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Maybe She Is Definitely Not Born With It

By Amalah

Dear Amalah,
Gee, you know what I think? I think you should break format one day and just randomly gush about a new product you’re using. That is what I think, although I also think you are pretty and you smell nice, even when you haven’t showered.

So about a month ago, I stopped by Sephora to get some more Rosebud balm and to see if my all-time favorite foundation was still on backorder. (It was.) (Argh!) Since I went in planning to Spend Money, and good Lord, I can’t just buy a damn $6 pot of lip balm — lip balm that is clearly classified as an EXTRA, IMPULSE-TYPE purchase there — I wandered around to see if I could find some other fancy little doodah that I never knew I could not live without.
After studying the dazzling array of false eyelashes for awhile (because my eyelashes are long, but hey, they could always be LONGER, and thicker, and more…spangly), this caught my eye: the Bourjois Coup de Theatre False Lash Illusion Mascara. bourjois.jpg
“It’s false eyelashes in a tube! It actually makes your lashes longer!” I excitedly explained to Jason. Who scoffed. MIGHTILY.
“There’s no way that makes your lashes longer. That’s totally not possible.”
“But it has…uh…’a unique cero-fibrillar complex consisting of wax, nylon fibers, and silica fibers!'”
He was not convinced, but I bought it anyway. You know. For the Smackdown. For research. For the LOVE of the PEOPLE.
And then nobody asked me about mascara or false eyelashes or anything relevant. Boo.
So hey! Do you want longer lashes? Or do you have really thin, wispy lashes? Have you thought about trying falsies to make your eyes look more dramatic?
Yes? Then you will LOVE THIS STUFF. It works. I swear to God, it really works. A couple flips of the white primer stuff adds a bit of fluttery, featherly length to your lashes, while thickening the shaft. I don’t know what the hell a “a unique cero-fibrillar complex” is or how the hell it builds onto the ends of my lashes, but it works.
My only caveat is that I don’t think the mascara itself is anything super-special, and in fact can border on clumpy if you apply too much. It’s nothing that a quick flip of a lash comb can’t fix, but still. I wish they sold the primer separately so I could use a different mascara — probably just some good old Loreal. Bourjois does sell two other variations on the same product (both $2 more, for whatever reason), so maybe those have a less blah mascara.
I’m still completely fascinated with the many many shapes and sizes of false eyelashes out there, so I still might have to try some of those out. But for everyday? Love this stuff. (Oh God, stop me before I break out the “For nighttime glamour during the day?” wannabe-Covergirl commercial stuff. STOP. ME.)

Published January 10, 2007. Last updated January 10, 2007.
About the Author

Amy Corbett Storch


Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy’s daily mothering adventures at Ama...

Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy’s daily mothering adventures at Amalah. Also, it’s pronounced AIM-ah-lah.

If there is a question you would like answered on the Advice Smackdown, please submit it to [email protected].

Amy also documented her second pregnancy (with Ezra) in our wildly popular Weekly Pregnancy Calendar, Zero to Forty.

Amy is mother to rising first-grader Noah, preschooler Ezra, and toddler Ike.

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  • mdvelazquez

    January 10, 2007 at 10:13 am

    I was so thinking of the Cover Girl commercials while reading this.

  • foodmomiac

    January 10, 2007 at 10:33 am

    Very interesting… I use Bourjois Volume Glamour mascara and just love it. I’ll need to check this out.

  • queenann

    January 10, 2007 at 11:51 am

    I LOVE the L’Oreal Double Extend mascara that has the fibers like your Bourjois. Maybe you should try? Plus it comes in waterproof. If only the fancy mascaras did, I would buy myself a pile 10 feet deep.

  • The Muse

    January 10, 2007 at 12:19 pm

    I found a similar product at Sephora, but it’s more of a primer-sold-separately kinda thing: Urban Decay Lingerie and Galoshes for Lashes. I bought it for the sheer purpose that I didn’t want to replace my beloved mascara (Benefit BADgal Lash that I wear EVERY SINGLE DAY) with an untested waterproof version. The UD stuff is perfect for when I want to fatten up the lash-line but not waterproof it, waterproof it but not fatten it, or both. LOVE IT!
    So yes, enjoy.

  • TheHolls

    January 10, 2007 at 12:46 pm

    Here’s some 411 on falsies: I had some delicious eensy-weensy individual false lashes put on me at a spa/salon open house recently, and they looked stellar — something about them managed to make my eyes look like they’d had about 87 hours worth of snooze, all bright and shiny and and wide and “Ohmygod, did you have the Greta Van Susteren surgery??” They were allegedly able to withstand several days worth of wear, but even with careful daubing of the eye area during cleansing, most of them wound up scattered like tiny little spider legs all over my pillow that night. With professional application by a skilled gluer-on-er, however, I totally recommend them for a special occasion. Wish I’d had ’em for my wedding!

  • Mers

    January 10, 2007 at 1:25 pm

    Where are the photos? I want proof. That way we get to see your prettiness… or, you could try it out on Noah and then we would get the proof and the cuteness. 😉

  • Kimba

    January 10, 2007 at 9:18 pm

    It’s very possible that you just sealed the deal on what to do with my newly acquired gift certificate to Sephora….Thanks!!! I shall report..

  • *Otter *

    January 11, 2007 at 12:12 pm

    1. “Thickening the shaft”. Heh, dirty.
    2. I did want to ask about false eyelashes! But I also have a two-month old and do you know how ridiculous the thought is that I might have time to apply false eyelashes? Bwahahaha. Yeah, I think I’ll go eat an uninterrupted meal, read Infinite Jest and then maybe cure cancer.
    3. Ok, so here’s my question…In the article that you posted about Laura Bennett (swoon), she said that she SLEPT in her eyelashes. Well, that just spawns all kinds of questions: 1. What kind of eyelashes? Individual or line? 2. How do you sleep in them, don’t they have mascara on them? 3. And won’t you pull them off if you try and clean off that mascara?
    Ok, there, I think we can now officially rationalize a false eyelash study. Perhaps DARPA has some extra funding :~)

  • lchorba

    January 11, 2007 at 4:51 pm

    Ok – You have to try Kiss Me Mascara. Their website is
    They have a primer that sound exactly what you have described. It is great and you can buy it separate from the mascara. BTW, the mascara rocks too! (and no, I do not work for the company). You have to let me know what you think.

  • b

    January 11, 2007 at 8:25 pm

    I am an Origins whore.
    Pair any mascara with their Underware for Lashes and you are in business.