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How to survive being the only female in the house

By Guest Contributor

By Heidi Davis

Being a mother to four boys, wife to one husband and owner of one male dog has taught me quite a few things about boys. Yes, I had a brother. No, I was not prepared for so many boys in one household. It is very different, a bit scary and lots of fun.

Guide to Everything Archives1. Adjust the Attitude

Yours not theirs. Understand there are definitely differences between girls and boys. Boys do things to each other that girls would never even think of. (And vice versa.) Boys find wrestling fun. Everything is a competition. The more inappropriate the action, the better. Seriously, if you think you can keep boys from farting on each other, YOU. ARE. WRONG. Give up and laugh with them. From whom do you think those frat boys learned to burp the alphabet? Their brothers.

2. Protect Thy Bathroom

Buy a plunger. Or two. It starts with superheroes flushed down the toilet, or maybe matchbox cars. It evolves from there. Teach your boys to clean the bathroom. Seriously. They can clean a toilet at about six years old with some disinfecting wipes and a pretreated toilet brush. Don’t forget to teach them to clean the OUTSIDE of the toilet. And the floor around it. Not that you could forget after seeing the wall next to the toilet with drip marks on it. Remind the boys not to flush the wipes or you will be needing that plunger again. And possibly your local Roto-Rooter guy on speed dial.

3. Buy Lots of Food

Once boys move past living on air and goldfish during their toddler years they start eating, a lot. A teenage boy can eat a dinner for four adults in one sitting and then ask for dessert. Ten minutes later you will find him wandering the kitchen looking for something else to eat. There is a constant search for food to eat.

4. Make Sure your Family has Good Health Insurance.

You may think this is a bit sexist as girls can be rough and tumble too. I am a huge klutz as one of the boys pointed out to his brother the other night. And, I have had my fair share of hospital visits. BUT, I in no way compare to my boys. They are not clumsy like their mother, and yet we’ve done stitches, several broken fingers, a bleeding eyeball, a scratched cornea and various less serious injuries.

5. Learn to Replace Window Panes.

Or install Plexiglas. When we first bought our house ages ago I didn’t understand why so many of the storm and interior windows were of Plexiglas. Now I know. The previous owners raised five kids, four of them boys. We average one broken window per year. Luckily, most of them in the garage. And, yes, we have managed to break the Plexiglas too.

Guest Contributor
About the Author

Guest Contributor

We often publish pieces by guest contributors. If you’re interested in being one, please drop us a line at contact[at]alphamom[dot]com.


We often publish pieces by guest contributors. If you’re interested in being one, please drop us a line at contact[at]alphamom[dot]com.

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  • Jennyth

    February 11, 2009 at 7:02 pm

    I would add an addedndum to #2. If you can establish one bathroom in the house as the boy’s only it will save your sanity…so long as you resolve to never go in their just as they should never go in yours.
    #1 is terrific. Once I figured out that when they get too rowdy, I can just go for a walk, I was much less frustrated with the chaos in my home.

  • Rebecca

    February 12, 2009 at 12:51 pm

    Great advice! While my son is only a month old, we’re well on our way to having a house full of boys. Husband, male dog, male cat, and my best friend has three boys of her own who frequent our house. Her oldest is 11, and the youngest of the four is her new born. #3 is already an issue with the two oldest. When the two infants get bigger I think they might all have to start getting jobs to pay for groceries!

  • heidi

    February 17, 2009 at 12:21 pm

    Jennyth – Oh how I wish I had a bathroom to designate to the boys. Or one of my own. Definitely on this moms wish list.
    Rebecca- Ack, 11 seems to be when the non-stop eating begins. You however have a little time. You just have to make it through the anxiety of the air and goldfish stage.

  • Jo

    March 5, 2009 at 1:46 am

    Tee hee! This made me giggle. Luckily my house is full of girls, but my hubby (the lone male) makes enough of a mess so I can somewhat empathize!!!
    Thanks for the laugh – I really needed it today!

  • Amy

    March 28, 2009 at 10:36 am

    Well put – and all true! I have three boys (four counting my hubby) and can totally relate! I still try to break up wrestling – only because I’m afraid of something getting broken! And I never venture into their rooms unless I must – way too smelly for me!!

  • Meredith

    April 24, 2009 at 12:39 am

    I am a mom to an 8 year-old boy and a 6 year-old girl, and I am continually surprised by my son’s interest in whacking things. He can go outside with a stick and whack things (the fence, trees, bugs, his sister) for HOURS. And, whenever he walks anywhere in the house, he whacks things as he walks by.
    Luckily for me, he manages to restrain himself at school – so no phone calls from the principal (yet).

  • Dawn

    February 21, 2016 at 12:21 pm

    Absolute Truth to all listed.  Mom of 6 boys, and husband.  Wish You’re gonna need a break from all this testosterone at some point.   Just remember a good glass of wine and a membership at Hand and Stone helps☺.