High-Risk Pregnancies & Medical Terminations
Where do I begin? I wrote back in September about a medical termination my doctors thought I should have. I wrote you at the most painful part of my life, funny the people that will be there for you when you’re down (perfect strangers). I decided to try to keep the baby despite all the medical complications, my body disagreed and I miscarried the first week of November. You’ve written about this before, but it’s such a horrible feeling to think your body isn’t meant to bear children. I know as women we’re more than just baby making machines, but‚ still‚ here are times it feels so‚ utterly unfair.
Mostly Amy, I want to say thank you to you and your readers who commented on that post. I reached out from a very dark scary place and found nothing but comfort and from people I don’t even know. Perhaps my family and friends were just too close to me to help, too many of their own emotions tied up in mine. Regardless, thank you, you all didn’t give me answers that day, but you all gave me empathy, and there are no words I can find to express what that meant and still means to me.
With all my heart,
You’re right. It is so terribly unfair, and I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. I can talk some good talk in defense of choice and our right to it, but there were also many times when I would get good and lathered at the idea of someone cavalierly terminating the very thing I wanted most in the world. I hope your story ultimately has a happy ending for you, in whatever path you end up taking, however you choose to build your family.
I’m proud of you, by the way. You were brave to reach out to strangers, brave to share your story — it’s a story that a lot of people need to hear, people who tend to paint women considering a termination with a broad, heartless brush — and brave to make the decision you made. I’m sure you’re tired of hearing how SORRY everybody is for you, but…damn. I’m sorry it just wasn’t meant to be this time, and that the decision ended up being taken out of your hands anyway. If you want to wallow in the unfairness for a bit, you go ahead. I will bring the ice cream and a really big spoon.
Published December 29, 2008. Last updated March 27, 2018.