Prev Next

Sex After Baby: How to Get Back in the Saddle Again After Having a Baby

By Guest Contributor

By Kristen Chase, author of Motherhood Uncensored and Mominatrix, a sex column for parents.

1. Take it Slow

Postpartum sex should not be approached like doing a cannonball into a cold pool. While you might be extremely horny, especially if you were one of the many pregnant women who would rather eat four gallons of ice cream than have sex, make sure that you’ve gotten the “okay” from your doctor. Childbirth is very much like running a marathon, and your body does need time to recover. So enjoy foreplay or run a few bases before sliding into home plate.

2. Return to Romance

While you might not have enough time to set up the candles and toss rose petals all over the bed, romance can be helpful in making your return to sex a bit more enjoyable. So definitely attempt to set the mood – whether it’s taking a warm bubble bath together, or changing into something other than postpartum underpants and a nursing bra. And some light music will help you get in the groove all while masking the sounds of either your smacking bodies or the baby’s screams.

3. Lube it Up

Chances are your postpartum private parts resemble the Sahara Desert these days, so before you decide to get it on, make sure to invest in some water-based lube. If you’re not a regular lube user, you might want to reacquaint yourself with it and get the high school giggles out of the way before engaging in passionate love-making. And stock up on towels. Or just use a few burp cloths. Same difference.

4. Take Control

Keep in mind that you very recently had a little human exit nether region so you can bet they’re going to be a bit sensitive. So put yourself in charge and choose positions that allow you to have control, thus making the experience enjoyable and successful. Once you’re feeling more comfortable, you can stretch your muscles (ahem) and enjoy a bit more flexibility.

5. Give Yourself Time

When it comes to getting back in the sack again after having a baby, there are absolutely no time specifications or rules of engagement. It comes down to you and your body being ready. So regardless of whether your gyno has taken you off the “disabled list,” it’s up to you to take the plunge. That means it could be three weeks or three months.

Guest Contributor
About the Author

Guest Contributor

We often publish pieces by guest contributors. If you’re interested in being one, please drop us a line at contact[at]alphamom[dot]com.


We often publish pieces by guest contributors. If you’re interested in being one, please drop us a line at contact[at]alphamom[dot]com.

icon icon
chat bubble icon


newest oldest most voted
Notify of

Great tips as always, Kristen. I’ll add to not give up if things don’t work at first. I felt ready to have sex again around 3 months postpartum, but our first few tries were horrible. Despite lube and setting, it hurt so much we had to stop, and I wondered if I’d ever be able to have sex again.
It wasn’t until 6 months postpartum that everything started to “work” again and then it was actually better than ever. Some women bounce back faster, some slower.

allison riches
allison riches

When I read the ‘get back in the saddle’ article, i was hoping for more. I’ve had 2 children in close succession, and what I recommend is literally getting in the saddle. My floor has never been so tight since I purchased and started exercising my horse. I use muscles which I swear don’t have online search engines, so god only knows how a bloke is supposed to find and ‘repair’ them…. I was cabable of signing cheques witha clenched biro after just 2 months of the ‘Katherine Flapps Floor Restore’. Its fun, its exhilirating, it rebuilds confidence, it redefines… Read more »


Our son is 2 now and I still just dont want it. Its not that I dont want him. I dont want anyone. Can you give me some advice??