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We've Got Each Other. And That's All That Really Matters.

We’ve Got Each Other. And That’s All That Really Matters.

By Kristen Chase

So a few weeks ago, I found out that I am going to have to move. Well, unless I wanted to purchase the home I’m currently living in, which while has served me well and I was hoping would serve me well for a couple more years, isn’t something I want to actually own.

I’m perfectly happy renting a home, mostly anyway, which is something that seems to baffle most people, at least in the suburbs. I realize that real estate agents make no money off of finding someone a rental home, and it’s their job to at least ask if I want to buy a home, but after awhile, the question gets old.

But it’s hard to get the “why don’t you buy a house?” question, coupled with the guilt I’m feeling for having to move my kids, especially that it will involve a new school, even though we’re going literally 2 miles down the road (yes, I counted).

I am single, and I like the idea of just calling someone to fix things. Also, the idea of home ownership scares me, especially after having to pay someone a lot of money to take my home in Atlanta.

And so, renting it is for me right now, and perhaps for a long time, which also means there’s the chance I will have to move.

Hence the position I find myself in.

As you might guess, I tried, desperately, to find an option that kept my kids at their same school, then another option that would keep my oldest at the same school (if I could find a place that fed into the same middle school).

But where I picked to live isn’t much of a rental community, and so, after weeks of losing sleep and probably more hair than I already was (yay hormones!), I found a wonderful place that’s considered more “in-town.” We can walk to shops, restaurants, the library, you get the idea. And the new schools are just a hop, skip, and short bike ride away.

I’m finally excited. I think.

I’ve spent the two years since I moved trying to create a stable environment for my kids in a time that was incredibly unstable, and so, the hardest part of all this is not the inconvenience, the money involved, or any of that, but rather, the shift for my kids who have come to be in a good place in their lives.

I’ve also come to be in a good place too.

And then I’m reminded, by friends, dear sweet friends, that it wasn’t the house that did that. It was the family of five we’ve created, the routines and rituals, the traditions we now share, that brought us to the place we’re in.

I love my life and a day doesn’t go by that I don’t feel thankful for what life has afforded me, so much good — some given, lots earned — that this is really just a small blip in our lives.

It will be hard and there will be bumps, but we’ve got each other. And as cliche’ as that might sound, it is all that really matters.

Kristen Chase
About the Author

Kristen Chase

Kristen Chase is a writer, author, and a single mom of four. It’s as exhausting as it sounds (at least the mom part). Also, awesome.

Kristen is also co-founder of

Kristen Chase is a writer, author, and a single mom of four. It’s as exhausting as it sounds (at least the mom part). Also, awesome.

Kristen is also co-founder of Cool Mom Picks and author of The Mominatrix’s Guide to Sex.

 

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Comments

  • Kay

    Thank you for this – I needed it today! We’re in a similar situation, just informed that the landlord intends to sell the property and given very little notice to find a new rental in an area where most people own. I hope the move goes smoothly and you all enjoy the new area!

    • Oh Kay! I’m sorry. It’s such a hassle, isn’t it? I hope things go smoothly for you too. 

  • Rachel

    I think there’s an odd stigma against renting, especially once you’re out of your twenties or have children. But I think renting has many advantages, including making it easier to move if you need to, not being on the hook trying to sell a property in a potentially bad market, and being able to call someone else if there’s a problem that needs fixing. Personally, it’s nice to know I’m not going to be worrying about the money to fix a major structural problem like rot or flooding.

  • I think that you are amazing. Whether you are paying a bank or a landlord, you are still in your home. xo

  • Rachel, You are so right, but especially it seems in the suburbs. I too love knowing that when something breaks I can just call someone who will magically fix it for me. There is much peace in that.

  • Norm

    Hey, wrt changing schools – in our district they have a continuity rule that says your kids can stay in their old school if you have to move – provided you want to. I suspect this might be true for you too? Congrats on finding a new place. I have a horror of moving (and/or losing my home) so I quite sympathize with the difficulty of all this, particularly with the littles.

    • Thanks Norm! And Andrea below. I spoke with the district and basically, the only situation in which they would let us stay would be for my oldest (5th grade) if we found a place that fed into the middle school she would go to in 7th grade. They said they’ve never seen it approved for the others. Bummer! But trying to keep an open mind as the school does have a great reputation! 

  • Andrea

    It’s worth seeing if the neighboring district has any reciprocity. In South Jersey, you can do this if a) there is space and b) you pay difference in taxes if any. Not sure how that works with renting, though.

  • Amelia Sprout

    There are so many times (hello stucco falling down) when i wish we rented.  Or that we had a condo so I didn’t have to repair anything.  But I love my garden, and not having to move.  but I also wish I had a reason to feed my stir crazy nature.  Good luck with the move, and the kids will be fine.  They can keep friends, and all of that walking will be so good for them.