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Ninja Shoes

By Amalah

Dear Amalah of cute baby and foundation brush fame,
I come to you humbly with my footwear dilemma.
I have these boots. They are pretty basic as boots go, black with a heel, but they make me look taller and I get compliments on them. However my problem is that they make me sound like a horse when I walk on hard surfaces. (This is not an exaggeration a male co-worker made a horse reference that confirmed what I already feared!)
The burning question is: how can I make it stop!!??!! Is the problem me? Are they just loud boots? Do I walk wrong? Is there a secret trick known only to the initiated for walking in heels to avoid sounding like the Kentucky derby? Is there a secret fix to make heels non-clacky?
Any advice you have will be greatly appreciated, and greeted with much rejoicing and possibly a nice thank you card with foreign postage stamps.
Thank you.
🙂

There is a secret fix! There are actually two. That I know of, anyway, which probably means they aren’t so much of a “secret,” because I only know really obvious, no-duh kinds of things. My knowledge is vast and very common!
So there is the high-tech secret fix and then there is the low-tech, kind of ghetto secret fix. Which would you like to hear first?
High tech it is!
Hush Heels are these pre-cut, adhesive foam pad things that sound engineers use to silence people’s shoes on movie sets and backstage areas. (I…uh…was kind of a drama geek back in the day. Okay, I was beyond a drama geek. Okay, I was the living embodiment of drama geekdom. Happy now?) You can get them online through various audio-type techie websites and occasionally they crop up on eBay.
duct.jpg And then there is the low-tech fix, which is simply to stick duct tape to the bottom of your shoes. And…yeah. Pretty self-explanatory. This will muffle the sound more than silence it altogether, but you could try this first and see if it’s enough to stop the horse-race cracks from coworkers. If your boots are still too stompy, try the foamy things.

Amalah
About the Author

Amy Corbett Storch

Amalah

Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy’s daily mothering adventures at Ama...

Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy’s daily mothering adventures at Amalah. Also, it’s pronounced AIM-ah-lah.

If there is a question you would like answered on the Advice Smackdown, please submit it to amyadvice@gmail.com.

Amy also documented her second pregnancy (with Ezra) in our wildly popular Weekly Pregnancy Calendar, Zero to Forty.

Amy is mother to rising first-grader Noah, preschooler Ezra, and toddler Ike.

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