How to survive being the only female in the house
By Heidi Davis
Being a mother to four boys, wife to one husband and owner of one male dog has taught me quite a few things about boys. Yes, I had a brother. No, I was not prepared for so many boys in one household. It is very different, a bit scary and lots of fun.
Yours not theirs. Understand there are definitely differences between girls and boys. Boys do things to each other that girls would never even think of. (And vice versa.) Boys find wrestling fun. Everything is a competition. The more inappropriate the action, the better. Seriously, if you think you can keep boys from farting on each other, YOU. ARE. WRONG. Give up and laugh with them. From whom do you think those frat boys learned to burp the alphabet? Their brothers.
2. Protect Thy Bathroom
Buy a plunger. Or two. It starts with superheroes flushed down the toilet, or maybe matchbox cars. It evolves from there. Teach your boys to clean the bathroom. Seriously. They can clean a toilet at about six years old with some disinfecting wipes and a pretreated toilet brush. Don’t forget to teach them to clean the OUTSIDE of the toilet. And the floor around it. Not that you could forget after seeing the wall next to the toilet with drip marks on it. Remind the boys not to flush the wipes or you will be needing that plunger again. And possibly your local Roto-Rooter guy on speed dial.
3. Buy Lots of Food
Once boys move past living on air and goldfish during their toddler years they start eating, a lot. A teenage boy can eat a dinner for four adults in one sitting and then ask for dessert. Ten minutes later you will find him wandering the kitchen looking for something else to eat. There is a constant search for food to eat.
4. Make Sure your Family has Good Health Insurance.
You may think this is a bit sexist as girls can be rough and tumble too. I am a huge klutz as one of the boys pointed out to his brother the other night. And, I have had my fair share of hospital visits. BUT, I in no way compare to my boys. They are not clumsy like their mother, and yet we’ve done stitches, several broken fingers, a bleeding eyeball, a scratched cornea and various less serious injuries.
5. Learn to Replace Window Panes.
Or install Plexiglas. When we first bought our house ages ago I didn’t understand why so many of the storm and interior windows were of Plexiglas. Now I know. The previous owners raised five kids, four of them boys. We average one broken window per year. Luckily, most of them in the garage. And, yes, we have managed to break the Plexiglas too.