Mother’s Day Truths
Mother’s Day. A good idea in theory, but the day is never quite the way you dream it will be, is it? Still, burnt toast, droopy flowers and sloppy kisses are what makes up motherhood. At least to us. Here are some more universal truths about our special day.
1. When you tell your family you want alone time for Mother’s Day, they won’t believe you.
2. If your husband says your Mother’s Day gift is a chance to meet Ryan Gosling, oh he better not be kidding.
3. Breakfast in bed apparently does not include your family cleaning it up.
4. Your child will make sure you wear that hand-painted macaroni shell necklace for a week straight.
5. Your children will clean out your wallet so they can buy you a surprise Mother’s Day cake that they will eat.
6. Your kids will forget that it’s Mother’s Day by 9:23 AM and immediately start whining and fighting.
7. The person who says Mother’s Day is just a made-up commercial holiday never pushed out a 9lb baby with the head the size of a honeydew melon.
8. Breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day would be a lot better if your kids knew how to mix cocktails.
9. By the time your kids leave for college, you will own 27 “World’s Greatest Mom” mugs.
10. Some of those sweet homemade Mother’s Day cards look incredibly similar to ransom notes.
11. An early morning Mother’s Day photo with cheek wrinkles and smeared mascara will make its way on Facebook.
12. When you say, “I want jewelry,” your husband and children will hear “gift certificate to where grandma shops.”
13. On Mother’s Day, there’s always one child who asks “When is it Kid’s Day?” Try to not scream, “EVERY DAMN DAY.”
14. Remember. If your family sends you to a spa on Mother’s Day, they fully expect you to come back home.
15. Mother’s Day is your day, but trust us… nobody wants to hear your birth story.
16. Handmade Mother’s Day cards are the best especially when you look skinny in your kid’s drawing.
17. If a mom says she just wants her kids’ love for Mother’s Day, she’s lying. Buy her a bracelet.
Published April 28, 2015. Last updated May 2, 2017.