How To Deal With A Talkative Child Before You’ve Had Caffeine
1. Make your partner do it.
If your schedule allows, alternate with your partner who gets up with the kid. That way at least half of the week you will have an opportunity to stretch, brush your teeth, and maybe sneak in a cup of coffee before you have to engage with your super chatty kid. Or if you’re like me, you stay in bed just a bit longer so by the time you face your child, said child has wound down a bit.
2. Stay in bed.
If your child is either in a crib or safe in his or her room, stay in bed until that first burst of chipper, happy observation of everything has passed. That way, the stuffed animals nearby will get the bulk of the morning monologue, and you can slowly wake up in the other room while listening to the happy murmur. Once the talking begins to slow down a bit, only then head on in to the kid’s room and get the day started.
3. Use Ear Plugs.
If you are like me and have a husband that snores loudly enough to wake the dead, you might also wear earplugs. When it’s my turn to get up with the kiddo, I often leave the earplugs in and just nod my head and smile while she lights into her litany of what animal slept with her and what color the walls are and why, yes, that IS Hello Kitty on her pajamas. Once we get downstairs, I take them out, and start in on the caffeine.
4. Quit caffeine.
If you aren’t addicted to caffeine, you wake up more alert and with your tush firmly attached to your body, not dragging behind you in your wake. Ha! Who am I kidding? What a silly idea.
5. Grin and bear it.
I wish I had better advice, but some days, you just have to tolerate it. Little kids brains grow at the astonishing rate of 250,000 cells a minute and part of that growth involves their language centers. When they wake up in the morning, they’ve usually had a lovely ten to twelve hours of sleep, and so naturally they feel quite well rested and happy and eager to share their joy with the world. Sadly, we adults count ourselves lucky to get six hours of sleep a night and, you know, we’re OLD, so our brains don’t have that same lovely flare of happy energy first thing in the morning. So, the only way to deal with it is just enjoy it while the coffee brews.