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Hoop Dreams

By Chris Jordan

This post is brought to you by Quilted Northern Soft & Strong®
So, I read all your helpful suggestions from last week about my dilemma with toilet paper tubes on the floor and this is what happened:

Here’s another story. When my kids were small and potty training I remember wondering if they would ever wipe their own butts. It was literally years of them sitting on the toilet, like kings on a throne, bellowing for me to come and wipe their royal backsides. From that point it seemed as if each of them went through a brief, THANKFULLY, period of not bothering to wipe at all. It took too much time! They were too busy! I have been very busy in my life before, but not once do I remember being too busy for that. Then came the next stage of using too much toilet paper. I remember one of my sons crying for me in the bathroom. When I went to investigate I discovered he had made himself a mitt of toilet paper. Unfortunately it was stuck on his hand. Eventually, after being shown several times, they all began using the appropriate amount of toilet paper squares.

So toilet paper tubes on the floor? It could be worse.

Tell me, how did your kids learn how much toilet paper to use? I told mine three squares per wipe and impressed upon them that it is okay to flush more than once. Just PLEASE do not clog the toilet. PLEASE.

In fact, we’re keeping last week’s giveaway going. Just keep sharing your ideas in the comment section here, comment on last week’s post, or send in a video (link to it below or email it to contact[at] and you’ll be entered to win a year’s-worth of Quilted Northern toilet paper and a $50 Visa Gift Card (all generously provided by our sponsor). Please keep the comments family-friendly, ‘mkay? We’ll be randomly be selecting the winner. Just one entry per person, please. We’ll close the comments here and the giveaway next week, November 15th at 11:59pm EST.

Please join the conversation at or on Twitter each week @QuiltedNorthern for opportunities to win free Quilted Northern Soft and Strong® and help make the taboo talkable.

Chris Jordan
About the Author

Chris Jordan

Chris Jordan began blogging at Notes From the Trenches in 2004 where she writes about her life raising her children in Austin, Texas.

Oh, she has seven of them. Yes, children. Yes, the...

Chris Jordan began blogging at Notes From the Trenches in 2004 where she writes about her life raising her children in Austin, Texas.

Oh, she has seven of them. Yes, children.
Yes, they are all hers.
No she’s not Catholic or Mormon. Though she wouldn’t mind having a sister-wife because holy hell the laundry never stops.
Yes, she finally figured out what causes it. That’s why her youngest is almost 6.
Yes, she has a television.

She enjoys referring to herself in the third person.

If you would like to submit a question for Chris to answer publicly, please do so to adviceforparentsoftweens[at]gmail[dot]com.

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  • Ness at Drovers Run

    November 11, 2010 at 6:53 am

    Oh boy did I laugh at your “like kings on a throne, waiting for me to wipe their royal backsides” because that is EXACTLY how it is!! 😉

  • Ann from St. Peter MN

    November 11, 2010 at 10:29 am

    Man – I do not miss those days at all!

  • Maggie

    November 11, 2010 at 11:22 am

    Yes, pee in the trash can…I do remember that. He claimed he was sleepwalking. Of course, as you know, it was a target to shoot for! Do boys aim at the space between the back of the seat and the tank as entertainment, a secret contest perhaps?

  • Ally

    November 11, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    I am in the midst of the “Mommy come and wipe my butt” stage. I see no end in site…

  • chochi

    November 12, 2010 at 2:27 pm

    Trust me ladies….You will miss those days.