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Big Bridesmaids & Bigger Egos

Dec18

by

I was wondering if you could tell me the best colors for bridesmaids to wear when they are all 2x and bigger in size.
Thank You, Evelyn

Not to put too fine a point on it, but have you considered asking your bridesmaids what color they’d prefer to wear?
Tissot_Bridesmaid_Detail.jpgIt’s super great that you’re thinking of their comfort and body type first, instead of simply dressing them to match the table linens (hate! these are not fancy folded napkins! these are grown women!) without much thought regarding how totally not flattering yards and yards of bright teal taffeta are on the bigger girls. (Or…anyone, for that matter.) So I would just go directly to them and ask: Hey! What color dress do you feel best in? If you were coming to this wedding as a guest instead of a bridesmaid, what would you wear?
But what if they pick black, the most obvious choice for slimming? Well, no problem! Black bridesmaid dresses are available and totally acceptable. These days, black = formal instead of black = funeral. I’ve seen some really nice, simple black gowns that you then accessorize with a more traditional wedding-type color, either using a wide sash or some kind of wrap. And a brightly colored bouquet really stands out beautifully against black, so don’t cross it off as an option too quickly.
But what if they all pick different colors? Well, again, nothing wrong with going against the teal taffeta establishment and letting them wear different colors. Most bridesmaid gowns come in so many different colors that you could probably find a style you all like and order it in three complimenting colors — like one black dress and then two different shades of wine or burgundy, or something. Or go a step further and let them wear different dresses altogether. how gorgeous does this bridal party look, in various shades of coffee and cream?
Anyway, my whole long-winded point is: ask your friends what they want, go shopping together, listen to their preferences and keep an open mind about all the various ways you can incorporate their personal preferences. Yes, it’s your day and most bridesmaids are willing to defer the final selection to you, but it never hurts to remember that your bridesmaids are your FRIENDS first, and your accessories second. Or…just your friends, end of story.

About the author

Amalah

http://www.amalah.com
Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy's daily mothering adventures at Amalah. Also, it's pronounced AIM-ah-lah.

If there is a question you would like answered on the Advice Smackdown, please submit it to amyadvice@gmail.com.

Amy also documented her second pregnancy (with Ezra) in our wildly popular Weekly Pregnancy Calendar, Zero to Forty.

Amy is mother to rising first-grader Noah, preschooler Ezra, and toddler Ike.


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7 Responses to “Big Bridesmaids & Bigger Egos”

  1. Stephanie Dec 18 at 10:47 am Reply Reply

    I love the idea of each girl choosing her own dress. I am a plus size girl and I got to choose a dress in a style that flattered me for my sister’s and my friend’s weddings. It made me feel more confident knowing that I looked really great in what I was wearing.

  2. Zoot Dec 18 at 10:51 am Reply Reply

    I did black AND let my bridesmaids pick their dresses! I’m that cool!
    http://flickr.com/photos/misszoot/11116767/
    I think letting my bridesmaids pick their gowns was the best because we removed all elements of bride-hatred. heh.

  3. cagey Dec 18 at 11:29 am Reply Reply

    I was in a wedding last year and the bride let us pick our own dresses – the only request was that the dress be black. I particularly appreciated this because I was pregnant at the time. Since I am pregnant again, I will actually be wearing the outfit again – shocking, but true (the wearing the outfit, not the pregnancy)

  4. linds Dec 18 at 12:58 pm Reply Reply

    I am a plus-size bridesmaid and have luckily not had to wear anything hideous. However, having tried on over 35 bridesmaids dresses to date (fortunately I haven’t had to buy that many)I can say there are certain styles you can look for that will definitely be flattering on larger bridesmaids as well as the smaller ones.
    Ruching: it is your friend at all times with formal dresses. Anything with lots of texture on top with disguise any imperfections underneath.
    Exhibit A.
    Empire waist: not always your friend, can look like a potato sack. Anything that creates a waist on bridesmaids who may not naturally have much of one, is good. Exhibit B of bad empire waist. Look at that fabric, supposedly flowing smoothly over an equally flat, tiny, and smooth torso! And the spaghetti straps! Cutting into flesh making your arms look like a sausage!
    My final words: go for something with structure for your friends who may not have much structure in their body type.

  5. Meghan Dec 18 at 2:41 pm Reply Reply

    My sister did the same thing for her wedding, everyone wore whatever they wanted, the only guidelines were that it be floor-length, and black. Everyone got to pick out something flattering, in their own price range, and many already owned something that fit the requirements.

  6. Vida Dec 19 at 2:17 am Reply Reply

    I did this for my wedding. I told my bridesmaids to pick a dress, and if I hated it, I’d veto it; otherwise, it was totally up to them. They picked out some very classy long, black strapless dresses with some white accents. Those jerks looked better than I did at my own wedding. Of course, that might be because I was exhausted and pissed off at certain family members of mine. Anyway, I’m just chiming in to say that Amy’s idea works out well. My bridesmaids are very full-figured ladies and they looked fantastic. And they didn’t stop talking to me after the wedding.

  7. heels Dec 19 at 1:20 pm Reply Reply

    My bridesmaids wore black and had plum colored wraps that tied in with the color scheme. They had really gorgeous, vibrant bouquets that stood out so nicely against their dresses.
    I chose their dresses, but they were ones that they could wear again to anything formal- really simple, strapless, floor-length. They loved them.

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