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Maybe She Is Definitely Not Born With It

By Amalah

Dear Amalah,
Gee, you know what I think? I think you should break format one day and just randomly gush about a new product you’re using. That is what I think, although I also think you are pretty and you smell nice, even when you haven’t showered.

So about a month ago, I stopped by Sephora to get some more Rosebud balm and to see if my all-time favorite foundation was still on backorder. (It was.) (Argh!) Since I went in planning to Spend Money, and good Lord, I can’t just buy a damn $6 pot of lip balm — lip balm that is clearly classified as an EXTRA, IMPULSE-TYPE purchase there — I wandered around to see if I could find some other fancy little doodah that I never knew I could not live without.
After studying the dazzling array of false eyelashes for awhile (because my eyelashes are long, but hey, they could always be LONGER, and thicker, and more…spangly), this caught my eye: the Bourjois Coup de Theatre False Lash Illusion Mascara. bourjois.jpg
“It’s false eyelashes in a tube! It actually makes your lashes longer!” I excitedly explained to Jason. Who scoffed. MIGHTILY.
“There’s no way that makes your lashes longer. That’s totally not possible.”
“But it has…uh…’a unique cero-fibrillar complex consisting of wax, nylon fibers, and silica fibers!'”
He was not convinced, but I bought it anyway. You know. For the Smackdown. For research. For the LOVE of the PEOPLE.
And then nobody asked me about mascara or false eyelashes or anything relevant. Boo.
So hey! Do you want longer lashes? Or do you have really thin, wispy lashes? Have you thought about trying falsies to make your eyes look more dramatic?
Yes? Then you will LOVE THIS STUFF. It works. I swear to God, it really works. A couple flips of the white primer stuff adds a bit of fluttery, featherly length to your lashes, while thickening the shaft. I don’t know what the hell a “a unique cero-fibrillar complex” is or how the hell it builds onto the ends of my lashes, but it works.
My only caveat is that I don’t think the mascara itself is anything super-special, and in fact can border on clumpy if you apply too much. It’s nothing that a quick flip of a lash comb can’t fix, but still. I wish they sold the primer separately so I could use a different mascara — probably just some good old Loreal. Bourjois does sell two other variations on the same product (both $2 more, for whatever reason), so maybe those have a less blah mascara.
I’m still completely fascinated with the many many shapes and sizes of false eyelashes out there, so I still might have to try some of those out. But for everyday? Love this stuff. (Oh God, stop me before I break out the “For nighttime glamour during the day?” wannabe-Covergirl commercial stuff. STOP. ME.)

About the Author

Amy Corbett Storch


Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy’s daily mothering adventures at Ama...

Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy’s daily mothering adventures at Amalah. Also, it’s pronounced AIM-ah-lah.

If there is a question you would like answered on the Advice Smackdown, please submit it to

Amy also documented her second pregnancy (with Ezra) in our wildly popular Weekly Pregnancy Calendar, Zero to Forty.

Amy is mother to rising first-grader Noah, preschooler Ezra, and toddler Ike.

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