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The Nightmare Babysitting Charge

The Nightmare Babysitting Charge

By Amalah

I read the Daycare Bullies post on your website and wondering if you might have advice for me. My situation is a little opposite.

I currently homeschool my children (ages 4, 8, 11, 13). I have also babysat a friend’s toddler since he was just days old.

He turned 2 a few months ago. He has a sister that is 12 that lives in the same home full time. He has 3 step-brothers that are in his home every other weekend and occasional holidays. Their ages are 9-14. The toddler’s parents since he was born, parent permissively.

I, however, do not. I’m not perfect by any means but I am doing my best. I have rules of respect and kindness in my home. I follow through with what I say. And I try to parent with the Love & Logic method.

It is very frustrating to have this toddler in my home. He is very bright and usually stubborn. I realize he is 2 and is learning. But the parenting style of his home and mine are clashing. He can communicate. He often says “no want be nice”, “no want say please”, “no want talk nice”, “no want clean toys” etc. He is mouthy, defiant, disrespectful to me and my oldest. He refuses to share or take turns. He orders my daughter and I around. Yells a lot. Throws tantrums. Hits, shoves, throws things at my children. He is no longer allowed to touch or be near our animals (1 dog and 3 cats) because he hits them and is mean to them. I used to try and work with him on how to be gentle and praise his good behavior, but it doesn’t work. I have to be in the same room to supervise. His behavior is worse when I turn my back or just go to the bathroom. His mom allows him to bring toys, candy, coke, etc because she “just doesn’t want to fight with him”. Of course I put them in the diaper bag after she drops him off.

A few weeks ago she asked if anything had happened or changed lately so she could understand why he hates coming to my house. I explained he is talking back more and his rudeness and meanness isn’t acceptable. He sits on time out and doesn’t get his way… I don’t give in to tantrums. She didn’t say anything.

Recently my children and I went to their home for Christmas gift exchange. It was a nightmare. He wasn’t nice as you can imagine. His mom did nothing. Her 12 year old daughter was justifying the toddler’s behavior to my children (when my 4yr old said “ow that hurts please stop”). I had to be the one to intervene. And several times there was rudeness. All while she still did nothing but sigh.

I understand feeling tired. I understand feeling overwhelmed. I’m a single mother and only parent to them. I’m juggling my kids, their homeschooling, watching her kid, and managing my own photography business. I’m tired too. But I feel there’s some behavior that’s not ok. No one is the exception at my house. The rules are the same for everyone.

I’m not sure what to do. I’m not sure how to or if it’s possible to help his behavior while he is at my house? Please help. Please advise.

Frustrated Friend

One detail that’s not included here is whether the babysitting income is something essential to your household, or if the arrangement arose out of the existing friendship as a more of a “favor.”

If it’s the former, it’s time to make a change. This arrangement is no longer a good fit.

If it’s the latter, it’s also time to make a change. This arrangement is no longer a good fit.

Sorry to be so blunt, but seriously. He hurts your children and your pets. He is exhibiting significant behavior problems that would cause issues and concerns  and talks of expulsion at ANY daycare program. You have spoken to his mother and nothing has changed. (And most likely won’t, as she joins right in with a disregard for your rules by sending in toys, candy, and soda. FOR A 2 YEAR OLD AHHHH RAGE STROKE.)

And you’ve seen first-hand that his behavior problems continue at home and are completely ignored, tolerated and excused.

Honestly, your friend needs a wake-up call. And her son needs her to get said wake-up call and DEAL WITH THIS. He’s out of control and it’s not his fault, but it seems highly doubtful that whatever time he spends in your home is going to have any real impact at this point. You’ve tried. But you need to put your own children (and animals, and personal sanity) first and that’s okay.

Ending the arrangement and pushing your friend to find a more formal daycare setting for this child might be exactly what they both need. He needs age-appropriate socialization and better behavior modeling from peers his own age. He needs adults who are actually trained in early childhood education and development to deal with his behaviors, and possibly figure out if there’s something deeper going on than just a spoiled 2 year old. (The violence and defiance your describe does sound troubling.)

And your friend needs to hear that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, is putting her foot down about this child’s behavior and enforcing some freaking consequences. Any good daycare provider would do the same at this point. It’s sticky because there’s a friendship here, but hey! At least he’s not your grandkid or something. This babysitting arrangement is business, and you are perfectly entitled to put an end to it for any reason, at any time.

If you need the money, find a different babysitting charge or offer up homeschooling/tutoring services to an older kid, but get this particular child out of your home. Be completely honest with your friend that it’s because he’s hitting and hurting and you’re just not equipped to handle his tantrums. Suggest that it’s probably time to get him into a more formal/structured program with kids his own age, for better socialization.

And after that, it’s out of your hands. She might remain in a state of denial and refuse to discipline or set limits. She might get super defensive and not talk to you for awhile. She might just pawn him off on another friend or neighbor who lets him run wild. It sucks to watch innocent kids spiral because of crappy/lazy parenting, but it’s not your fault. Or your responsibility (provided there’s no abuse/neglect going on that needs to be reported, but that doesn’t sound like the case here). You did your best for two full years now and it’s no longer a good fit. Your kids, pets, safety, sanity, personal-preference-to-not-deal-with-a-raging-sugared-up-toddler-behaving-like-a-monster are all allowed to take priority over a babysitting arrangement you made a long time ago with a friend.

Amalah
About the Author

Amy Corbett Storch

Amalah

Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy’s daily mothering adventures at Ama...

Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy’s daily mothering adventures at Amalah. Also, it’s pronounced AIM-ah-lah.

If there is a question you would like answered on the Advice Smackdown, please submit it to amyadvice@gmail.com.

Amy also documented her second pregnancy (with Ezra) in our wildly popular Weekly Pregnancy Calendar, Zero to Forty.

Amy is mother to rising first-grader Noah, preschooler Ezra, and toddler Ike.

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Comments

  • Marisa

    I could be reading too much into this, but maybe your friend is also ready for the change but is worried about offending you. Can you frame it as something you think is best for him – he is so unhappy at your house, maybe that is why he is acting out so much? That way you’re letting her know his behavior is the cause but it sounds less, your kid sucks, I can’t watch him anymore because of said suckness.

  • K

    I don’t think it has to be about the kid “sucking”, even if she is being clear about why she can no longer watch him. I agree with Amalah – OP it’s time to make a change. I hope you aren’t relying on any income that you get from this arrangement, but if you are, it may not even be worth it. And I encourage you to be honest with your friend. If my child was acting that way (cruelty to animals, repeated hitting, shoving, ANY of that stuff), I would want to know. And while I bet she sees it in her own home, maybe the fact that another adult (that she must trust and respect, since you are watching her child) sees it and reinforces that it isn’t just “terrible twos” and its actually something that requires a bit more focused effort, both on her part as a parent and perhaps on the part of a more structured play/daycare setting. I get that she might be tired or overwhelmed but maybe by drawing a boundary about no longer watching him, and encouraging her to seek help if she needs it (or at least continue to support her if she admits that “yeah, I don’t want to parent this way but I am out of ideas”) you guys can come to a place where OP isn’t watching an out of control kid and her friend isn’t passively sort of ignoring her toddler’s unusually extreme sounding behavior. Good luck OP – and stick to your guns!

  • Susie

    “I just don’t want to fight with him”???? And he’s two?? Drop that like it’s hot, mama. Your kids don’t need his bad example nor the pain caused by him, and clearly that mama is missing some priorities. This will not improve without a boot to the hiney. And good luck, because that conversation isn’t going to be pleasant. 

  • MJH

    I’ve read through this twice and I honestly don’t see any behaviors that are that wacky for a just-turned-2-year-old. They aren’t gentle with animals. (You have to go over and over and over it again.) They hit and bite and you have to draw boundaries over and over and over again.

    Now, if the caregiver is the only one doing the boundary-drawing, it’s not going to stick if the parents aren’t reinforcing it. So yeah, I agree with Amalah. Time to move this kid on. No one sounds happy with this arrangement.

  • JOJ

    Echoing MJH’s comment above, I reread this several times and honestly I don’t see anything that is beyond normal for a 2-year-old. It is normal that they don’t know how to be gentle with animals, or that they hit and bite. Certainly not ideal, but normal.

    A 2-year-old coupled with significantly older and larger children will probably find a way to get attention and communicate the only ways he knows how — probably through non-ideal methods at that age. The fact that he bites or hits or whatever isn’t a reflection on him but more a reflection that he needs help coping with something in his environment. Honestly I hear quite a bit of judgement being placed on this toddler, which is saddening.

    Ultimately Amalah is right — this is not an ideal situation for anyone, most of all the toddler. I would just make the suggestion to the letter-writer that when she has this conversation with the parent to not place blame on the toddler. Just emphasize that given his very young age, you’d recommend a daycare with kids his own age. Make it less about how much difficulty you have had, and more about ensuring he’s placed in the right environment so he can have the support he needs.

  • SarahB

    I agree with a PP that a lot of this is normal two year old behavior. I imagine part of the problem is the permissiveness at home–but also I wonder how much age appropriate activities and focus there is for the two year old when the OP is also home-schooling four other kids. It’s not like the day is structured around the two year old’s stage of development like it would be a daycare center or in-home daycare with a toddler age range. I think that kind of structure would hep this kid a great deal.

  • Ali

    Echoing the comments above…to me, his behavior doesn’t seem THAT out of line with normal 2 year old behavio, esp a 2 year old competing for attention with 4 other kids.  I had my 2nd child when my oldest was just over 2, and 2 was an incredibly hard age for us.  My sweet boy transformed into a defiant 2 year old despite us giving plenty of boundaries and age appropriate punishments.  In retrospect, I think 2 would’ve been a tough age for him regardless of whether or not there was a new baby, but the baby and lack of attention made it that much harder.  I think you all should seek to find another solution–for his sake as much as anything.  Your attention is probably just too divided to give him the interaction and age appropriate activities he needs.

  • Shelly

    My child isn’t yet two, but I have an additional idea for the OP. Perhaps look around for a low cost/ free parenting program that might be offered through a local community centre or similar. If the toddler’s mom does say that she’s a bit out of her depth, it could be helpful to have some resources ready to point her in the right direction.

  • Brenda

    Um, wow, he just turned TWO.  Both the OP and Amalah need ease off the judgement!  This behaviour is completely age-appropriate.  (There’s a reason they’re called the “terrible twos,” folks.)  Take a deep breath and have some compassion for the poor kid.

    I’m not saying he doesn’t need discipline.  Every child needs discipline.  My favourite resources for this age group come from RIE, or Janet Lansbury’s website.  It’s a more gentle, respectful, and non-punitive approach that takes into account where two-year-olds are at. No, I don’t give in to my 2-year-old’s tantrums, nor does she get ridiculous treats, nor do I shy away from “fights,” nor do I allow hitting, etc. I have compassion for what my child is dealing with and figuring out in her two-year-old brain, I listen to her and empathize with the feelings that are behind the behaviours, and I set limits and hold to them in ways that keep everyone safe physically, mentally, and emotionally.

    Here’s a good starting point if you need one:
    http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/04/no-bad-kids-toddler-discipline-without-shame-9-guidelines/

    If the OP wants to end the arrangement, that’s fine.  If she’s not willing to figure out more age-appropriate discipline, that’s fine. But for goodness sake lay off the judgement of “significant behaviour problems” and “rudeness,” “meanness,” “mouthy,” and “disrespectful.”  These words are not appropriate for a two-year-old who is testing out boundaries and seeking attention in new ways, that’s what two-year-olds are developmentally wired to do.  If you don’t want to work with a normal two-year-old, then by all means end the arrangement, that’s perfectly reasonable.  But if the adults can’t or won’t handle this one, then own it, don’t blame the toddler.

    • Jessica

      Not to be a jerk, but I have a two year old and he does none of those things.  As I have a two year old, I’m around a whole bunch of them and very few of them are a danger to the cat.

      I think that we can all agree there is a clear line between developmentally appropriate 2 year old jerkness (which yeah, they can be) and ‘holy shit there is a problem with your boundaries’.  

      I also am a teacher and I see a lot of kids who have zero home boundaries, and there is a CLEAR difference in behaviour.  

      Which is not to say this kid is a loss, at all.  It just means this kid needs some developmentally appropriate help and space, and probably the parent needs some education, and probably everyone needs a step back and some wine.  

  • Alyssa

    I’m so happy reading the comments, because it broke my heart to read the letter and response. This poor little boy is just 2 years old and the expectations of him are not age appropriate, and the language used to describe him (rude, mouthy, disrespectful) is not appropriate behaviour / language from a caregiver. 

    If you want to create a self-fulfilling prophecy, tell a kid they are bad, and watch them live up to it. 

    I think some people aren’t meant to do daycare, (not trying to be insulting) but you can be a good mom and not a great care provider, simply because you don’t love this other child and you don’t see the behaviour with the same empathy / unconditional filter we see our own kids through. 

    If a 2 year old is able to tell his mom he doesn’t like being there, I can only assume he’s in trouble more often than not. It sounds like he would strongly benefit from a different daycare situation. 

    • Kate

      I agree with the other commenters that most of this seems like normal 2 year old behavior (on the extreme end of the spectrum but still normal). The problem comes in with the fact that the parents aren’t parenting when he’s with them and the letter writer can’t do it on her own. Maybe if he was the only kid that she was taking care of but not while also homeschooling her own older kids (I also agree that part of the issue is that he’s competing with so many other older kids to get attention both at home and at the letter writer’s house). A two year old just shouldn’t be spending that much time in time out. It’s the adults’ job to monitor and modify the situation and set the kid up for success, not just to punish.

      Amy’s advice to stop taking care of the kid and suggest that he needs to be in a center with other kids his own age is still spot on. I just don’t think anyone needs to be worried that this kid has serious problems other than what’s shaping up to be a bad case of spoiled child syndrome.

    • Ali

      Brenda, totally agree with your comment.  The mom may very well not be disciplining appropriately (who knows, it is hard to tell as an outsider), but the language used to describe this little boy just make me sad.  Two year olds aren’t “rude” or “mean”…they’re just two. I know if it was my child being described that way, or spending huge amounts of time in time out (even if sparked by bad behavior), I would be incredibly upset.  And I think if anything I am “strict” with my expectations for my kids…but a 2 year old is still just so little and so trying to understand the world around them.  

  • Marisa

    Totally agree with other commenters.

    I don’t think you have to love to pieces every kid you babysit, but when you start disliking them this much and attributing age inappropriate characteristics and motivations to them, it is time to end the relationship.

    I do not agree with other commenters’ suggestions that the letter writer has an obligation to tell the mother why or just how awful she thinks her kid is. Find any reason and just end the arrangement. I echo my earlier comment, I think the mother probably has picked up on this and also wants the arrangement to end.

    The letter mentions the kid dreads going over to the babysitters house – maybe some of the acting out is sensing how much he is disliked by the letter writer and her children.

    I usually am on board or pretty neutral about anything Amy writes but this feels… Pitchforky.

  • tsm

    Yeah…I read through it twice, and I agree w/all the people who say it’s normal 2 yo behavior, with the exception of some of the shoving, etc.

    Should his mother be super permissive? No. But the letter-writer, on the other hand…I may be reading too much into this, but the her insistence on “*I* do not parent permissively” combined with the description of the child as “mouthy” and “defiant” plus, tbh, the homeschooling makes me wonder just how strict she really IS. I wonder (1) how long he is sitting in time-out and (2) whether the punishments (is it just time out?) combined with doing things like taking toys and food mommy gave him away is causing some of his aggression. Two is TOO YOUNG to connect structured punishment to behavior, cognitively. It is TOO YOUNG to expect consistent politeness. And if she’s extracted that behavior out of four of her own children at 2 ys old, I do wonder what kind of punitive discipline she used to manage it. In any event…he needs a different care environment, clearly.

    • tsm

      to clarify on the taking stuff away from him issue…OBVS you should not give a 2yo soda (although, nutritionally, decaf soda is not particularly worse for you, per calorie/mL, than straight juice or those beloved organic squeeze juice packs in our preschool set).
      But regardless of where one stands on the soda issue, the caregiver should not then take that (plus toys!) away from the child without telling the mother. Soda and candy may be iffy parenting, but they are not child abuse.

  • Flic

    Erm, guys? The OP HAS HAD 4 KIDS of her own I’m pretty sure she’s well awar of what “normal toddler behaviour” is like.
    The bigger issue, is the fact that the OP and the kid’s parents aren’t on the same page about anything. Whether or not the kid is being a typical two year old, or a complete brat is irrelevant because the reactions and consequences to his behaviour are not the same across the board.

    OP, you’re fighting a losing battle. It’s not fair on anyone.

  • M

    This is a fortuitous opportunity for me. I am the original writer of the “Daycare Bullies” letter (https://alphamom.com/parenting/daycare-bullies/), and I have often thought of it and the responses it provoked. Over the last couple years, I’ve sort of passively waited for an opportunity to follow up.

    My then-2-year-old is now 5, and I have a 3.5-year-old and a 4-month-old now, too.

    When I wrote that letter, I was pretty isolated from other moms–I was working full time and finishing my PhD, and my experience at daycare was my first experience placing my first child with an assorted collection of children.

    I was surprised at the negative comments my query provoked–especially the peremptorily negative reactions to the “bully’s” mom. I felt they didn’t take into account the fact that the daycare provider was a person, a mom, and a friend. But I also felt pretty validated–I thought her kid was a jerk, and all the commenters pretty much agreed with me. But I need to follow up. We left that daycare that year because we moved across town. My provider’s son went on to kindergarten, and he has blossomed into a wonderful child and a kindhearted big brother. Meanwhile, over the years, I’ve had the opportunity to see my oldest act out in aggressive ways I don’t understand.
    I’ve also had the opportunity to see that some of his toughest behavior has been the product of a phase and not a reflection of his character. I’ve also had the opportunity to know that not all battles can be fought all the time, and it’s likely that my daycare provider was exhausted at pick-up time and not always on top of her son’s bad behavior. All that is a very circuitous way to say the following: everyone is right, the OP’s situation is clearly not working and should be terminated. However, I strongly encourage the OP to look past the feeling of validation she may find here. The 2-year-old child she watches is 2 years old, and 2-year-olds are extraordinarily and famously difficult to “discipline” in meaningful, lasting ways. They are also barely formed toddlers: he might be going through something, she might not be the best provider for him, he might be spoiled, her perspective may be limited–despite having 4 children–by her home environment. I learned from my experience that my expectations for perfection (from all parties) were too high and my belief in my own righteousness was simply too closely held. I regret that I wasn’t more charitable in my own heart to her child, and I hope the OP can end her current situation without that regret.

    • MH

      Wow. I don’t normally comment, but I just have to say how touched I am by your thoughtful response. I work with older kids, and I have seen too many instances in which behavior that is triggered or exacerbated by an inappropriate environment and/or developmental phase is equated with some essential character flaw. Thank you for sharing your perspective on how complex growing up can be. Let’s hope it inspires some more compassion for kids (and parents!) who are going through a rough time. That’s not to say that consistent approaches to managing behavior don’t matter–they certainly do–but not everything is within our control as parents, as much as we might wish it were. 

  • Bella

    I am the parent of a two year old, as well as an early childhood developmental specialist who has worked professionally with children this age for many years. The OP’s tone towards this child just breaks my heart, because her dislike and lack of respect towards this child are so evident with every line. It seems clear that this child doesn’t have an ideal home situation, and that is contributing to his behavioral issues, but frankly my son comes from a 2 parent family that is very much on board with consistent discipline and has the additional asset of professional resources to address behavioral issues, and he still struggles with many of these same problems! The OP may have lots of experience with toddler behavior over the years, but every child is different and it sounds like this one in particular is really struggling with this setting. I would echo the advice that she end this childcare arrangement, but more for the sake of this poor kid than anything else. If she wants to try to end on a positive note, maybe she could offer to help the other mother find some resources like a more appropriate childcare setting, a community center or church parenting class, etc? Also, for parents who are short on energy, emotional resources, etc, I often recommend the book or DVD 1-2-3 Magic. It is a pretty simple disciplinary approach that offers a clear strategy for addressing these challenging behaviors without drawing too much on parental time and energy.

  • DV

    I have to echo what everyone else is saying, that the OP’s tone indicates it’s time to be done with the arrangement, more for the sake of the child than anything else. 

    I come from a POV of the mother of the difficult child, who has been struggling with his own defiant issues. I could tell that the teacher at his daycare was fed up with him and probably taking things out on him a little more than would be done to other kids in the class. We had a sit down, I advised her that more structure was necessary (we didn’t have the same kind of issues at home, being more strict with respect and rules), and when she started giving him boundaries rather than punishments after the fact and ignoring him, his behavior VASTLY improved. My son used to cry when getting dropped off but now runs into school and has a mostly great time. He still has his moments of defiant behavior but yeah, HE’S TWO. Kids that age look for ways to find attention and when they are largely ignored they act out. 

    Homeschooling four of your own (much older) kids certainly doesn’t leave much time to spend with an active, energetic toddler. You aren’t doing this kid any favors keeping him in your home when the disdain you have for him is evident. As a mom who has been on the other side, this breaks my heart. FWIW, my son has moved past this “acting out” phase and has moved into screaming, which is just one more thing to work through before we finish raising him to be a respectful human being. OP if your kids never did any of these things at two years old, I’d say it’s more due to blind luck rather than any parenting styles. Or maybe you see things through the rose colored glasses of motherhood? Either way, do everyone a favor, and end the relationship gracefully. 

  • Holly W.

    As a mom of two sons who have both been through the two-year-old phase recently, I certainly agree with Amalah’s “change the situation” plan. But I think it’s for slightly different reasons. My oldest was an angel two-year-old – always doing what we asked and hardly ever a trantrum. My younger, now 2.5-year-old exhibits many of these same behaviors. Interestingly, my older son is much more intense and acts out more if the situation makes him uncomfortable, while my younger is very, very chill. But he’s two. He thinks hitting is funny, or at least gets him attention. He sees shoving as a way to get a toy he wants. He thinks  mouthing off is appropriate when he hears his brother say something disrespectful, and its a lot harder to teach him why it’s not OK. Do we correct all of these things? Constantly. every day. and as he gets older, things slowly improve. But the key here is that both at home and during his daytime care hours, he’s with an appropriate caregiver. Someone who yes, will watch his behavior every moment of the day – not feel like she can leave him to his own devices/with an older but not yet caregiver-competend child. Two year olds NEED to be interacted with, have an eye kept on them, and yes, the constant boundary setting that they are still learning to understand. Expecting him to act like an 8-year-old who’s had nearly a decade of boundary setting is unreasonable, and OP, you’re not providing the kind of care he needs. He needs a setting with peers and early childhood teacher/caregiver(s). Where he’s stimulated all. day. long by age-appropriate activities. Where he learns from all of his peers around him how they should and should not be acting. Where he has boundaries and reasonable consequences, not expectations to act like a much older child. So changing settings will a) be much easier on OP, who doesn’t have the time and energy to commit to him right now, and b) better for him in the long run, and also, let’s consider c) his mom probably needs some guidance with how to reinforce boundaries at home, and a daycare center or an at-home caregiver with the right training can provide that. Two years olds can be very wearying because it takes so. much. repetition and commitment to those boundaries for MONTHS and YEARS to see it become fruitful, and with four other children in the home who are at completely different developmental stages/need much different things from OP, he needs a different environment. 

  • Paige

    I’m so glad the commenters have responded to this. I was so sad to read the letter and the response. Two year olds don’t share, they’re not quiet, they require constant supervision. That doesn’t make them mean or rude or disrepectful, that makes them two. Some two year olds are worse than others and most of that is pure luck and personality and not a product of parenting styles. I encourage you to stop the arrangement not because of him but because the child should not be spending so much time with someone who dislikes him. And I guarantee he senses your dislike and is acting out even more because of it. Two year olds are hard to handle, and much more so when they aren’t yours and you don’t have to love them. I hope the little guy finds an environment that works better.

  • Cheryl S.

    Another vote for getting this child a new daycare environment.  It is obvious from the tone of the letter that the caregiver doesn’t like this kid.  That’s just sad. And if that is the case (and it sure sounds like it is) it is terribly unfair to the poor little boy.  

    Yes, he might have issues. yes, he might be spoiled. Yes, he might be totally different from the caregiver’s kids. But, he might just be 2 and have a mom who is exhausted.   

    For the sake of the child, stop watching him. Let the mom put him in daycare.  

  • JMH

    OP..hang in there! You *did* express your concerns about his behavior to the mom…she did nothing (that you are aware of anyway) You have seen him at home, with his family, acting out and  “All while she still did nothing but sigh” At some point, you need to take care of YOUR kids and YOUR family and YOUR home. Don’t even worry about all these other comments…I completely agree with Amalah’s response on this one. Time to let this child move on to a different daycare setting. (And I am a mom of 2 and an elementary teacher)

  • Kim

    I’m not sure where all the negativity towards the OP is coming from.  These are normal 2yo behaviors, sure, but you work with those behaviors and you expect the kid to respond.  And again, she has had 4  2yo’s of her own – this ain’t her first rodeo.
    I have special needs kids – I know the frustration of needing other parents to cut my kid some slack – as does Amy herself!  But this is an uphill battle, and it’s not going to get better.  I think her advice is spot on.