Because EW
by Amalah
Dearest Amalah, < grabs Amalah by the shoulders and starts vigorously shaking her while screaming "YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!" > < regains composure, apologizes profusely, explains that while mental instability runs in the family...I am not crazy, offers to pay to replace Amalah's highly-fashionable shirt, and then gets to the point > I hate [...]
Because You Can Take My Curel Out of My Cold, Dead Hands
by Amalah
Dear Amalah, OK, this is driving me crazy, and I figure if anyone can find out this answer you can. I used to just use whatever makeup and moisturizers worked well for me. But, then, about two years ago, I started hearing about how bad mineral oil and petroleum-based products were for my skin. Now, [...]
Because We Heart Makeovers
by Amalah
Dearest Amalah, I’m getting married in exactly 3 weeks. I’m sorry, let me rephrase. I’m getting married in EXACTLY.3.WEEKS! All the details have been ironed out as I sit here and twiddle my thumbs waiting for the day to just get here already. I’m getting married in my mothers home town and therefore will be [...]
Because It’s High Time For a Manifesto
by Amalah
(Not exactly a Q&A today, but…eh. Is my column and I feel like yakking about myself instead.) I had a dream last night where a woman stopped me on the street and started shrieking and pointing and telling me that I needed to shave my legs. (I should point out that I was, in fact, [...]
Because I Updon’t
by Amalah
Dear Beautifully Coiffed Amalah, I’ve just been invited to Las Vegas for a swanky event — the Marine Corps Ball! It’s like prom for grown-ups! My dilemma: the travel thing. I live in the Philadelphia area, so I’ll be flying six hours to get to said ball. Although my dress and shoes are travel friendly, [...]
Because I Think it’s Time For the Return of the Earmuff
by Amalah
Dear Amy, I recently cut my hair shorter than it has ever been cut before. And I am absolutely in love with it. (Here’s a picture for your reference. My face is really shadowed and my arm looks unusually enormous, but the hair looks pretty normal, and that’s what counts, right?) But I have a [...]
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