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No Children Allowed

No Children Allowed?

By Chris Jordan

No Children Allowed

More and more places have decided they don’t want to have children as customers.  This applies to restaurants, airlines, stores, movie theaters.  Many parents are outraged.  They blame intolerant childless people.  They blame society as whole who they say no longer value children.  They don’t understand how other people would not find their child as precious as they do.

But you know what?  I don’t find other people’s misbehaving children endearing at all.  I am not childless.  As a mother of seven children I fully support these type of bans.

Here is a newsflash, if people parented their kids there would be no reason for places to ban kids completely.

*****

We have seen a lot of movies this summer. Probably more than we have in the past two years combined. (It’s been a long, hot summer in Austin.)

A few weeks ago we were watching the previews, you have to get there in time to watch the previews, all of them, according to my children, when a family came in and sat right across the aisle from us. Two parents and two kids, one about 5 years old and the other about 12- 15 months old. I thought it was odd that they chose to bring a 12-15 month old to the movie theater, since in my parenting experience not one of my children could sit through a movie at that age. But they must know their kid, right? They must know that their kid will sit through a long movie in a darkened theater. Otherwise they wouldn’t have brought her, right?

Yeah.

The movie had not even started when the kid began screeching to get out of the confines of her mother’s lap. Her mother put her down where she proceeded to run up and down the aisle, while both parents sat in their seats and ignored her. Surely once the movie begins they won’t allow this, I thought.

Except that once the movie began it was even worse, because the little girl now wanted one of her parents to walk up and down the aisle with her. And so her parents took turns walking her up and down the aisle, only stopping to try and make her sit down. Where she would scream. They did this for the entire movie.

I wanted to stop them and ask if they were enjoying themselves. I can’t imagine that they were. I wanted to ask them why they didn’t take the girl out of the theater when they realized she wasn’t going to watch the movie.

These people are the reason so many places have enacted policies barring kids from their establishments.

I think we may start attending movies at the Alamo Draft House. They forbid children under six from attending movies at all. They also enforce very strict no talking, no cellphone use/no texting during movies.  Have you seen this video?  It’s a phone call they received by a woman complaining about how she was thrown out of their theater for texting.  It is hysterical and definitely not for watching at work or around your children.

I am going to go out on a limb here where everyone will probably hate me, but if your kid can’t behave appropriately for the place you are bringing him, then you shouldn’t be bringing him. If you know your child can’t be quiet and sit in a chair at a fancy restaurant, then don’t bring him. I don’t care if it is your grandmother’s 90th birthday.  Go some place that is child friendly, but remember just because it might be loud and have a children’s menu, and cups with lids, you still have to parent.  No one thinks your child standing on her chair and singing is cute.  No one thinks your child running around and dancing between tables is adorable.  And no one thinks that your child yelling and screaming is enjoyable.

We were at a restaurant recently where the waitstaff kept commenting how well behaved my children were being. It surprised me because at 6, 8, and 10 years old I thought they were just acting normal. After the fourth or fifth time I finally asked what my kids were doing that was out of the ordinary.  Oh boy, I got an earful.  They were not stories of babies crying, or even toddlers screaming.  They were not stories about parents having to apologetically leave the restaurant and take their food to go. They were all stories about kids running wild while the parents did nothing.

So really, the bans are not about keeping children out. They are about keeping out parents who refuse to parent.  And how can anyone be against that?

* Photo Source

Chris Jordan
About the Author

Chris Jordan

Chris Jordan began blogging at Notes From the Trenches in 2004 where she wrote about her life raising her children in Austin, Texas.

Oh, she has seven of them. Yes, children. Yes, they...

Chris Jordan began blogging at Notes From the Trenches in 2004 where she wrote about her life raising her children in Austin, Texas.

Oh, she has seven of them. Yes, children.
Yes, they are all hers.
No she’s not Catholic or Mormon. Though she wouldn’t mind having a sister-wife because holy hell the laundry never stops.
Yes, she finally figured out what causes it. That’s why her youngest is a teen now.
Yes, she has a television.

She enjoys referring to herself in the third person.

 

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Wiley
Guest

Another nice feature of the Drafthouse is that they allow kids 3 and up for many kid features during daytime hours. My son was tall and we may have taken him in starting at 2.5. He does well and I think he does better it being the drafthouse, because there are the additional features of food and their is space between your seat and table so he can stand directly in front of his seat.

Melani
Guest
Melani

I’m with you–I have two children and fully support businesses banning children.  It blows my mind how many people let their kids run wild.  I honestly can’t remember the last meal out we’ve gone to without hearing some child screaming. I also wish we had a theater like the Alamo Draft House near us–I would go to movies more often.  I can’t remember the last time when I went to a movie and just watched the movie rather than listening to adults have regular voice conversations, babies crying in the 8 o’clock showing of Harry Potter (that was last night)… Read more »

Talia
Guest
Talia

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We recently took our two year old to see the new Winnie the Pooh movie and was mortified by the behavior of a mother and her daughter in the theater. The two of them sat there and talked through the entire movie, About half way through the movie the little girl started running up and down the isle and yelling. The mom didn’t do a thing. At the end of the movie she started looking around trying to find her daughter. It was absolutely ridiculous. My kid gets one switch to each parent’s lap and then it’s out of… Read more »

Canuck (Canadian) Person
Guest
Canuck (Canadian) Person

If cinemas officials were notified about that girl creating a racket and her inconsiderate mom doing nothing about it that kid and her mother should have been booted out of the cinema so if it came to that I’ll admit that her mom is more to blame than her daughter.

Heather
Guest

I totally agree. There have been a few times that I have had to get up and take one of the boys outside because they were misbehaving, and there have been many more times that I’ve recieved compliments on how my children. We don’t make idle threats in our house. People need to grow up and be parents.

Dawn K.
Guest
Dawn K.

I think this commentary probably covers many of the important points of this whole debate. I would never imagine bringing Ella (my 15 month old) to a movie, fancy restaurant, or poetry reading. I do feel, though, that she does have a place in a grocery store or somewhere casual like Chipotle. Will she sometimes run away from me down the aisles? Yes. Will I contain her to the cart for not listening? Yes. Do people get pissed when she’s vocal in a cheerful manner or they get slowed down by me trying to juggle groceries and not letting my… Read more »

suziejd
Guest

It’s unfortunate, though.  An outright ban punishes those who do parent along with those who do not. It keeps those of us who would say “this doesn’t work” and LEAVE from being able to make that choice. Nevertheless, now that my kids are 13 and 15, I will be thrilled to hear less screeching and yelling. It happened to us at a restaurant just tonight, and it wasn’t enjoyable.  Even though I knew that the parents were tired and just wanted some food without the clean up (just like I did) – I still didn’t want a screaming child a… Read more »

Meg
Guest

This is a great article.  I think Dawn K. above also hits the nail on the head as well.  I can remember 10 short months ago before my son was born.  We used to go to nicer restaurants and yes, I did get annoyed if someone had a loud toddler disturbing everyone.  On the other hand if we went to a casual burger joint I accepted the fact that kids are kids and this is a kid friendly establishment.  Parents need to accept that they are now parents and make some changes in their lifestyles, such as choosing kid friendly… Read more »

Robyn
Guest
Robyn

Bravo – what a great post!

Mary Kay
Guest
Mary Kay

As a parent of 2 kids who are generally well behaved, I don’t like the universal ban of “no children.” But as one of many who have experienced the misbehaving child and the parent who isn’t parenting, I understand it. When I can, I try to think of something I can do to help a parent who may just be at their wit’s end. Last summer, a child on an airplane was so naughty that the copilot had to speak to him. The mom seemed like a novice traveler who had no idea what to do. When I gave her… Read more »

Jennifer
Guest
Jennifer

I work as a cashier at a local grocery store and the simple things I say to children is mindnumbing sometimes, parents need to leave their phones alone or realize that they need to multi task. Talk to me and keep one eye on their kid. “Don’t climb on my till please.” “Don’t put your mouth on the side its really dirty.” “Your child is running for the door by the way.” My all time favourite is “your child is eating a chocolate bar in the next till if your looking for them. (the parent started to do a frantic… Read more »

cst
Guest
cst

You say we should be parenting our children, but you might as well say we should be controlling them. You also mention the importance of them behaving appropriately, which I’m guessing means they should act like adults? Even adults don’t do that. Those seem like unrealistic requests of young children, and I don’t think that the way to teach them how to act in certain situations is to keep them away. My kids are very little, and we often get the compliment that they’re “so well behaved.” I don’t like it, frankly, because it means, “Thanks for keeping your kids… Read more »

lolsuz
Guest
lolsuz

@cst: “What business is it of yours whether the parents were enjoying themselves walking their baby up and down the stairs?” Um, it’s their business because the noise and distraction ruined their ability to focus on the movie they paid good money to see? How can you not understand something so simple? You say “What kind of message would that send to my child?” to remove them from a public setting when they’re being disruptive. The message is simple: “We share this space with others so it’s not just about us and our needs.” That’s the bare MINIMUM of being… Read more »

Happily Spawn Free
Guest
Happily Spawn Free

Wow, you, as the parent, are the reason restaurants and other public places no longer tolerate your kids. Control is what these spawns need. If an adult stood on chairs, started singing, screaming running around, etc. he/she would be kicked out and in some cases banned from returning. Ever stop to wonder why more and more people cringe, roll their eyes and sign in frustration when they see children?? The skill of parenting has been lost and now we are faced with a new generation of spoiled, entitled and undisciplined people…I happily support any venue that bans kids under the… Read more »

Toni
Guest
Toni

Chair-standing and running around restaurants are forbidden not only because they are annoying but because they are UNSAFE.

Canuck (Canadian) Person
Guest
Canuck (Canadian) Person

CST I’m a little confused so either you condone kids’ annoying behavior or you don’t and if you ever become a parent and if your hypothetical kid(s) are a handful (whether it’s your fault or not) and whatever you do don’t force nor expect everyone to be “big” on you kid(s) nor should you force nor expect everyone to “bend over backwards” to be nice to your kids.

getagrip
Guest
getagrip

just because children don’t annoy you (extremely rare) doesn’t mean that other people should be subject to abuse or assault by you or your children.

abuse of their right to enjoy their lives and assault of their environment with unacceptable levels of noise or being touched by someone else’s child who they refuse to parent in a responsible way.

Sue
Guest
Sue

You are SO blind. People nowdays dont get very much time to stop and smell the roses and enjoy their time with each other. The LAST thing I want to hear and see are your screeching kids running a muck in a place where I am paying good money for enjoyment. You need to figure out what your kids need on your OWN time, not mine, and you know what your child needs at that moment to avoid that behavior?? A good swift kick in the rear end! I raised my kid properly and not at the expense of others.… Read more »

fran
Guest
fran

@CT I do happen to think that chair-standing or running/dancing children in restaurants are quite cute. This is not ‘CUTE’ yes this is age appropriate child behaviour, but in totally the wrong context. By taking a child who cannot sit still, cannot manage their behaviour and cannot survive half an hour without attention seeking from strangers into an environment that requires that before they can you are setting them up to fail socially with others who do not know them the way that you know them. Children are not to blame for climbing, running and shouting when you have given… Read more »

M.
Guest
M.

@cst I see your point, though “a child being a child” can mean different things to different people. If a child is making a scene/screaming and making it impossible for anyone present to enjoy their meal/movie/special occasion, I think it is the parent’s resposibility to take care of the child’s needs WHILE also respecting the needs of other people present. Children need to be given limits early on, and those who are not, end up being the teenagers kicking your seat. And of course it’s not really anyone’s business whether the parents at the movie theater enjoyed themselves. Obviously, they… Read more »

Nicole in Paris
Guest

@CST I was so very heartened after reading your response.  I actually live in France where apparently these other commenters would be very happy.  French children are very, very well behaved generally speaking.  But at what cost?  They are barely allowed to speak above a whisper, never allowed to interact with others for fear of disturbing them and definitely NOT touching anything, ever.  //NEW PARA// For example, we were at Ikea, a toddler/child friendly place where my young one was gleefully exploring the store.When she picked up one of the (breakable) display items, I bent down and asked her what… Read more »

Katy
Guest
Katy

Is it going to take a scalding hot skillet of fajitas to be dropped on a child’s head to keep them from running free in a restaurant?  I used to work in a coffee shop and held my breath too many times while children bashed into other customers with big hot cups of coffee, nearly spilling on them.  And parents chatted away without a glance at their kids.   I think it’s going to take other parents and people in general to stop pussyfooting around these irresponsible parents.  Call it what it is and embarrass them into proper parenting.  Americans need to… Read more »

blackhuff
Guest

You said it out loud which no one really wants to because they are afraid of getting thrown by stones.
You are SO RIGHT in saying that bans are for children who’s parents don’t parent but then also, you get people who have children which does come forth as “not behaved” and then they actually have a medical condition like ADHD or ADD or whatever. This then restaurants see as “naughty children” which is wrong. 
There’s a fine line when discussing this and also discipline. 

VG
Guest
VG

For a mother of SEVEN to agree is saying ALOT! I agree with bans. Does it suck that my family gets lumped in when my child behaves? Yes, but I understand WHY. Look @ the changes that have happened during the holiday season. You can’t say Merry Christmas, but you sure as hell got to give recognition to those who celebrate hanukkah & kwanza. This country we live in is turing our children into tolerant wussies, and it starts with the PARENTS! Just be a parent and keep on truckin’!!

kellyhere
Guest
kellyhere

There’s something a little intolerant about the tone of this article – like, look at all those bad, stupid parents mucking it up for the rest of us. None of us is parenting perfectly, and you know, kids are a part of life. Kids are sort of socially inappropriate by nature, aren’t they? But that doesn’t mean that they should be cloistered away into strictly child-friendly, child-supported environments – I don’t think that’s good for anybody.   I certainly wasn’t born old, and can remember behaving badly in public and embarrassing my parents. Not a lot, but it happened, and… Read more »

Katie Taylor
Guest
Katie Taylor

Occasionally ok – but it’s not occasionally – – nowadays it’s all the time, given that many parents don’t believe they should curtail any of their activities to accommodate their kids’ natural limits, fussiness and fatigue, including going to rock shows, fancy restaurants, bars and probably Zen meditation centers. I’d be more likely to agree with you that kids should be joyfully accepted as a natural part of modern social life if I were allowed to say something to kids who are getting in my hair, the way I would say something to the smoker in the bus shelter or… Read more »

kellyhere
Guest
kellyhere

There’s something a little intolerant about the tone of this article – like, look at all those bad, stupid parents mucking it up for the rest of us. None of us is parenting perfectly, and you know, kids are a part of life. Kids are sort of socially inappropriate by nature, aren’t they? But that doesn’t mean that they should be cloistered away into strictly child-friendly, child-supported environments – I don’t think that’s good for anybody.   I certainly wasn’t born old, and can remember behaving badly in public and embarrassing my parents. Not a lot, but it happened, and… Read more »

J
Guest
J

I have no problem with businesses banning children.  If you disagree fundamentally then you have choices and can go to a different place.   Children are children.  Period.  They have to be told what to do or they will hurt themselves or act inappropriately in public.  Obviously you can’t control all children all of the time, it’s not constructive and it’s impossible but your job as a parent is to mold a functioning adult.  One day they will have to know that running around in a movie theater is not acceptable behavior, for a 3 year old or for a 50… Read more »

Tara
Guest
Tara

I don’t see the problem with the ban. I don’t want fury creatures in my home, I don’t care if they were just hit by a truck and need to be inside because it’s 20 below zero. That might really tick some of my animal rights activist friends off. Too bad, I’m seriously allergic… and even if I wasn’t… it is my house. I should have the same rights in my place of business. I should have the right to refuse anyone’s money based on something that may negatively affect me, my employees, or my business. On the other hand,… Read more »

Katie
Guest
Katie

Here! Here! Does it seem like this is more common now than it used to be? Even in my own family there are kids running wild destroying things while the parents do nothing.

Laura
Guest
Laura

I think people only see the misbehaving children because they stand out. All the children that are behaving aren’t noticed, so I don’t think *banning* children is a good move. I have no problems with establishments banning misbehaving children, but what percentage of children are actually misbehaving? It’s ageist–assuming children will misbehave simply because they are children. What if we noticed people of another race misbehaving? Would we generalize it to the entire race? Our country has been there, done that, and it doesn’t yield pretty results. Picking on people who have no means to fight back isn’t a good… Read more »

Emily
Guest
Emily

Laura, then you’re leaving it up to perspective and no one would enforce it. And definitely asking for more conflict and that conflict would be counterproductive to the ‘nice atmosphere’ the establishments are trying to create. I agree with the ‘ban’ personally. I have a 10month old and there are places I don’t take her and times of the day when I don’t take her to other places. I have asked for my food to be boxed up and left several times when my child was upset (teething – what can you do?) and it was possible that other people… Read more »

Julia
Guest

It’s important to bring children out into society so they learn how to behave. I take my daughter out to family-friendly restaurants early in the evening fairly often. And on the ONE occasion we realized this was a very bad idea, we packed up and left. When I go out with The Husband for a fancy meal, it’s usually later in the evening, after my toddler goes to bed. So after I have shelled out for a nice meal and paid a sitter and shaved my frickin’ legs and wore fancy shoes and left my kid at home, I’m am… Read more »

Melissa
Guest
Melissa

This last month I had to drive my oldest son to a town an hour away twice a week for a baseball clinic.  We usually ended up getting home late so it was easier to feed the kids in the other town before heading home.  We found a family friendly restaurant that had a good selection and it became our twice a week place the duration of his clinic.  The waitresses came to know us and were great.  Three different times we were approached by other patrons, mostly seniors, and complimented on how well behaved my three boys were. I was surprised every time especially… Read more »

Lori
Guest
Lori

As a mother of 6, I say Amen Sister!

edj
Guest

I both agree and disagree with you. (I hold all the views 😉 On the one hand, I can’t stand it when parents don’t parent, but instead allow their kids to run wild. The case you mentioned is actually mind-blowing, but I can think of others from my own experience. On the other hand, I do have an anecdote the other way. I have 3 kids, and usually when we took them out we got covered in compliments about how well behaved they were. But once, at a Starbucks, I was letting the twins (then 2 or 3) play in… Read more »

Anke
Guest

AMEN!!! I couldn’t agree with you more. it drives me completely nuts when parents don’t actually parent and let their kids run amok.

hennifer
Guest
hennifer

I am against it because it is punishing the majority for the crimes of the minority. I have heard the horror stories but I have rarely if ever seen that type of behavior and we are a busy, social family. As I always tell me kids before heading into an establishment “remember your personal space, everyone else here did not come to eat/watch movie/listen to music with you”. I think the bans take the place of what should be discussions with individuals and per your previous article us realizing that sometimes while uncomfortable we need to speak up when we… Read more »

Carrie
Guest
Carrie

I agree completely with what you said. I have five children and I know that taking them to certain places is completely out of the question. We actually did go to a nicer restaurant recently though and I was very happy with the way they behaved. If any of them had misbehaved I would have removed them from the restaurant as to not disturb the other patrons. It is just the way that it is when they are little kids. As a side note, I recently went to a movie. On the way out I saw a sign that stated… Read more »

Wookie
Guest
Wookie

as much as I can’t support people who let their kids do things that are majorly disruptive, inappropriate or dangerous, i can’t get behind a ban, either. Mostly because I think the ban targets the wrong group… If we could have a general asshole ban I’d be all for it… That would get the problem parents out of the picture as well as the generic badly behaved adult.

*********
Isabel says: agreed. we need an “asshole ban.”

Wendy
Guest
Wendy

100% completely agree.

Nicki
Guest
Nicki

More than once we have left a restaurant due to the crying of our children when they were babies.  After the 2nd or 3rd time, we quit going until we could reason with our kids on proper restaurant behavior.

Why in the world would anyone want to go to a theater to pace the aisle…..

Paulla
Guest

I couldn’t agree more. By the time my kids were 2, 3, and 9, I had them so well trained that I found I couldn’t stand most other people’s kids. What is it with people? Ugh. My kids are now 17, 18 and 24 and they are still a delight!

Angela
Guest
Angela

As a waitress, I would LOVE to work in a restaurant that banned small children. It is torturous to listen to the same baby wail for an hour, not only because of the noise but because it is infuriating to realize that parents will let a child cry for that long and not leave. A little fussiness is a minor annoyance, but no one wants to hear a newborn cry for their entire meal. Furthermore, a lot of parents don’t seem to recognize how dangerous it is for their kids to run wild. We carry trays that weigh up to… Read more »

Lisa
Guest
Lisa

THANK YOU! Could not agree more…all it does is make for an uncomfortable situation for everyone…not just the parent(who may or may not care about their screaming child or even be bothered by it), but for all the others who are trying to enjoy their meal/movie/etc… Same goes for grocery shopping/target/walmart, etc…I see more people screaming at their children…I’m not saying my kids were perfect, but there were MANY times I left the cart and had to come back because they were just not behaving(usually when they were under 2 yrs old), but I learned VERY quickly when they were… Read more »

annmarie
Guest
annmarie

It’s not misbehaving children who bother me when I am out. It is misbehaving adults who typically ruin dinner/movie expriences. Ever since I’ve had children I’ve realized something – other people’s crying, screaming, loony kids don’t bother me. It’s only my children who can drive me insane and irritate me. When I see other kids acting poorly I just thank god it’s not my kid and get back to ignoring it. But I can hardly ever ignore or tune out obnoxious and rude adult patrons. I guess we’ve just come to accept rude adults as the norm but kids are… Read more »

Canuck (Canadian) Person
Guest
Canuck (Canadian) Person

Are you serious?? I don’t fault people who are bothered by unruly kids and their clueless parents who do nothing about their kids’ poor behavior. Parents who are inconsiderate need to realize that there should be consequences when they let their kids run amok,in fact and in my opinion,it’s these parents’ fault and their problem that they and their annoying kids get banned and or kicked out of some establishment.

Headless Mom
Guest

AMEN, Chris! Thank you for putting on virtual paper what I’ve been feeling for YEARS.

Christy
Guest
Christy

Absolutely. I like the comment about the Drafthouse allowing kids during daylight. I don’t go to movies often, as its expensive, so it’s a treat for me & my husband. So we try to go later in the evening, to mitigate the amount of rude parents/kids. We recently saw the 9:30pm showing of Capt America & surprisingly there were still a few parents with kids there who were definitely under 6. It’s ridiculous to expect children of that age to be up that late, at a movie that probably has scary parts to them, to behave well. Fortunately, the kids… Read more »

Raquel
Guest
Raquel

THANK YOU!!! I do not have children yet, but I work with them and trust me I love kids, but what parents dont see is the experience from the child’s point of view. In the situation you described, that child cannot enjoy the movie, they do not understand what is going on. You are forcing them to sit (or hang out) in the dark. I think if we could see a situation from the child’s point of view, we could see that they will not enjoy a place that has a policy banning them in the 1st place. When children… Read more »

Lucinda
Guest
Lucinda

There is a difference between expecting good behavior and expecting a child to be a “little adult”.  Many who have taken offense to this article have said that we must allow children to be children and they won’t know how to behave unless we expose them to different environments.  These are both true statements.  HOWEVER, we must keep it age appropriate.  We wouldn’t throw a child in the deep end of a pool if they didn’t know how to swim even though swimming is an important skill.  We start in the shallow end first with them learning to put their… Read more »

Leila
Guest
Leila

I fully agree with the article.  Not only must we keep different environments age appropriate, but we should also keep our egos in check.  Unfortunately, there is a new trend in our society that children are all “special,” hence the ridiculous comments about how certain children are “more energetic than others.”  ALL YOUNG CHILDREN are energetic; if a child is not, then there’s something medically wrong.  While there’s something unique about every child, no child or his/her parents have the right to override the rights of others.  If a couple go to a fancy restaurant to enjoy a quiet dinner,… Read more »

Emily
Guest
Emily

I think that’s a very good way to put it, Lucinda!

trackback

[…] haven’t read a blog post about that yet. When I Googled the topic I just kept coming up with blogs like this one about how parents are letting their kids run […]

Laura
Guest
Laura

Makes me think and ponder….What about a child that is austistic? Do you think they should be banned? Even if they are well parented, they still may have have a need to make noises.  And how would you know if a child has an invisible disability like FSA (fetal  alcohol  syndrome) which could be why they are “acting out” ? What would you do in a movie theatre/ restaurant if a child was sitting near you who had Tourette’s and did loud verbal tics every 5 minutes? What about kids like this who make noise/ act out? How would you… Read more »

Laura
Guest
Laura

Meant hidden disability, not invisible. Sorry.

Susan
Guest
Susan

I once dated a man FAR longer than I should have because he told me quite solemnly that, once we had kids, he was prepared to never finish either a meal or a movie. Because if they acted up, it was out the door! Even tho’ I didn’t marry him, I still lived up to that code. I would be mortified if my children ever ruined someone else’s meal or movie, & I’m not about to sit quietly by while someone else’s do/es.

Susan
Guest
Susan

The either/or bs in this post is frustrating. Yes, I parent my children. I’m constantly parenting, teaching them to behave, correcting behavior. Sometimes they get it. And sometimes they don’t. I’m astounded at the number of responses here from parents who seem to have children who always behave perfectly. As in, all the time. Clearly you don’t live on the same planet as me. My children are human. And furthermore, one of my children has autism. Sometimes he’s perfectly fine when we go out. In fact, often. And I pre-plan everything we do to try to make it work for… Read more »

Abbs
Guest
Abbs

If your kid is truly autistic, it’s a whole different ballgame and it’s understandable. More often, tho,  people claim that their kid is autistic when they really aren’t. It’s more of an excuse the same way they use ADD, ADHD, or whatever other non-existent alphabetic condition is in fashion at the moment as an excuse for crappy behaviour. My friend has an autistic son who it’s obvious to see that he IS autistic, but there are plenty of people who claim they have an autistic child when it’s actually just crappy parenting.

Angela
Guest
Angela

There is no way for the employees of wherever you’re going to know ahead of time that your child has autism. It’s generally not a visible condition.  I’ve worked retail and had a woman scold me because i politely told her child not to knock over a full display of jewelry onto his head.  We understand that, to some extent, children are children. I think everyone knows that. And when your child is autistic, there’s so many more things that can go on during any trip.  But at the same time, these employees and managers are trying to run a… Read more »

Katie Taylor
Guest
Katie Taylor

Great article! Very well articulated.

Ainsleigh
Guest
Ainsleigh

I wish other parents were like you. I don’t mind kids if they aren’t screaming and making a mess. I’m never having children but it’s nice to know there are reasonable parents out there. I never had tantrums in public because my mom would spank me if I tried to pull half the carp kids do now and I am only 25!