Prev Next

How to Gross Out an Eight-Year-Old

By Guest Contributor

By Brian of Looky, Daddy!

1. Kiss your spouse.
And tell him someday he’ll likely kiss his.

2. Skip the standards.
Mentioning snot, poop, farts, or even poopy farts won’t cut it. Try pus.

3. Explain how fish sticks are made.

Or hot dogs.

4. Show him his birthing video.

Don’t forget to turn up the volume.

5. Clean his face.
With a tissue moistened by your own spit.

 

Guest Contributor
About the Author

Guest Contributor

We often publish pieces by guest contributors. If you’re interested in being one, please drop us a line at contact[at]alphamom[dot]com.

...

We often publish pieces by guest contributors. If you’re interested in being one, please drop us a line at contact[at]alphamom[dot]com.

icon icon
chat bubble icon

Comments

newest oldest most voted
Notify of
Marinka
Guest

6. Ask him which girl in his class he will marry.

whall
Guest

Start off with “Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind.”

Robyn
Guest
Robyn

I just asked my eight-year-old. His response: “Puke, diarrhea, mushrooms…”

Sarah
Guest
Sarah

Princess Bride reference ftw.