One, Two, Three, More?
You’ve had a baby! Congratulations. Now when are you having another one?
Photo by dollop
When Noah was five or six weeks old, my husband opened his mouth and spoke the most insane sentence in the history of the human race: I think we should have another baby.
WHAT. WHAT? Are you kidding me? We just HAD a baby. Do you remember that? Are you so sleep-deprived that you’re having time-traveling hallucinations? You know, AGAIN?
No, I didn’t say any of that. Instead, I said something equally as insane: Yeah, I think so too.
Of course, this didn’t translate into actual trying for another baby right away, but still. I was shocked that we felt so sure, so quickly. We’d always planned on having one baby, singular. I spent the majority of my pregnancy insisting that this was a one-time deal, that I was not going through this again. And then BOOM, he arrived and our world turned inside out and upside down and we were like little kids staggering away from the end of a wild roller coaster, barely waiting for the dizziness to die down before screaming AGAIN! AGAIN! and running back in line.
Since Ezra’s birth, a lot of our one-kid friends have asked us how we decided to have a second baby. The answer is really no different than how we decided to have the first baby: Our family was not complete without him.
(And this has NOTHING to do with any attitude about only children. We planned on an only child. There are many, many good things about being an only child. There are many, many good things about having a sibling. Or having multiple siblings. Or families deciding what’s best for them and their child/ren and everybody else shutting the hell up about it.)
This time, we’re admittedly a bit more conflicted. Three kids? THREE? That sounds exhausting. And expensive. Most days, I think I would be more than fine with keeping our family as-is, and there are many smart, practical reasons that would make that a smart, practical decision.
Some days, though. I’m not sure I’m ready to say never again. The best I can say right is: Not yet.
What about you? Did you have a preordained family size all mapped out? Did you ultimately stick with that family size? Or did you have to adjust your plans (say for, infertility or multiples or something else outside of your control)? Are you done? Not done? Not even ready to start thinking about the question, crazy columnist lady, oh my God?
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