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How To Be A Cool Twilight Mom

By Guest Contributor

By Kim Holmes of Miss Zoot

1. Make sure you have your OWN copy of the Twilight series.

Pretend you are actually giving your teen their own copy. You don’t have to tell anyone the truth: You don’t want to share.

2. Emphatically exclaim that Edward and Bella belong together.
Your reasoning is that they so obviously love each other and they have vowed to stay together forever. This should successfully hide the truth: You think Edward is super-hot for a 107-year old vampire.

3. Volunteer to take your tween/teen to the midnight showing of the “Twilight” movie when it is released on November 21st.

This will give you HUGE points for being an awesome Mom for letting your her/him stay up late for a movie. Do your best not to give away the fact that you really just wanted someone to go to the midnight showing with you.

4. Be able to argue where you think Robert Pattinson will fall when compared to past cinematic vampires.
This Twilight Mom’s opinion is that he will surpass Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise, but will probably fall short of James Marsters.

5. Join your tween/teen in trying to contemplate what your Vampire power would be based on your natural talents as a human.
Try to use your pre-Mom self as a baseline, or else you’ll sadly have to admit your power would probably be Removing Grass Stains From Clothing In Record Time.


Guest Contributor
About the Author

Guest Contributor

We often publish pieces by guest contributors. If you’re interested in being one, please drop us a line at contact[at]alphamom[dot]com.


We often publish pieces by guest contributors. If you’re interested in being one, please drop us a line at contact[at]alphamom[dot]com.

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  • whoorl

    September 17, 2008 at 5:41 pm

    I’m in the middle of Book 4 right now, and I must admit, Edward and Bella have INVADED MY PSYCHE. What’s going to happen when I’m finished? Gah.

  • secha

    September 18, 2008 at 6:57 am

    I have to agree, I don’t think Robert Pattinson is going to make a good Edward. I mean, he’s great looking and all but he’s just not… Edward. No one can ever out rank James Marsters or David Borenaz, though.

  • Swistle

    September 18, 2008 at 7:13 am

    Fine. FINE. I will read the goldang books.

  • Janssen

    September 18, 2008 at 7:15 am

    Great post, even if Jacob is sadly under-represented here 🙂

  • mdvelazquez

    September 18, 2008 at 7:46 am

    I don’t have a child. I think I will order the series online.

  • Denise

    September 18, 2008 at 7:49 am

    Just stopping by to say hello and Happy Thursday! I always enjoy reading what you write.

  • Randi

    September 18, 2008 at 8:15 am

    It’s all your fault, Zoot, that I actually read the first book – the voraciously devoured the rest of them! Now I’m passing the addiction onto my sister-in-law – heh.

  • Elaine C.

    September 18, 2008 at 8:32 am

    Gah, I am so far behind! I have every intention of hopping on this bandwagon…everyone is talking Twilight and I feel very left out. Y’all make it sound so, so, so guilty pleasure and, well, I love guilty pleasures.

  • KLynn

    September 18, 2008 at 8:43 am

    I thought the movie was coming out on Nov 21? Has something else changed?
    I’m currently revamping Breaking Dawn…again. I swear…Stephenie posts part of Midnight Sun and I can’t quit re-reading them all AGAIN. *sigh* I’m going to cry if she doesn’t go back and finish Midnight Sun…I don’t care if she completely re-writes the whole first part…just finish Edward’s story!
    Oh, and I’m probably taking my 15 y.o. daughter to the midnight release if I can swing it…for her…ya know…riiight.

  • soapbox.SUPERSTAR

    September 18, 2008 at 9:01 am

    I bought the first one at Barnes and Noble… and after the checkout lady said “Wow, you don’t look old enought to have a teenager, you must have started early!” – I promptly decided to order the rest of the books from Amazon dot Com!
    Good List!

  • BJaxon

    September 18, 2008 at 9:17 am

    Those are great. 🙂

  • Lane C

    September 18, 2008 at 9:37 am

    Twilight was for teenagers?! I thought they were for moms who wanted to re-live their teen years in a fansty!

  • Michelle

    September 18, 2008 at 9:37 am

    I’ll never be cool…I don’t even know what you are talking about! But I’m all over Dora the Explorer so I guess I can be cool with the pre-school set.

  • bessie.viola

    September 18, 2008 at 10:33 am

    The first time you mentioned this series, I was able to dismiss it quickly. The next, I thought it might be interesting… and now I am scooting around Amazon looking for a copy of my very own.
    I blame you for this next obsession… there has to be SOMETHING to fill the Harry Potter void!!

  • Carmen

    September 18, 2008 at 11:03 am

    Hmm, I’m 289th in line at the library to get the first book. What are the chances I’ll be able to read it before the movie comes out?? 🙂
    I’m sorry to have to say this, as I know the entire Internet is buzzing about the gorgeous actor to play Edward — I don’t think he’s at all attractive. Give me Angel any day!

  • Jackie

    September 18, 2008 at 11:09 am

    One word…obsessed! So excited about the movie but I’m a little upset about the Nov. 11 release date. I can’t go to a midnight showing in the middle of the week…I am old!

  • *pixie*

    September 18, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    My kiddo is just a year and a half. Can I still use him as an excuse as to why I LOVED the series? Probably not…I don’t care I’m proud of my obsession!

  • Ang

    September 18, 2008 at 12:30 pm

    Teehee! I JUST started, and finished, the first book. On Tuesday. My oldest is 6, but I just might have to go find myself some random teenager who wants to go to the movie… just so I don’t look silly…

  • Operation Pink Herring

    September 18, 2008 at 1:14 pm

    If only I had a kid, then I’d have an excuse to be SOOOO INTO THESE BOOKS.

  • CrazyRideLady

    September 18, 2008 at 1:18 pm

    Great post – love love loved the books. My “teen” is 22 years old, in the Army, and living in another state. Can I still be a Cool Twilight Mom?

  • Janet

    September 18, 2008 at 2:37 pm

    I’m loving Midnight Sun, more than her last book! And since I’ll never be a Cool Twilight Mom or any kind of Mom, is it ok if I read you here? 😉

  • Marilyn

    September 18, 2008 at 3:19 pm

    Whatever. I can’t even blame a teenager on my obsession with these books. And therefore? I shall be attending the movie the day it premieres BY MYSELF. Oh the shame. I’m sure all the teenage girls will point and laugh at me. But I don’t care, because of EDWARD.

  • Melizzard

    September 18, 2008 at 3:37 pm

    Oh yes I have gone and bought these “Presents” for non-existent teenager at Target in the last two weeks but I always make sure I never buy something like a bottle of wine with it – so I don’t appear to be just that sad.

  • Angella

    September 18, 2008 at 4:08 pm

    I have not read the books, but maybe it’s time I succumbed to the force of Twilight…

  • amber

    September 18, 2008 at 6:37 pm

    Hey, where’s the Team Jacob voice?
    Elizabeth’s far too young for the Twilight books, so I can’t really share my adoration for this series (except the last book, I’m still wounded from that).
    And while I truly adore Mr. Hotty-McHotpants Edward for my own personal obsession, I’m fully on the Team Jacob side of the fence for Bella.

  • jenB

    September 19, 2008 at 12:10 am

    In looking at the still photos on, Robert Pattinson looks perfect. It made my heart a flutter. I am a diehard MOM FAN!

  • Christine

    September 19, 2008 at 1:32 pm

    I just bought the first book yesterday – my 13 year old really wanted to read Anne Rice, to which I said, “um. no”. They’re a little mature I think even though I loved them. So, I’m going to read this and then I’ll hand it to him. I was concerned it might be too mature, but so far it looks ok.

  • Elizabeth

    September 19, 2008 at 4:12 pm

    I’m a Twilight Mom and I’m proud of it! Ryan isn’t old enough to read the books and hasn’t expressed any interest anyway. So I’ll probably be going to see it by myself. I’m not loving Robert Pattinson as Edward either, but I won’t let that stop me 😉

  • Shannon

    September 20, 2008 at 11:10 pm

    I stole Breaking Dawn out from my teen’s hands at the library, right after she checked it out! I have no shame, and the librarian got such a kick out of it. Now I’m enjoying reading it and making vague comments just to drive her nuts unitl I finish it later tonight.

  • nicole

    September 22, 2008 at 10:33 am

    Great post! I’m helplessly in love with the Twilight Saga! In fact, I wrote my very own post about these deliciously delectable novels.

  • Yiling

    September 23, 2008 at 6:16 pm

    I bought twilight on sale on amazon, knowing nothing about the book, other than the high reviews (i know! i’m so uncool!)
    i LOVED the book, and proceeded to raid the 5 closest target to buy book two and three, with no luck!
    resorted to amazon and got them overnight… so awesome!

  • Tasha

    October 3, 2008 at 8:01 am

    I finally read Twilight this week and became instantly hooked. I have never been this obsessed about a book before. Ran out and bought book #2 right away…Its now been 3 days since I finished and I MUST buy book 3 today before I go into shock. (I figured I should spend some time with my 2 young children before I go back neglecting them while reading..)
    Shhh mommy is reading about Edward and Bella….Team Cullen, all the way.
    *My SIL and I are making shirts for the midnight showing…TEAM CULLEN. Is that going to far? We are in our late 20’s…oh well.

  • Lori

    March 20, 2009 at 1:15 pm

    I can’t believe Im so obsessed with these books. It is becoming a little embarrassing to use my daughter as an excuse to look up interviews of Robert Pattinson. He is the perfect Edward. What is embarrassing is what the kids actually think of twilight moms. if you dont know, look up urbandictionary. its so sad.

  • Anonymous

    November 2, 2009 at 2:08 pm

    hahaha james marsters IS the best vamp ever.