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Ninja Shoes

By Amalah

Dear Amalah of cute baby and foundation brush fame,
I come to you humbly with my footwear dilemma.
I have these boots. They are pretty basic as boots go, black with a heel, but they make me look taller and I get compliments on them. However my problem is that they make me sound like a horse when I walk on hard surfaces. (This is not an exaggeration a male co-worker made a horse reference that confirmed what I already feared!)
The burning question is: how can I make it stop!!??!! Is the problem me? Are they just loud boots? Do I walk wrong? Is there a secret trick known only to the initiated for walking in heels to avoid sounding like the Kentucky derby? Is there a secret fix to make heels non-clacky?
Any advice you have will be greatly appreciated, and greeted with much rejoicing and possibly a nice thank you card with foreign postage stamps.
Thank you.
🙂

There is a secret fix! There are actually two. That I know of, anyway, which probably means they aren’t so much of a “secret,” because I only know really obvious, no-duh kinds of things. My knowledge is vast and very common!
So there is the high-tech secret fix and then there is the low-tech, kind of ghetto secret fix. Which would you like to hear first?
High tech it is!
Hush Heels are these pre-cut, adhesive foam pad things that sound engineers use to silence people’s shoes on movie sets and backstage areas. (I…uh…was kind of a drama geek back in the day. Okay, I was beyond a drama geek. Okay, I was the living embodiment of drama geekdom. Happy now?) You can get them online through various audio-type techie websites and occasionally they crop up on eBay.
duct.jpg And then there is the low-tech fix, which is simply to stick duct tape to the bottom of your shoes. And…yeah. Pretty self-explanatory. This will muffle the sound more than silence it altogether, but you could try this first and see if it’s enough to stop the horse-race cracks from coworkers. If your boots are still too stompy, try the foamy things.

Published December 20, 2006. Last updated December 20, 2006.
Amalah
About the Author

Amy Corbett Storch

Amalah

Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy’s daily mothering adventures at Ama...

Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy’s daily mothering adventures at Amalah. Also, it’s pronounced AIM-ah-lah.

If there is a question you would like answered on the Advice Smackdown, please submit it to [email protected].

Amy also documented her second pregnancy (with Ezra) in our wildly popular Weekly Pregnancy Calendar, Zero to Forty.

Amy is mother to rising first-grader Noah, preschooler Ezra, and toddler Ike.

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