) the fog photo by James Jordan: I’ve been reading his blog for as long as I’ve been reading Amy’s blog. He’s from my hometown (where I was born) Amy lives in the town I live now.
    2) That photo is what I have for my cellphone wallpaper.
    Oh, sorry. This is all about being sleep-deprived after having a baby. Yeah — I was there a long time ago. It sucked.

  50. mfick Nov 06 at 6:33 pm Reply Reply

    Loaded a kindergartener, a six-week old hunry baby, stroller, and daughters wheelchair (she has spina bifida) into trunk, left my purse sitting on the ground while I loaded things up. Got in, BACKED over my purse and sat in the car bitching about the potholes in the brand new parking lot. Then drove forward and DROVE over my purse in the effort to see what I had backed over. Thank god my cell phone was in the car!

  51. Kristina Nov 06 at 7:54 pm Reply Reply

    Lightbulb burned out in our vanity in the bathroom. I replaced the lightbulb but it still didn’t work. Called electrician thinking it was an electrical problem. Nope, I had replaced the old lightbulb with one that was bad too so I called a professional to CHANGE A LIGHTBULB.

  52. Muirnait Nov 06 at 9:54 pm Reply Reply

    Sleep dep will mess.you.up. The end :P

  53. Suzanne Nov 06 at 11:30 pm Reply Reply

    I designed and ordered 100 beautiful birth announcements a week after I gave birth…and when they arrived I realized I had entered the wrong date. Luckily the company sent me a new set.
    There have been SEVERAL shopping trips that ended when I realized my wallet was in my diaper bag and I only had my purse, or vice versa. I’ve become an expert at putting stuff back, but still feel like a fool every time I do.

  54. Suzanne Nov 06 at 11:42 pm Reply Reply

    Liz M. – Great, now I’m going to have nightmares, since that is my BIGGEST FEAR. Every time I go somewhere, anywhere, without the baby I am terrified my husband (the only other person who watches him) will forget he’s babysitting and leave the house. I also double triple check to make sure *I* have the baby when I’m in the car, since I leave him sleeping in the swing while I go to the grocery store in my dreams almost every night.

  55. jen Nov 07 at 12:53 am Reply Reply

    we showed up at our first pediatric appt with our 3 day old son without a diaper bag! it was the first time we actually left the house with him and neither of us thought to grab it on the way out of the house. of course there was a gigantic poo in the diaper and when the dr said it ws ok to dress him again after the checkup i had to ask for a diaper. he assured me it happened a lot to new parents.

  56. jen Nov 07 at 12:55 am Reply Reply

    forgot this one about our newest baby boy (see how spacey motherhood makes me?). he was just a week or so old and sleeping in a bassinet next to my side of our bed. one night i was having what i thought was a dream about a screaming baby and was saying “i am so glad that is not MY crying baby and i don’t have to do a damn thing about it…” when my husband woke me up and handed me our screaming baby

  57. Alison Nov 07 at 10:01 pm Reply Reply

    I can’t believe I’m going to tell this. When my son was about two months old, I put the car in park in the driveway (or so I thought) and got out. I had actually put it in neutral and our driveway slants downward. I watched in horror as the car rolled backwards and could NOT think straight enough to jump in and stop it. I think I was trying to grab the car to make it stop at one point. Then the car rolled across the (thankfully empty) street and up onto the neighbor’s curb before gently stopping.
    My son never woke up. I put my head on the steering wheel and cried.
    ___________
    Editor: you poor thing.

  58. LD's Mom Nov 09 at 10:28 am Reply Reply

    My husband and I carpool to work and drop off our son on the way. One morning we drove a good ten minutes past the daycare turnoff before my husband asked me a question that caused me to turn to the backseat to look for something. At that point I saw the red diaper bag sitting on the seat and said, “Oh no, we forgot to leave the diaper bag at daycare.” A few seconds later as I looked farther to the left I said, “and the baby, too!” We couldn’t believe we both spaced it like that for that long. Needless to say, we were very late for work that day.

  59. Mel Nov 09 at 12:21 pm Reply Reply

    While nursing baby #2, I was wearing a lot of sundresses (it was summer and so easy to just pull dress down on the side doing the nursing). I finished up and put the baby down and went about my business at home, including letting in a/c repairmen, the sitter, etc. Yeah, I left the dress pulled down under my breast. Thank goodness I had latched the front of the bra back on. But anyone who saw me saw a woman in a sundress, with only one breast (albeit bra-covered) covered by the dress. Classy.

  60. Dee Nov 09 at 4:47 pm Reply Reply

    About 3 weeks in, I got a little hysterically weepy because I was convinced that I would never get another full night’s sleep until she went to college. I had absolutely forgotten that babies do eventually sleep through the night and besides that, they grow up to be children that sleep through the night.

  61. stacy Nov 16 at 12:36 pm Reply Reply

    Haven’t read through everything, but last week I forgot to pack any food for my 8 month old. No bottles, no solids. Uhhh… way to go mom! Also, today I forgot to bring my wallet to the grocery store and only realized it when I was checking out! Had to quickly drive home and back again… I’ve seem to had some rash of losing parking lot tickets, so I’ve had to pay the maximum daily rate of 50 bucks for a two hour park (aiieeee) and luckily the 2nd time it was at Ikea and they let me have a free ticket *phew*… seriously, I feel like my brain has gone to mush….

  62. stacy Nov 16 at 12:42 pm Reply Reply

    oh, and I left the trunk of the car open. Wide open while I was in the store shopping without my wallet. And it was raining.

  63. Sarah in Huntsville Nov 16 at 6:08 pm Reply Reply

    At the hospital, when I had to fill out the paperwork for my son’s birth certificate, I couldn’t remember how to spell MY OWN middle name.
    A few weeks later, I wrote his birth weight in his baby book as 16 lbs 10 oz, as opposed to 6 lbs 10 oz. And I didn’t notice until he was three months old.

  64. Meg in VT Nov 18 at 7:40 am Reply Reply

    OMG, this was so great to read!! Fabulous morning chuckle. I too had PANICKED moments the first 2 weeks thinking baby was in bed with us — does everyone do it? I thought I was losing my mind. Also the not-strapping-baby in carseat thing? Check. Actually never admitted to anyone; internet you are my sole witness on this! Thank god we didn’t get into an accident on the way home (I actually left my mom’s house, stopped at the store, shopped, and then came home, all with my tiny 4-week-old daughter just lying slumped in her car seat under a blanket). How much did I freak out (silently, guiltily) when I got home and discovered? Very much.

  65. sarah Dec 13 at 12:46 am Reply Reply

    My now 6mth old didn’t pass his hearing test @ the hospital, so when he was a week old we had to take him back to get the test done by a specialist. There was a lady who had to sign us in apparently , and I could not answer a single question she asked me.baby’s name? Ummm… date of birth? ummm…after like 5 questions she and my husband(who answered all the questions) started making fun of me!

  66. Anonymous Jan 07 at 5:01 pm Reply Reply

    About a week after being home, after an extended hospital stay, I was nursing in bed in the middle of the night. Got the baby latched and myself in a somewhat comfortable sitting position.
    I woke up in a panic two hours later, baby fine and still attached to the boob.

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