I, on the Other Hand, Proudly Make the Rockin’ World Go Round



Is there any undergarment that can be worn under swimwear ’cause everytime I lose weight…..there goes the butt!
Butless & Desperate

In case you ever wondered: Why yes, I DO get some rather strange questions sometimes.
This was one of those questions I read and immediately filed in the HELL IF I KNOW pile, because…well. The hell if I know. I do not suffer from this particular affliction.
Then one day I was reading some educational material (okay fine, Us Weekly) and lo and behold, in that advertising spread near the back? The Shop-a-Thon? With all the goofy t-shirts and brand-name knock-offs?
An advertisement for a low-rise padded panty. Ta-da!
In the realm of padded underwear, I believe this is about as small as you’re gonna find. (Translation: there’s nothing that will fit under a teeny string bikini bottom.) That same site has an entire line of hip and butt-enhancing undergarments, but they’re more your typical big-ass girdle styles (if you may pardon my pun). None of them are specifically designed for bathing suits, but since it’s made of spandex I imagine it would do okay in water.
I tried a cursory Google search out of curiousity, but…well…apparently “padded butt” is a popular keyword among adult diapering sites, and I am not talking Depends, and now I need to go take another shower.
So there you go. Never let it be said that I don’t at least try to take every question I receive seriously.
(Although it probably could be said that I save the weirder ones for holiday weekends so I can get away with a really short column. Happy Memorial Day, everybody!)

About the author

Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy's daily mothering adventures at Amalah. Also, it's pronounced AIM-ah-lah.

If there is a question you would like answered on the Advice Smackdown, please submit it to

Amy also documented her second pregnancy (with Ezra) in our wildly popular Weekly Pregnancy Calendar, Zero to Forty.

Amy is mother to rising first-grader Noah, preschooler Ezra, and toddler Ike.

Subscribe to posts by Amalah

2 Responses to “I, on the Other Hand, Proudly Make the Rockin’ World Go Round”

  1. nicshtik May 29 at 10:16 am Reply Reply

    Ok, I think I am first. And- HAH! Never would have thunk, thouhg i could probably use those too

  2. Isabel May 29 at 2:09 pm Reply Reply

    I’ve seen tops to wear under your suits to make them more modest. I figure if you’re that worried, then maybe you should stay away from swimming suits all together.
    But what do I know?!

Like us on Facebook