Things I Never Knew I’d Say
At some point while wasting time on the Internet instead of being a productive human being, I came across Nathan Ripperger’s hilarious illustrations of things he’s said to his kids. Now, apparently Ripperger is an illustrator, so his skills are evident, and of course small children inspire us to say all sorts of bizarre things because they are bizarre little creatures.
My illustration skills are poor, so perhaps I should reach out to someone with actual chops for collaboration on a teen series. More and more often, though, I’m realizing that the “weird stuff I find myself saying” hasn’t abated as my children have aged. In fact, stuff is just getting weirder. So I thought I’d try my hand at a similar series. (My apologies to Mr. Ripperger in advance. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, you know.)
When trying to coax my teen to hang out at home with pals:
When wondering when my car became communal property:
When I’ve made a terrible mistake:
When the appreciation for my efforts to nourish my family is just overwhelming:
When evenings get a little raucous:
I could keep going, I suppose, and maybe I could even convince you that my illustrations are… ummm… stylized. (Yeah, that’s it.) Entertain me, will you? What have you found yourself saying to your teen that seemed perfectly logical as it left your mouth but the fact that it seemed logical made you realize exactly how weird life really is?Published October 27, 2015. Last updated July 24, 2017.