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GroupMom: Deal of the Day Offerings for Kids!

By Guest Contributor

By the Mouthy Housewives

Why should adults be the only ones to benefit from awesome Deals-of-the-Day? After all, kids love a bargain, too. That’s why GroupMom now offers children as young as one-years-old special deals designed to make their little lives a bit easier. So break open those piggy banks, dig into those couch cushions and scrounge up some coins, kids—these offers won’t last long!

TODAY’S GROUPMOM DEALS:

  • 2 Dimes for 1 Hour of Patiently Listening to a Recap of Your Wii Game
  • 40 Cents For 3 Dinners Where The Food on Your Plate Doesn’t Touch the Other Food on Your Plate
  • $1 for An Entire Day Without a Hygiene Lecture
  • $3 To Find Your Missing Pokemon Card in the Pile of 10,000 Other Pokemon Cards
  • 53 Cents and the Savings Bond From Grandma Gets You No Indoor Voice! Reminders for 24 Hours (offer subject to change depending on mommy’s mental state)
  • 11 Cents to Actually Look at Your Artwork Before Saying “Good job!”
  • 50 Cents for No Eye Rolls While You’re Whining About How Tough Your Life Is (must be 13 or older)
  • 25 Cents and You Don’t Have to Take a Bath For Two Nights
  • 45 Cents and You Get to Paint Mommy or Daddy’s Toenails Neon Pink with Unicorn Stickers. (No extra charge for giving us a foot massage!)
  • $5 Gets You No Mommy Yelling All Day (This offer has already expired and can no longer be redeemed)
  • 50 Cents For Not Sneaking Spinach Into Your Brownies
  • 12 Cents for not Making Gagging Noises When You Pick Your Nose. (20 cents for both nostrils)
  • $10 for Actually Buying That Your Sister “Started It”
  • 50 Cents for Not Giving You a Big Hug and Kiss in Front of Your Friends
  • 25 Cents for 5 Minutes of Playing the Drum Set We Hid in the Basement
  • $1 Per Poop Joke at the Dinner Table
  • 30 Cents For Two Less Carrots At Dinner. An Extra Dime for No Carrots At All.

 

More parody and humor can be found over at The Mouthy Housewives website. Go ahead and click on over but first tell us if there are any deals you think your kids would like to see offered on GroupMom.

Photo credit: Thinkstock

About the Author

Guest Contributor

We often publish pieces by guest contributors. If you’re interested in being one, please drop us a line at contact[at]alphamom[dot]com.

...

We often publish pieces by guest contributors. If you’re interested in being one, please drop us a line at contact[at]alphamom[dot]com.

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