Back-to-School Truths

Holy smokes, what happened to summer? Whether your kids are already back to school or you are winding down your summer vacations, we knew you could use some back to school humor and wisdom (okay, more humor than actual wisdom). So stop trying to remember what you ever packed your kids for lunch (we can’t remember either) and enjoy our back-to-school truths.

1. You will knock down another mom to get the last Frozen backpack and later your daughter will say, “That’s Anna. I only like Elsa.”

2. You will spend $300 back-to-school shopping with your kids and return home with 8 sparkly shirts, 2 pairs of sunglasses and no pants.

3. You will attempt to bribe a Staples employee into gathering all the items on your school’s supply list while you sit and read Facebook.

4. The mom who keeps talking about how fast the summer went is the one who spent it vacationing on the French Riviera.

5. Prayers that the hot dad will be one of the parents in your kid’s class will go unanswered. Instead you’ll get Rita, the overbearing, chatty PTA mom.

6. You will insist to your kids that your back-to-school happy dance is just excitement about the fall television lineup.

7. Despite vowing to say “no” more often this year, by day two, you’ll be signed up for the auction committee, the book fair and room mom.

8. After checking out the creative, inspired back-to-school lunch ideas on Pinterest, you’ll just make the same stuff you did last year.

9. The kid who has loved school busses his entire life will suddenly hate them when it’s his turn to ride one.

10. On the first day of school, get a good look at your kid’s brand-new backpack because it’s all downhill from here, baby.

11. It’s okay to be sad when your child starts Kindergarten. It’s not okay to sit outside the school with a bottle of wine and binoculars.

12. You know what’s fun about packing school lunches? That’s a trick question. There’s nothing fun about packing school lunches.

13. Once again, you’re the parent in the bathrobe at the bus stop.

14. The kid who woke up at 5 a.m. every day for vacation will suddenly be impossible to wake up at 7:00 a.m. every day for school.

15. Remember: Your child isn’t the only one who needs a new outfit for the first day of school.

Did we miss any other universal parenting truths about back-to-school?

Back-to-School Ideas from Alpha Mom:

1. First Day of School Breakfast Sign Printable
2. Printable Lunchbox Jokes 
3. Back-to-School Friendship Bracelet Cards