Sex After Baby: How to Get Back in the Saddle Again After Having a Baby
By Kristen Chase, author of Motherhood Uncensored and Mominatrix, a sex column for parents.
1. Take it Slow
Postpartum sex should not be approached like doing a cannonball into a cold pool. While you might be extremely horny, especially if you were one of the many pregnant women who would rather eat four gallons of ice cream than have sex, make sure that you’ve gotten the “okay” from your doctor. Childbirth is very much like running a marathon, and your body does need time to recover. So enjoy foreplay or run a few bases before sliding into home plate.
2. Return to Romance
While you might not have enough time to set up the candles and toss rose petals all over the bed, romance can be helpful in making your return to sex a bit more enjoyable. So definitely attempt to set the mood – whether it’s taking a warm bubble bath together, or changing into something other than postpartum underpants and a nursing bra. And some light music will help you get in the groove all while masking the sounds of either your smacking bodies or the baby’s screams.
3. Lube it Up
Chances are your postpartum private parts resemble the Sahara Desert these days, so before you decide to get it on, make sure to invest in some water-based lube. If you’re not a regular lube user, you might want to reacquaint yourself with it and get the high school giggles out of the way before engaging in passionate love-making. And stock up on towels. Or just use a few burp cloths. Same difference.
4. Take Control
Keep in mind that you very recently had a little human exit nether region so you can bet they’re going to be a bit sensitive. So put yourself in charge and choose positions that allow you to have control, thus making the experience enjoyable and successful. Once you’re feeling more comfortable, you can stretch your muscles (ahem) and enjoy a bit more flexibility.
5. Give Yourself Time
When it comes to getting back in the sack again after having a baby, there are absolutely no time specifications or rules of engagement. It comes down to you and your body being ready. So regardless of whether your gyno has taken you off the “disabled list,” it’s up to you to take the plunge. That means it could be three weeks or three months.Published January 5, 2009. Last updated March 27, 2018.