The Time I Gave Really Bad Parenting Advice
I gave terrible advice to my coworker one time. It wasn’t general advice that I gave, it was parenting advice. Oh, and did I mention this was years ago, long before I had any children of my own?
I was so sure of myself. She was having trouble with her baby’s sleep situation, and I was glad to offer my advice. It didn’t concern me that I didn’t have firsthand experience; I was certain that in this case, I knew more than she did.
I had read about her problem in a book.
Wait, it probably wasn’t a book because I don’t think I had read any parenting books at the time. It might have been a magazine article, but whatever, everyone KNEW this was the RIGHT way, and if she didn’t follow this conventional wisdom, she would be sorry later.
I regretted it, especially later when I had a baby and faced the same situation.
Another time, more recently, a friend was trying to figure out a good fitness routine for herself. She was trying to get back into shape, and she wondered if she might be overdoing it?
I don’t know much of anything about getting into shape. The last time I remember doing a sit up was back in 2005. This time, I knew better than to offer my opinion when I didn’t have experience to back it up.
I can offer encouragement, in some special cases I can offer experience, and only when asked will I share an opinion. Most of the time I just try to give benefit of the doubt because that’s what I want.
I don’t really care about conventional wisdom any more. More parenting experience teaches me that every child is unique, and there is no formula.
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9 Responses to “The Time I Gave Really Bad Parenting Advice”
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Feb 08
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Oh, weren’t we all parenting experts before we became parents? I used to LOVE watching Supernanny because I adored the way she would march into the home and be like, “HELLO, DUH, YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING WRONG.” Her “isn’t this obvious?” routine really spoke to my pre-parenthood sureness about how parenting should be done. I haven’t seen it lately but I think I would probably want to punch her in the face…
I have a friend who always says…”this is how I would do it if I ever decided to have kids….” Which she has decided she never will. And I think after 3 (expecting #4), I know a little bit more than she does. I just always smile sweetly and say “good luck with that”.
Hilarious. Now if I can only remember to apply it.
Love this. It’s simple, but too many of us don’t think of it! I am going to save more of my opinions too. (Except on my blog, haha, because that’s what blogs are for, and people can self-select.
I made a resolution within the last couple of years not to offer advice unless specifically asked for it. Blogging excepted, of course.
So wise, Rachel! I’ve learned that life tends to challenge me on anything I’m too opinionated on, so I try to be more careful about passing judgement on anything these days
And isn’t it amazing how much parenting advice is conflicting – sometimes downright opposite ideas about the same things.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today! Thank you.
Sure but WHAT exactly was your bad advice?