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Week Twenty-Seven


Published 07.22.2008 | Permanent Link | Comments (6)

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Your Baby:

  • Hey! Remember when I told you your baby was as big as a gummy bear? Oh, about 19 or 20 weeks ago?

  • Now imagine a two-pound, 15-inch-long gummy bear. Yep.

  • Eyelids (which have been fused since 11 or 12 weeks) can now open and close.

You:

  • Are officially in the third trimester! Feel free to celebrate/panic at will.

  • May notice more of that pesky round ligament pain as your belly gets harder and bigger and rounder, or as it starts to dip down a little bit, looking a little less perky and cute than it did a few weeks ago.

  • Depending on your baby's position, the kicks and movements might be a little painful. Feet up under your ribcage, jabs to the cervix, random body parts of mystery poking you way off to the side, where you didn't even think those little appendages were long enough to reach.

Glucose Screen Test
I had my glucose screening this week, and I am happy to report that 1) I passed, and 2) it was not as terrible as last time. Don't quote me on this, but I think it maybe had something to do with the fact that I ate breakfast before chugging the sugary drink of sugary crash sugar goodness. I know! Where do I come up with these off-the-wall hypotheses?

Last time I showed up on an empty stomach. I thought that would be the best and easiest way to ensure that I didn't accidentally space out and put jelly on my toast or start eating spoonfuls directly from the sugar bowl (there's to be no sugar -- either refined or from fruit -- before you take the test). I gulped down the glucose drink in under a minute and experienced the trippiest hour this side of college, with a jittery rush of sugar and then an immediate zonking out on my doctor's couch. They woke me up for the blood test and sent me on my way to work, where I struggled to stay awake and alert before finally succumbing to a terrible migraine and went home.

This time I ate a piece of whole-grain toast with a little butter. The drink (which reminds me of that orange drink that McDonald's used to provide for my elementary school field days and such) made me very tired and sluggish, but it wasn't nearly as dramatic a crash. And no headache. So...if you haven't had the glucose screen yet, consider EATING SOME DAMN FOOD before you go. Good God. It's a wonder I don't just pass out cold from the force of my own brilliance.

Traveling When Pregnant
Speaking of passing out, I talked to my doctor about traveling at this stage of pregnancy. This was also exceedingly brilliant, since I'd already booked non-refundable airline tickets from D.C. to California. He gave me the thumbs up, saying that he's generally comfortable with pregnant women taking long trips until about 34 weeks (although most airlines will let you fly until 36 weeks domestically and 35 weeks internationally). If you have complications (problems with the placenta, for example, or are at risk for premature labor), then your doctor may give you an earlier cutoff for travel -- air or otherwise. Otherwise, you'll probably hear the same spiel I did:

  • STAY HYDRATED. Duh. And yet, easy to screw up and forget until it's too late, particularly with the 3-ounce liquid rules for air travel. After getting two unopened bottles of water confiscated from me on my last trip, I showed up at the airport empty handed, assuming I'd be able to stock up once I was through security and near my gate. Surprise! Things didn't go quite as planned, and by the time the plane was taking off, I was ridiculously parched and suffering from Braxton-Hicks contractions. FAIL.
  • DON'T FAINT. As if long lines at security checkpoints didn't already suck enough, they put you at an increased risk of fainting. Sit on your suitcase, if you can, and don't be afraid to loudly announce that you need help if you start blacking out. Fainting during pregnancy is really common and won't hurt your baby, but obviously big falls or smashing blow to your head is something you should try to avoid. I also messed up on this one, nearly blacking out at a standing-room-only party. My doctor would seriously give me an F in travel, if he read my blogs.
  • TOULA, EAT SOMETHING. It's easy to eat like crap when you travel. Fast food, impulse-buy candy bars, sugary breakfast pastries and all the soda and coffee your system can handle. The problem is you're asking your body for kind of a lot here -- anxiety, early-morning flights, heavy luggage, walking, standing and OH YEAH, CREATING PRECIOUS HUMAN LIFE -- so try to opt for the healthiest choices possible, or pack your own snacks. Avoid excess sugar and sodium in particular, and try to pack as much protein and food of real substance in instead.
  • WALK IT OUT. Okay, so while standing in one place for too long is bad, so is SITTING in one place for too long. I know, I know. Go ahead and bite your pillow because it's all just too much to remember. If you fly, try to get an aisle seat (also better for ALL THE PEEING you'll do as a result of staying so nicely hydrated) and walk the aisles at least once an hour. Don't cross your legs while seated. Once you're at your destination, try to spend as much time as possible with your feet elevated to prevent swelling.
  • (I had a middle seat on my way out to California, but was just so grateful to be on the plane at all that I didn't protest, but instead stared at my sleeping seatmate with Eyes of Intensity, looking for any sign that she was awake, and then jumping up and over her any time I saw her eyelids open. On the way back I had a WINDOW seat, which is pretty much the worst idea ever, since my belly and I simply did not fit while trying to climb over a pair of elderly grandmothers who were watching some awful cooking show that involved the innards of a chicken on their in-flight entertainment systems. Luckily, a flight attendant found me an aisle seat in the back of the plane where I was free to get up to urinate to my little heart's content.)

    Oh Yeah, THIS: My sciatic nerve! Hello, old friend. I was wondering when you were going to show up and cause me UNBEARABLE PARALYZING PAIN.

    New This Time Around: My sciatic nerve! Last time I would get the occasional searing bit of pain down my butt and through my thigh. I could usually walk it off or roll over in bed for it to let up. Now I'm getting these crazy, extended bouts of nerve pain in my lower back, butt and BOTH legs. I can't even move enough on my own to attempt to walk it off, and generally have just sat there and rocked and moaned until the baby decided to move his precious little self over a few centimeters and relieved me of the pain.

    Pregnancy Video for the Week:

    - Childbirth Video: Simple Strategies for Coping with Early Labor


    Week Twenty-Six


    Published 07.15.2008 | Permanent Link | Comments (5)

    week26.jpgYour Baby:

    • Is almost two pounds. Celebrate this milestone with a two-pound box of chocolates. You know, in order to really get a good VISUAL.

    • Remember those early bubbly butterfly kicks? Yeah. Those have been replaced by something akin to a rabid mongoose flippin' out inside a burlap sack.

    • If you DO occasionally feel smaller, rhythmic movements in your belly, it's probably your baby hiccuping. Babies actually get hiccups from late in the first trimester on, but most women don't pick on them the second trimester or later.

    • All five senses are fully developed. Whoa.

    You:

    • Are in the last and final week of the second trimester! (At least according to the books I've chosen to listen to -- some mark the beginning of the third trimester as week 27, while some make you wait until week 28. Look, we're all big and lumpy and ridiculously cranky, let's get this final trimester STARTED.)

    • Of course, the end of the second trimester also marks the end of the so-called "honeymoon" phase of pregnancy, as the final three months can get awfully uncomfortable. Back and joint pain, swollen ankles, restless nights and Braxton-Hicks contractions, ahoy!

    • You'll gain about 1/2 inch in belly/fundal size EVERY WEEK from this point on, oh mah gah. I guess I should stop being so smug about those pre-pregnancy lowrise jeans I've been wearing (with just a little help from my trusty rubber band).

    • The books say we've gained about 16-22 pounds, so long as we've been following a "nutritious and sensible diet plan." Bite me, books.

    This past week I probably came as close to unabashedly loving pregnancy as I'll ever get. I am obviously, prominently pregnant but not freakishly so. My skin and hair have calmed down and I finally got my first "you're glowing!" compliment. (And it only took six months!) I'm not sleeping very well but I'm blissfully free of the terrible back pain and sciatica that plagued me last time. And I have not vomited in dang near a month, nor are my food and smell aversions as powerful and all-consuming as they've been for far too long.

    I've had enough energy to take my son to the playground AND to Target...all in the same day! I've gone out for dinner with friends and finally got my butt to the hair salon. I'm loving the more trendy, form-fitting maternity outfits that I'm so happy I treated myself to recently, second-trimester-I'll-probably-never-wear-this-again be damned. I look pretty good, I feel pretty good...so could I please just quit now while I'm ahead?

    This is exactly how a lot of women describe their entire second trimester, and I'm trying not to feel too cheated by the fact that this pregnancy seems to have been one long first trimester (nausea, headaches, peeing, not-ever-looking-as-pregnant-as-I-felt) followed by what will likely be a very short honeymoon period before the messy awkward explosion of the third trimester, the time of the giant belly and grunts and swelling and constant rubs and labor predictions from strangers (last time I couldn't even go to the grocery store without little Russian grandmothers praying over me against my will, since I looked fully cooked and overdue long before I actually was).

    When I started pitching and shaping the ideas for this column, I thought it would be pretty fun to keep running comparisons between my pregnancies, but I don't think I was really prepared for HOW VERY VERY DIFFERENT they would be. Sure, I knew better than to ever assume that any two pregnancies would be the same (I learned that lesson early on with my first pregnancy when I tried OTHER PEOPLE'S sure-fire morning sickness remedies with disastrous results), but I guess I still thought that MY pregnancies would at least vaguely resemble each other.

    My first pregnancy: 13 weeks or so of unrelenting, incurable all-day sickness. 10 pounds lost followed by textbook pound-a-week weight gain for a total of about 33 pounds. Due date predicted practically down to the hour. Craved chocolate pudding, hot salsa and Indian food. Hair mysteriously stopped shedding for entire duration of pregnancy. Was complete nervous wreck; husband still gets nightmares about "the whole nesting thing."

    This time: Five solid months of morning sickness, mostly controllable by constant eating and snacking, provided I could figure out the one acceptable food that wouldn't just make it worse. No weight loss, but also no real weight gain to speak of either -- six or seven pounds, tops. Migraines. Conflicting ultrasounds and no memory of The Momentous Evening (or morning! afternoon delight! it's anyone's guess!) means no real set-in-stone due date. Stubbornly breech baby kicking an entirely different set of organs. Craved black olives, caffeine and cheese. Absolutely disgusted by most meats, especially chicken and fish, but usually could always eat a hot dog or four. Hair is still shedding. Anxiety has mostly been minimal, save for some recurring weird-ass dreams; way more concerned about husband rearranging the dining room furniture than assembling the crib.

    Speaking of not-yet-completed nurseries, it's time for this week's registry checklist! Can't you just feel the excitement?

    NURSERY GEAR

    (I am assuming you know to buy a crib and some type of surface upon which to change diapers. Doesn't necessarily have to be an actual "changing table" or anything, but something flat and at a comfortable height for changing. Sure, sure, some people love to brag about how they just changed their baby's diapers on the floor or couch or bed and never needed a separate table, but I secretly think they're either forgetting or willfully withholding the stories about back strain and projectile poop on the furniture and their pillow and how it's really hard to keep the dog from eating the poopy diaper if you've got nowhere to chuck it except the floor.)

    Buy Now:

  • Crib bedding. DEFINITELY something to let someone else buy for you, because they can be insanely expensive, and are probably one of the dumbest things to spend a ton of money on, but I know. They are so cute. And preshus. And all that. I won't judge you for falling in love with the one with the little duckies and raindrops and four separate lacy layered crib skirts. (Ours has stars! And little moons! And luckily, held up really well and is getting used again.) Remember, though, that the only ESSENTIAL part of the sets is the sheet. Bumpers need to be removed once your baby can roll around, I'm still not entirely clear on what those thick quilted small blankets are for, since blankets are a no-no for a very long time, and crib skirts? Well, I found ours handy for hiding boxes and bags of outgrown clothes. And for looking preshus.
  • ALL THAT SAID, get about three or four fitted crib sheets.
  • And two waterproof mattress pads.
  • Oh, and a mattress. And no, there's no reason to spend an insane amount of money on a crib mattress, and don't let the SIDS-type marketing make you feel like a terrible parent for going with a basic model over some mattress that comes with its own central air conditioning unit.
  • Sleep positioner. I did like our sleep positioner though, and purchased another one recently. It makes me feel less selfish for really liking those cute little crib bumpers.
  • Crib mobile. Although it might clash with your pastel theme, go with bright colors and high contrast (black and white), or your baby really won't show much interest.
  • Contoured changing pad and about three or four covers. Nail it to your changing table or dresser, always use the buckle, and for another handy-dandy nursery tip: use a protective topcoat like Varathane on any nearby painted walls. Makes cleaning up little-boy pee-fountains and fingerpainted feces a breeze!
  • Some kind of diaper/wipes/cream organizational system, be it a diaper stacker, a caddy, a basket or even just some nice dividers for your drawers. Trust me, mid-diaper-change is SO NOT THE TIME to be struggling to find a washcloth or tube of Desitin.
  • A diaper pail. There will never, ever be a consensus on diaper pails, so I'm not even going to try beyond saying that yeah, you need SOMETHING. Something with a lid. (For the record, we did use a Diaper Genie and liked it just fine for quite a long time. When Noah was about a year we found that it seemed to be a bit outmatched and switched to a small metal pail with a lid, emptied it frequently and bagged anything particularly rank up using the Sassy scented diaper bags for maximum environmental havoc.)

    Buy Later:

  • Crib aquarium/music box. Fisher Price Ocean Wonders, dudes, or something similar. My universal assvice. No need to strap this into the crib on day one or anything, but it's AWESOME for older babies and toddlers, both for middle-of-the-night self-soothing, amusing themselves in the morning AND for traveling -- bring it along and make any strange bed feel just like home.
  • Batteries. Of course, when you buy it, just go ahead and buy more batteries than you can possibly imagine ever needing. Then go back and buy more. (Or opt for a rechargable station thingie.)
  • Flooring. Look, yeah, obviously you need a floor. But you don't need anything special ON that floor, and I'm really writing this specifically to my first-time pregnant self who was BESIDE HERSELF that her husband wouldn't commit to a lovely matching expensive area rug for her baby's nursery, EVEN THOUGH all that exposed hardwood was clearly a deathtrap and her baby was going to roll off the changing table and DIE because there wasn't some damn Pottery Barn rug there to soften his fall. When he got old enough to play on the floor, I used blankets, and then those foam alphabet letter things, all of which could easily be cleaned and/or replaced after terrible spit-up/poop/passive-aggressive-dog-who-was-really-not-happy-about-the-baby incidents. Now that Noah is three, I think he's ready for an actual rug, but probably just one from Flor, in case I need to replace a tile because DAMN, DOG, WE'RE NOT GETTING RID OF HIM, OKAY? STOP PEEING IN HIS ROOM EVERY CHANCE YOU GET.


    Pregnancy Video for the Week:
    - Childbirth Video: Pre-Labor and Understanding Cervical Changes & Effacement

    Don't forget to visit Amalah's Pregnancy Calendar from Weeks 22, 23, 24, and 25 when she first starts the Baby Registry Discussion.
    Also, don't forget to visit our Baby Products Reviews and Baby Names Search Engine.

  • Picking your Doctor or Midwife

    About this column

    Zero to Forty is a week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it. New installments will be published on Wednesdays, with other pregnancy-related content and ramblings to be published whenever the columnist can stay awake long enough to type themzzzzzz.

    The column is well-researched but not written by a health care professional. Consider it your internet BFF pregnancy guide. See our legal disclaimer below.

    About the author

    Amy Corbett Storch, aka Amalah, is a freelance writer and professional blogger from Washington, DC. She is currently knocked up with her second child, due in October. Her first child is still currently wearing diapers. Amy is currently wondering what she has gotten herself into now.

    Amy also writes Alpha Mom's Advice Smackdown.

    About the illustrations

    The Zero to Forty masthead and illustrations were created by the artist Brenda Ponnay aka Secret Agent Josephine. Brenda is very talented and these images are copyright-protected. You should hire her!

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