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Potty Training In the Real World

Oct29

by

Amy,

I love reading your blog and advice column. You actually helped me calm down and talk to my husband (calmly) about standing up to his parents. Even though she ended up seeing them twice in the visit to my parents (my mom had been up there and said their daughter had been cleaning since her boyfriend had been hanging around) and they broke the simple rules my husband and I agreed on but he needed that nudge to stand up to them and has been much better.

Anyway the real issue is potty training. My daughter is 21 months and we’ve been told she’s too young but she is definitely ready, age aside. She has been telling us for months when she has to pee, and gets upset when she does in her diaper and insists on sitting on the toilet afterwards, and she consistently wakes up dry from 2-4 hour naps. We’ve been putting it off trying to give her time to adjust to other milestones first. So we’ve given her time to get used to her twin bed (she could get in and out on her own before we put her in it, promise) and that was the final one we felt we needed to get done before potty training.

So we started potty training a week ago and it’s going miserably. She is holding it for ever! She will tell us she has to go and start spreading her legs and bouncing around and once we get to the toilet she cries and screams to get off. I try to calm her down and distract her and she’ll sit there forever and nothing, ten minutes after hopping off she’s peed or pooped all over the floor (we’re doing no clothes, underwear are just too distracting for her for some reason). We have potty seats in our living room and her bedroom for quick access and a reminder to her but she just plays with them. She has always followed us into the bathroom and watches us go. We have a “potty bell” so she knows it’s time to at least try to go. I push liquids, lots of watered down juice and milk and it is amazing how long she will hold 3 sippy cups of fluid! I bought M&Ms and I’ve had no reason to give her any so I started giving her one just for sitting on the toilet to maybe get her excited about it and no luck.

We’re being consistent. I just don’t know what we’re doing wrong, I mean she obviously doesn’t like peeing in her diaper or the floor but doesn’t realize there’s only one other alternative. The only thing I’ve noticed is she knows that if she can hold it long enough she will get a pull up at night, I figure she will eventually start holding it through the night like she did with nap plus I have a small washer and it takes 5 loads of laundry to wash everything on her bed or basically all day. Please tell me this will get better or I’m not doing it right. And I’m sorry if this is something you’ve covered I’ve searched the archives and couldn’t find anything like this.

Frustrated With The Potty

Oh, potty training! It really is the worst. And from where I sit, with two potty-trained children down and one still in diapers whom I have no intention of pushing out of diapers ANYTIME soon, things are actually going pretty typically for you. Yes, you hear story after smug story about kids who trained in a day or five days, but the reality is that it can really take a few weeks before you even hit the first “lightbulb” moment. Some people will probably chime in and say that your daughter is just too young, but she’s so borderline and showing enough signs of awareness/communication and you’ve put in a solid week of “being consistent” already, so I’d encourage you to keep with it. You’ve done all this work and by giving up and going back to diapers, you may very well be setting yourself up for an even bigger battle later, because she’ll know you will give up eventually if she doesn’t cooperate.

The whole “holding it” problem is a VERY common one (and there’s no single magic bullet solution for it, I’m afraid), but it’s actually — really and truly — a sign that your daughter IS ready to train. She CAN control her bladder and “where” she does and she can keep herself dry. You just have to get her to work through whatever other side issues she’s got going on that are keeping it from being a seamless transition from diapers to potty. (“Seamless transition” being the Mythical Flying Unicorn of potty training, by the way.) She might be scared of the potty (also common), she might be simply testing you in a battle of wills (OH YOU BET THAT’S COMMON), or she might simply not grasp the benefits of what you’re trying to do and need some baby-steps rewards in the meantime.

So I would continue doing what you’re doing, with a couple possible tweaks:

1) Put her back in underwear, distracting as they may be. Start talking up her “dry pants” Ask about her “dry pants.” Praise the freaking heavens out of her dry pants and make a big deal out of her dry pants. DRY PANTS! You can even give M&Ms or stickers for dry pants at first. Then do one reward for dry pants but TWO rewards for actually “going.” Warn her when she sits (or refuses to sit) on the potty that she needs to go or else she’ll have “wet pants,” and wet pants are SAD and NO FUN. (Not “bad” or “naughty.”) Since she hates being wet in a diaper, see how she reacts to a 10-minutes-after-a-potty-break accident in her big girl pants that you’ve spent ALL DAY praising her for. She (hopefully) won’t like it one bit, and in my experience, the accidents-while-clothed tend to have more impact than a mess on the floor.

2) Give her some responsibility post-accident. She needs to put her own soiled underwear in the hamper or laundry; she should help you mop up the mess on the floor. This isn’t some manual-labor shamefest or anything. Just be matter-of-fact about it that big girls need to clean up their toys and their potty messes, and hey! Next time, right? Next time we’re gonna get this stuff in the potty! DRY PAANNNNTS!

3) Pick a single potty style/location and stick with it. This isn’t anything you’re doing “wrong,” exactly, just a different approach. We NEVER had any luck with having multiple free-standing potty seats, for whatever reason. I think they just confused my kids more than anything. They watched us use the real toilet, but here! You pee in this small modified bucket thing in the dining room. Once we switched exclusively to the Baby Bjorn seat adapter on the full-sized toilets, we actually saw some progress. Your mileage may vary, of course: If your daughter seems scared of the real toilet, by all means stick with a small potty chair. Just move it into the bathroom (that’s where you want her to go, after all, and where you’ve been modeling all this time). Use the “dry pants” prompts as a reminder to her instead of the seat itself.

4) Get a good waterproof mattress pad for her bed, and consider covering her pull-up with a waterproof diaper cover or nighttime training pant. Accidents — especially at night, when she’s likely too young physiologically to keep herself dry even if she WANTS to — are par for the course. I’m sorry, for you and your overtaxed washer. Keep as little bedding and as few toys on her bed as the weather and her comfort allows.

5) Give yourselves a break. Does she have any other regular childcare provider? A babysitter, Grandma or some other “favorite” relative? Have them come watch her while you and the hubs go see a movie. (Argo is excellent!) Give them the rundown on your potty training approach and have them continue it. When your daughter sees that oh, EVERYBODY is going with the potty-training new world order, something might click and you’ll see some success. (Or even if it doesn’t work, hey, you guys got out of the house and away from the puddles and the tears for a few hours.)

Don’t give up! It’s always darkest before dawn — or maybe just the dampest. Your daughter’s breakthrough a-ha! moment could be right around the corner. Don’t beat yourself up because it’s taking longer than you thought — this is just the not-so-fun reality of what potty training looks like in the real world, for lots of kids and parents.

About the author

Amalah

http://www.amalah.com
Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy's daily mothering adventures at Amalah. Also, it's pronounced AIM-ah-lah.

If there is a question you would like answered on the Advice Smackdown, please submit it to amyadvice@gmail.com.

Amy also documented her second pregnancy (with Ezra) in our wildly popular Weekly Pregnancy Calendar, Zero to Forty.

Amy is mother to rising first-grader Noah, preschooler Ezra, and toddler Ike.


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30 Responses to “Potty Training In the Real World”

  1. Myriam Oct 29 at 11:58 am Reply Reply

    Frustrated With The Potty, I’m right there with you! My daughter is 22 months old, and has been showing a lot of signs of being ready since June. We have not started to “potty-train”, but we are encouraging her to sit on the potty before bath, and at each diaper change. She had no patience for it and will hop off in a matter of seconds. I work full-time and I did not ask the daycare provider to start that yet. We got lucky over the week-end when she actually peed in the toilet (we use the big one with a seat adapter)one time! I’ll keep up the encouragement, but will not “train” her over the winter (Canada = snowsuits = no fun when accidents happen). Maybe a quick reminder that even if she is physiologically ready, she might not be mentally… I would say, because you invested so much time and effort already, you have to keep going, it will be worth it BUT don’t see it as a failure on your part and get frustrated with it. A battle of the will between you and her will only lenghten the process. Try to keep your spirits up and PRAISE, as Amy said. She’ll get it, pretty much no matter what you do…

  2. Andrea Oct 29 at 12:10 pm Reply Reply

    One thing that worked well for my son, was that when he did actually go in the potty (even if it’s just a drop or two)….we made a HUGE deal out of it. We called every grandparent and he got to tell them what a big boy he was. They all got so excited for him, told him how proud they were, etc, etc. He was so proud of his accomplishment that he just wanted to keep doing it. M&Ms also worked, but I think the phone calls were the tipping point for him and it was smooth sailing after that!

  3. MR Oct 29 at 12:16 pm Reply Reply

    She tells you when she pees, doesn’t like a wet diaper, she is soooooo ready. So, don’t listen to the naysayers. But, ready does not mean it happens right away. She is holding it because it can be scarey for little kids and she doesn’t quite understand. Keep doing what you are doing. Have her sit on the potty every 30 minutes. Our deal was sit and try, and then get off. (yes, it usually resulted in her peeing two minutes after she got off the potty) At some point you WILL catch some pee in there and you can make a big deal over it. I made up some silly song that my dd loved. As annoying and frustrating as the accidents are, just take a “Oh well! You’ll get it next time!” approach and clean it up. The more you make it a big deal, the more it becomes a power struggle. I know it is really hard to keep up the “no big deal” attitude, heck, I wrote into Amy too when I was in the middle of it, and the advice she gave me totally worked. The “no big deal, you’ll get it eventually” attitude worked.
    Hang in there! Potty training isn’t supremely fun. My youngest is showing signs, we have already bought the potty and everything, but are waiting for winter when we hang out in the house most of the day anyway. But we aren’t looking forward to it, because argh! It can be frustrating.
    Side note: Home Depot sells toilet seats with a child seat built into the lid. It is magnetic so if an adult pulls up the lid, the kid seat goes with it, but if you pull the kid seat down they have a potty seat that looks and feels just like mommy/daddy’s and that is sturdy and doesn’t move. It is the BEST seat. And it isn’t that pricey. They have both oval and round and they look just plain white to everyone else. I can’t recommend it enough. Because even after they get the early mechanics down, having the smaller seat will be a necessity for years. And you can completely ignore it when you don’t need it because it is a regular toilet seat.

  4. cassie Oct 29 at 12:39 pm Reply Reply

    I’m gonna be the one person telling you NOT to sit her on the potty! My son (just shy of three and trained for a whopping 2 months now! heh.) showed all the same signs of ready. So hubby and I tried the plenty of juice, regular undies, plenty of timed tries, etc, etc. It was a horrible mess and the three of us ended the weekend frustrated beyond belief. The next day… we talked to him about the potty. We explained we’d try again in a month or so. No more timers, no more excessive juice, no more messes to clean up. We put off any pressure. And we popped him into a pull-up. Guess what? With all the pressure off, he asked to use the potty all day, used it successfully and kept that pull up dry and clean! Granted, there were some accident and issues after that first day – there’s always going to be a learning curve – but it STUCK. And we’ve been out off diapers and pull ups since!

    (That’s not saying that sticking to your guns might not be the way to go either. YMMV by kid. Stick with your gut. Ours said what we were doing wasn’t going to work and we were patient enough to say nope, we’re going to try again later. Our son just happened to decide later would be the next day.)

  5. Karlei Oct 29 at 1:18 pm Reply Reply

    Oh man, kids are so different I hesitate to share my experience, but we had something so similar happen with the holding, so here goes. My son would go forever without peeing. In the entire time we were initially trying to potty-train(weeks! months!) we only had three accidents in undies. He knew he would get a pull-up at nap and one at night and he’d just hold it until then. And then it was a lake of pee! Trying to make him sit on the potty was an epic battle of screaming and thrashing. He was also completely immune to candy bribes. So, like Cassie, we really dialed back the pressure. We made a chart and he got 1 sticker for sitting on the potty, 2 for peeing and 3 for pooping. Once he filled up the chart (earned 10 stickers) he got a toy. We showed him the chart, we showed him the stickers and the toys he could earn, we showed him the potty, and then we stepped back. We didn’t make him sit on it regularly, we’d ask him if he had to go every once in awhile, but only in a very mild tone of voice and never with any “are you sures” or pressure. If he did sit on it and/or do anything we made a HUGE DEAL. With clapping and singing and calling grandparents. After that, I’d say it took us a couple of weeks before he really got it, and he still doesn’t pee in the potty a ton, but he doesn’t have accidents and he doesn’t wear a pull-up for nap. Seems like some kids really respond to a really regimented potty program and it makes some kids dig in their heels. Just to keep us on our toes, I guess!

    • Olivia Oct 29 at 3:30 pm Reply Reply

      One thing that made me realize my daughter wasn’t really ready was that she earned one sticker like that and then after told me she didn’t want anymore stickers or prizes. *sigh* She’s a stubborn one.

  6. M Oct 29 at 1:25 pm Reply Reply

    In response to Amalah’s answer: word. When I potty-trained my son, I was sort of surprised that people do not talk more about how hard (and messy and gross and upsetting and MESSY) the whole process is. Good luck. For us, the major challenge, as Amalah indicates, was finding the right incentive and reward.

  7. Karen Oct 29 at 1:55 pm Reply Reply

    I’m going to be a naysayer here. My daughter did the same thing as yours at 20 months. Holding it, didn’t like to pee in her diaper, etc. But she was not mentally ready. Rewards, cleaning up, whatever – it made no difference to her. So we stopped all mention of the potty, M&M’s whatever. It just wasn’t worth the power struggle. Then just about at her third birthday we stripped her naked, put a potty on the floor in the living room and turned on a movie. It took 3.5 hours, but she finally went over, sat down, and peed. And that was the end of potty training for us. She has had one accident. Even through naps. I do actually think that kids can potty train quickly, as long as parents are willing to wait until the kid is truly ready. i have a friend whose kid potty trained in about a week at 21 months. But it was pretty straightforward for her – that’s a kid who was actually ready. So I guess you have to ask yourself – do you want to battle with your kid or do you want to battle with yourself (battling to keep your patience as you keep the kid in diapers). As hard as it was for me, I am so glad I decided to change a few more diapers rather than collapse in a heap of tears for weeks and months over potty training.

  8. Becky Oct 29 at 2:31 pm Reply Reply

    My daughter day trained at 22 months. 

    We did two things differently: only use the big potty (because kids potties are gross to me) and blueberry trainers. Expensive but worth it!  They feel like underwear but actually hold pee so you aren’t cleaning carpet, couches etc. but they get WET just like real undies. 

  9. Meaghan Oct 29 at 3:09 pm Reply Reply

    I am a naysayer. I don’t think she is as ready as she seems. She is definitely showing signs of readiness, but not quite there. The active resistance is the thing for me — you really don’t want this to become a power struggle. Amy offered some really good tips, but if it were me, I would just table it until after the holidays (it’s just so hectic to have potty training going on too) and then follow her strategy. Or depending on where you are, even wait until the weather is a little bit warmer – it is so much easier with dresses than pants.

    • Brooke Oct 31 at 1:31 pm Reply Reply

      I agree with Meaghan. This sounds like a power struggle to me, and one that you will lose with a 22 month-old. No one has control over her bladder but her. Use the great tips Amy gave you in a few months.

  10. Olivia Oct 29 at 3:26 pm Reply Reply

    My daughter was like Karen’s above; showed all the signs of being ready for months, but when we tried at 21 months she simply wasn’t ready. We went a full two weeks with no diapers, timers, rewards, etc and she only made it in the potty twice. So we went to pull ups which she could change herself when they were wet. And I think all the stuff we did to encourage her made things worse because it was another 6 months before she was ready to try again. It was just too much pressure. 

    The second time we tried we did our best to keep it low key and it still took a couple of days for her to make it to the potty. It was in a port-a-potty of all places and she finally tinkled a little. I clapped and said, “Yes! That’s what we want you to do!” My daughter replied, “Oh, THAT’s what you want?” I could see for all her “readiness” and watching me use the toilet, she hadn’t really put it all together until that moment. It took a few more days for her to understand pooping on the potty (because it requires more patience), but since then we’ve had only a couple of accidents.

  11. Olivia Oct 29 at 3:37 pm Reply Reply

    Also want to add that I’ve heard from various sources that stopping potty training and taking it up again later is perfectly fine. It’s better to stop and try again than to turn it into a battle with lots of yelling and/or tears. Yours or the child’s, because as much as you try to be chill about it, if you are frustrated the kid will probably sense it.

    • Karen Oct 29 at 4:14 pm Reply Reply

      Olivia – I think you and I have the same kid. :)

  12. Meg Oct 29 at 4:38 pm Reply Reply

    I know everyone has a book or a technique that they swear by, but I wanted to put a word in for Oh Crap Potty Training, by Jamie Glowacki. She’s got a website and an e-book, and it all made a ton of sense to me, and really seems to fit in with your approach so far. I agree with everyone else here – you’ve got a good start, so don’t go back now. It will be over soon!

  13. Jill Oct 29 at 6:34 pm Reply Reply

    I, too, say wait and try again.  My friend first tried with her daughter at about your daughter’s age and it was super frustrating on both ends.  She gave up and when she tried again three months later it was a cake walk.  
    Going with every kid is different: my oldest didn’t even start until 3 and then we just went with it.  He was excited about the potty and pez was our reward of choice.  But even then he had *a lot* of accidents.  It took months, honestly.  But I have other friends with boys who had the same experience, and now at almost 4 he still has accidents but I think they are more in line with 1) him being to distracted to remember to go and 2) my husband being military; whenever he’s gone the accidents ramp back up again and then stop when daddy gets home.

  14. Brigid Keely Oct 29 at 7:03 pm Reply Reply

    FWIW, I have a 3 1/2 year old boy. He’s about 99% potty trained. As distracting and potentially tangling as underpants can be, they helped him remember to use the potty. He was far more likely to pee on the floor when fully naked than when in underpants.

  15. Natalie Oct 30 at 10:57 am Reply Reply

    My daughter only started the potty training process about a month ago…at 3 y 9 m. before that she fought us like a cat trapped in a sack. Refused everything…bribes, rewards, begging…nothing worked she just wasn’t interested. Then one day a month ago my mom off handedly said something about yeast infections in the vicinity of my daughter and my daughter flipped out. She decided her grandma was talking about her getting an infection because of her diaper. She pulled that sucker off, marched into the bathroom, sat on the potty and went. AND WE ALL JUST STARED AT HER IN DISBELIEF. We still have had some accidents because she has a tendency to try and hold it while she is doing something fun and she is still not at all into pooping on the potty but that all seems pretty par for the course with potty training. I share because I think every kid is different and they are ready at different times and sometimes it just really takes a long time. We talk alot about breast feeding and cosleeping and all that but sometimes I feel like the same amount of time isn’t devoted to potty training and no one really tells you how it can break you.

  16. Kira Oct 30 at 2:12 pm Reply Reply

    I really try hard not to give advice, so I will just pass on the piece of wisdom that my grandmother gave me when we started potty training. She told me that by the time the kids move out, they will use the toilet. (I will also add that for my daughter, a “hands off” approach worked much better for us. She’s ‘day trained’ and 30 months. Every kid is so different.)

  17. Bonnie Oct 30 at 3:20 pm Reply Reply

    A friend trained her 20 month old using Oh Crap! Potty training (http://www.jamieglowacki.com) in a week, and after spreading the word I know several others who have had success as well. I swear, it’s the first time I’ve ever read a parenting book and everything has actually worked the way it’s supposed to. My 21 month old has been out of diapers for a month and a half, including (more recently) at night. 21 months is absolutely not too young to train. There is a strong case to be made, actually, for potty training sooner rather than later. Diapering for 2-3 years seems normal to us, because culturally it is, but worldwide and historically kids have been trained much earlier. I swear, buy that book, it addresses the issues you’re having. Best $15 I ever spent.

  18. Lindsay Oct 30 at 4:46 pm Reply Reply

    Thanks for posting this! My barely 19-month-old daughter just this weekend spontaneously decided to sit on her potty and pee in it. We’d had the potty a few weeks, and she’d sat on it fully clothed, but we hadn’t even talked about trying to get her to pee in it yet. We only got the potty because she had just learned the word for the big one, and we just wanted her to be used to seeing hers, so that some months down the road it wouldn’t be strange. Since then she’s pooped in it once, and peed a second time. So we’re trying to decide: are we potty training? She’s so young, but obviously the signs are seeming clear. For now we’re just going to let her use it when she asks (obviously) but that’s it. Other than praising her when she does use it, we aren’t doing anything to encourage it, like repeatedly asking if she wants to go, or giving rewards, or thinking of using underpants. I’m sure I’d have a different approach if she were older, but at 19 months I don’t want to push my luck.

  19. S Oct 30 at 5:36 pm Reply Reply

    Does your daughter have any toys/dolls/stuffed animals that she really likes?  Our daughter is a bit older (27 months) but loves showing her stuffed animals how it’s done.  So at least one will come with us whenever we go and hang out and “wait.”  She loves to announce to them when she’s all done, then show them how she wipes, washes her hands, etc.  

  20. MsHuisHerself Oct 30 at 11:50 pm Reply Reply

    The best practical tip I read for when you’re working on nighttime dryness (of course, after my two were done with all this) was to double-make the bed. Basically make the bed with (waterproof) mattress pad & bottom sheet & top sheet. Tuck in the top sheet around the edges. THEN COVER IT ALL WITH ANOTHER WATERPROOF MATTRESS PAD and continue with bottom sheet, top sheet, blankets, etc. as normal. Then, if/when your kid does have an accident in the night, you can just pull off the soiled bits and the topmost mattress pad, and VOILA! An already made (and clean) bed! Tuck ‘em back in, throw the yucky sheets in the washer (or wait until morning, I don’t care *grin*), and back to sweet, sweet sleep for you, too!

  21. Susan:) Oct 31 at 1:51 pm Reply Reply

    I don’t think she’s too young. Both my nieces were using the toilet by that age. But I kept them in diapers too. No power struggles. If they went in the diaper, fine. If they told me they had to go we went to the toilet. They were already used to the toilet because we started sitting them on it as soon as they could sit up! That way the toilet was never a strange, scary new thing for them. We did try putting them in undies at this age, because they showed every sign of being ready, hated going in their diaper etc, but still weren’t quite there. So instead of fighting it I just kept them in diapers until they were consistently making it to the potty to go. They were both out of diapers by two and a half with no accidents.

  22. Lizzie Nov 02 at 2:00 am Reply Reply

    I know this post is a few days old but just wanted to add my experience…my 2.5 year old was exactly as you described around her 2nd birthday. And we had a baby on the way, so we went for it. I put her in underwear, and she refused to go on the potty. But she also didn’t like peeing on herself, so she ended up holding it a lot and then not completely emptying her bladder even when she did have accidents. The result was a terrible bladder infection that took 2 rounds of antibiotics to clear because even after we put the diapers back on she was paranoid about peeing on herself/the floor/the chair/etc. I’m pretty convinced she is actually ready now (and fully realize she wasn’t then), but am nervous to try again. Nothing like the memory of your baby hysterically crying all night over the pain of a nasty UTI to make you gun shy about potty training…

  23. VG Nov 02 at 10:10 am Reply Reply

    I am totally feeling your pain OP. My daughter is 2 1/2, have been trying for months to get her to potty train. Bought pull-ups, no more diapers, I have piles of panties just waiting in the drawer for her and we’re all about the hit & miss. She LOVES the sticker rewards, but that doesn’t seem to get through. I put her in panties the other day since we were home together, and she did good for most of the day, until 3 – 5 p, we had 3 accidents in the span of 2 hours, I wanted to rip my hair out.
    Here’s a question: What do you do with a kid who DOESN’T tell you they have to go until AFTER??? Or when its obvious that they’ve messed in their pants, you ask them and they straight up LIE to your face??? Where’s the fast forward button….

    • cassie Nov 05 at 4:14 pm Reply Reply

      Well, the first thing I’d do is make sure not to make a big deal about the accidents and lying. Just keep it neutral. “Ok, we had an accident, let’s get cleaned up and we’ll do better next time” and that’s it. But yeah… a lot of it is just suffering through the clean ups with the thought in the the back of your head that it just HAS to get better eventually, right? (It does! It really does! It just takes time. Hang in there.)

  24. Mai Nov 03 at 8:08 pm Reply Reply

    We had a slightly different approach, that work well for us, so I thought I’d share, in case anything resonates with you about it. (just read it back, and wrote a novel, sorry)
    My daughter starting ‘telling’ us that she needed to go at about 14 months – she didn’t have words yet, but she would pull on her diaper or do this funny squat thingy before she needed to go, and then be upset with a dirty diaper. She also was dry after almost every nap, but would need to go soon after waking up. When he was 15 months we started introducing her to the potty only after nap, when we knew she needed to go. Straight from crib to potty. She would pee almost without a fail, and we would give her tons of praise and make a big deal out of it. No added pressure to go any other time, unless she indicated that she wanted to. We taught her to knock on the bathroom door when she needed to go, so that we would understand her. the potty is and stays in the bathroom. It didn’t take very long that she was asking to use the potty most times, and first poop happened about two weeks after we started.
    At 17 months she went to using pants during the day, and now at 28 months she’s finally ready to go through the night without the diaper – we’ve done two dry nights in a row without one, so fx she’ll keep it up.
    So, no stickers, toys or candy, just praise and no pressure worked great for us. It wasn’t an over night solution by any means, but also didn’t turn into a battle of minds :)
    Good luck!

  25. Manda Nov 06 at 12:13 am Reply Reply

    Jumping in here and onto the ‘if she’s telling you she’s ready then she’s ready’ band wagon.  My good friend’s son showed interest in the potty at around 18 months but his pediatrician said it was too early so they stopped.  Fast forward now to him being three next week and even the coolest fancy elmo potty will not keep his interest and the potty training battle gently rages on.

    I would also like to insert here that not all that long ago (50+ years) in this country (and currently in most of the rest of the world), most babies were potty trained by 12-18 months.  It’s the invention of extremely absorbent and dry feeling disposables that has lengthened this process so badly.

    Another fried of mine did full time elimination communication with all three of her girls and they were night time dry by 8 months and day time dry by 12.  We do it part time with my 15 month old (started when she was 6 months) and she’s doing pretty well.  She knows what she is supposed to do on the potty but we still have misses during diaper free time.  

    The point there is just to say that 21months is by no means too early.  For those with babies 18 months and younger who are interested, this is a great tool.  http://ecsimplified.com/  And for those over 18 months, she suggests this resource for ‘early’ potty training: 

  26. KelleyD Nov 22 at 12:50 am Reply Reply

    Goodnites brand makes awesome pee pads for beds. They have adhesive on the four corners so they don’t shift and bunch. Kind of pricey, but Target frequently on sale and coupons for them too. They have been the lifesaver with our oldest. We hit age 6 with him stil being in a pull-up overnight (again goidnites brand) because he always wet the bed. and quite y I was tired of spending the money in them. I bought one more pack of the pull ups and yold him when it was gone we were done with them. And apparently going cold turkey was what it took. He still had a looooot of accidents early on, but maybe once or twice a week now at most. Probably not even that! Now I just have to get him off his dependence of the pee pads!

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