Prev Next

How To Be A Cool Twilight Mom

By Guest Contributor

By Kim Holmes of Miss Zoot

1. Make sure you have your OWN copy of the Twilight series.

Pretend you are actually giving your teen their own copy. You don’t have to tell anyone the truth: You don’t want to share.

2. Emphatically exclaim that Edward and Bella belong together.
Your reasoning is that they so obviously love each other and they have vowed to stay together forever. This should successfully hide the truth: You think Edward is super-hot for a 107-year old vampire.

3. Volunteer to take your tween/teen to the midnight showing of the “Twilight” movie when it is released on November 21st.

This will give you HUGE points for being an awesome Mom for letting your her/him stay up late for a movie. Do your best not to give away the fact that you really just wanted someone to go to the midnight showing with you.

4. Be able to argue where you think Robert Pattinson will fall when compared to past cinematic vampires.
This Twilight Mom’s opinion is that he will surpass Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise, but will probably fall short of James Marsters.

5. Join your tween/teen in trying to contemplate what your Vampire power would be based on your natural talents as a human.
Try to use your pre-Mom self as a baseline, or else you’ll sadly have to admit your power would probably be Removing Grass Stains From Clothing In Record Time.

 

Published September 17, 2008. Last updated July 10, 2018.
Guest Contributor
About the Author

Guest Contributor

We often publish pieces by guest contributors. If you’re interested in being one, please drop us a line at contact[at]alphamom[dot]com.

...

We often publish pieces by guest contributors. If you’re interested in being one, please drop us a line at contact[at]alphamom[dot]com.

icon icon
chat bubble icon

Comments