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Toddler Boob Grabbing? Yes, It's a Thing.

Toddler Boob Grabbing? Yes, It’s a Thing.

By Amalah

Amy,

I have searched the Internet and haven’t found a similar scenario with an answer so I’m hoping you experienced this or know something more than I do. I breastfed my 16 month old daughter until she was about 10 months, she weaned herself.

In the last few months, she’s started pushing on my boobs when I’m holding her. It’s almost like she likes to push on them to see how they feel. She doesn’t reach into my shirt but she does openly push on/touch my boobs no matter where we are. She’s also done it to others who hold her but she usually stops shortly after starting because theirs are not the same (I’m very well endowed which might make a difference). Is this normal? Is this just a phase or should I be doing something to get her to stop?

Thanks,
Touched

Eh, sounds like pretty normal curiosity to me. Combined with her just sort of liking how your boobs feel, in a normal, non-sexual, “toddlers like soft round squishy things” way.

Kids pick up pretty early on that adult bodies are different and are naturally curious about the differences. I’ve always treated the curiosity as matter-of-factly as possible — real names for body parts, boys and men are different, boys and girls are different, girls and women are different too. My kids have all walked in on me changing or getting out of the shower and I’ve found the best way to Not Make It A Thing is to…well, not make it a thing. I don’t panic and hide and shoo them away, I just calmly continue and cover up, addressing any questions and ignoring the fact that a toddler just poked/grabbed my butt or boobs when I bent over.

If they idly grab my breasts while I’m holding them (always in a “these feel different than anything on my body and are nice and soft” way), I treat it the way I treat any unwanted grabbiness. Think hair-pulling, pinching or some other annoying thing toddlers’ little hands and fingers can do. Once she starts manhandling your breasts, calmly take her hand and move it elsewhere. Say no thank you, that hurts. Give her something else to hold that will keep her little hands occupied.

It’s perfectly understandable that YOU find this habit to be awkward/embarrassing, and yeah, you don’t want it to go on long enough that your boobs become some kind of ever-present lovey or comfort object to her. I’d just recommend helping her break it fairly gently, distracting her with something else as opposed to making boobs become a whole mysterious, off-limits THING. Her curiosity is normal and will likely pass in time. In the meantime, keep your diaper bag stocked with some more socially acceptable toddler playthings and loveys for her to hold and squeeze.

Amalah
About the Author

Amy Corbett Storch

Amalah

Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy’s daily mothering adventures at Ama...

Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy’s daily mothering adventures at Amalah. Also, it’s pronounced AIM-ah-lah.

If there is a question you would like answered on the Advice Smackdown, please submit it to amyadvice@gmail.com.

Amy also documented her second pregnancy (with Ezra) in our wildly popular Weekly Pregnancy Calendar, Zero to Forty.

Amy is mother to rising first-grader Noah, preschooler Ezra, and toddler Ike.

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