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Turning Tables on Mommyblogging

When the Tables are Turned on Mommyblogging

By Chris Jordan

I have spent over six years talking about my life on the Internet. Obviously, my children are a big part of my life and have figured prominently in my writing. I have always tried to be sensitive to them and to tell the stories from my perspective as their mother. Whether certain things will bother them when they get older only time will tell. If I have learned anything in all these years of parenting it is that the things I worry about, or am concerned about, most often turn out to be the wrong things anyway. So why worry.

There is a rule at my house that we do not watch tv on school nights. I am constantly being challenged on this rule by my children. It probably doesn’t help that I am inconsistent in enforcing the rule.

The other night my 14 yr old son wrote on his Facebook page:

Mom: Turn off the tv and go to bed.

Me: But Mom, it’s only 8:00.

Mom: I don’t care! No tv on school nights!

Me: But Mom, I don’t have any homework. And I’m not tired! It’s only 8:00.

Mom: Go to bed! It’s late.

Me: Late for OLD people.

I found out about this when my oldest two sons were laughing over their iphones as the comments from their friends came in.

But that isn’t exactly how it happened I protested to my son, It was 10:00 and I didn’t say go to bed, I said go to your room. Or you know, go away…

I am not sure if that sounded any better though, once I heard the words coming out of my mouth.

Mom, I exaggerated slightly for comedic effect. You’re a writer. You know all about that.

I laughed.

All these years I have been worrying about what they would think of the things I wrote about them when they were younger. It turns out I should have been worrying about what they were going to write about ME.

No one talks about when the tables turn and your kid is now talking about you on the Internet. Damn, I had better start being more like Martha Stewart, but without the jail thing. Martha Stewart meets Mother Theresa. That would be awesome.  That’s the sort of mother I’d like the Internet to think that I am.

So what do you think your kids would write about you on the Internet?  Would they be kind?

Chris Jordan
About the Author

Chris Jordan

Chris Jordan began blogging at Notes From the Trenches in 2004 where she wrote about her life raising her children in Austin, Texas.

Oh, she has seven of them. Yes, children. Yes, they...

Chris Jordan began blogging at Notes From the Trenches in 2004 where she wrote about her life raising her children in Austin, Texas.

Oh, she has seven of them. Yes, children.
Yes, they are all hers.
No she’s not Catholic or Mormon. Though she wouldn’t mind having a sister-wife because holy hell the laundry never stops.
Yes, she finally figured out what causes it. That’s why her youngest is a teen now.
Yes, she has a television.

She enjoys referring to herself in the third person.


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I think Toby would write about how mean I am that I change his diaper and wipe his face. He would probably also complain that I don’t understand a word he says.

(he’s 13 months old)


I’ve had several versions of similar situations happen and it always cracks me up. Although – E is usually kind and makes me sound waaaay cooler than I really am, but sometimes I do have to defend myself…”I didn’t say THAT!”


My son is 8 and doesn’t have independent internet access yet, for which I am deeply grateful.


You’ve terrified me, on a bright and sunny Saturday morning.


thank you for giving me all new things to worry about! the old ones were getting boring, anyway.


My 10-year old daughter is totally a future blogger. (In fact, it’s entirely possible she already has a blog I don’t know about.) She’s hilarious and snarky and yes, I will be in big trouble.


Ha! While taping your kid’s pencil to his hand might be kind of Martha, I’m pretty sure you’re out of the running for Mother Theresa with that one! (or maybe you could argue that you were helping his poor forgettable self)

Last week I interviewed my eldest for a post; I expected some funny stuff to come out . . . but she was sincerely nice to/about me. I was surprised and thankful all at once! Maybe it’s because I was doing the typing(?)


Eh, I think a mom who was a combination of Martha Stewart & Mother Teresa would be pretty dull. Where’s the funny there? Maybe throw in a little Janeane Garafalo in there and you’d have a winner. 😉 As for what my kids write about me on the internet, I might just have to refuse them to have unsupervised internet access until they’re no longer living in my house??? LOL.


Not even Martha Stewart is immune as evidenced by her daughter Alexis poking fun of her on her show Whatever, Martha.


Yeah, I’m not coming off too well on Facebook either. Fortunately we share many of the same friends, so I can pop in and defend myself. And I can be snide on my own wall too…my kids come by their snark honestly. In fact, you might say sarcasm is our family’s love language.
But the day they start their own blogs is the day I go into the witness protection program!


Just think of the horrors that ensue when prospective employers check what your KIDS are saying about you! With absolutely no leeway for artistic license. Shudder!


heh, a cross between Martha Stewart and Mother Theresa~that IS how I think of you, Chris!

By Word of Mouth

My daughter does have a blog and so far so good, and there hasn’t been any bribery (yet)  She does have a tendency to throw in when I am doing something or saying something that I might want to rethink later … ‘hmm, there’s a blog in this’ – lol, she is pretty funny that way!  She is over at Wise Words by Wiki, its a cute blog, she refers to me as The Cats Mother, in England when someone says  ‘she said ‘ as a child it would always be thrown back at you ‘Who is she, the cat’s… Read more »


It isn’t just on the internet that I worry about. One time when my oldest was in first grade he had to write a paragraph about me. He mentioned several times in that short paragraph that I spent a lot of time on the computer. I still wonder what his teacher thought.


They have, and they may not be really kind, but they’re usually funny.