Toddler

Nighttime Potty Training

Hi Amy-

You’ve helped me before when we were potty training our daughter and about to head out on a trip (Potty Training and Travel). Now that our daughter has been potty trained for about a year, she is STILL peeing in pull ups during naps and nighttime. It’s driving me insane. In the last week, four nights in a row the overnight pull up exploded and all those stupid gross gel crystals were EVERYWHERE. Its creating way too much laundry and cleanup, and that gel crap irritates my daughter’s skin.

So how how how in the world do we get her to stop peeing overnight? During naps?

She is occasionally dry when she wakes up from a nap, but usually that’s when I have to actually go in there and wake her up for some reason. Which is telling me that when she wakes up on her own, she’s peeing then. I’ve considered putting her back in cloth diapers (which we used when she was small) for naps, but that requires me to have to actually dig out the box they are in. Plus I’m wary that she’d be annoyed by the wetness and just not sleep, and I need that naptime!

Her bedtime is 8pm, so should we stop allowing drinks at 7pm? 6pm? I have no idea. Do we wake her in the middle of the night to go pee on the toilet? Cloth diapers overnight?

Do I just wait this whole thing out? And in the meantime do tons of laundry and keep throwing my money away on stupid pull ups?

Thank you!

You don’t mention how old your daughter is right now — doing some rough math from the column you mentioned would put her at two and a half? ish? — but for the record, I have read statistics about kids and overnight bladder control and…well, they aren’t the most encouraging thing for those currently in the waiting-to-ditch-the-pull-ups trenches. Basically, it can take until age five or even six, for some kids. (Thank you, Google, for here it is: 66 percent of children under three can control their bladders at night; approximately 85 percent of children under six can do so, which means about 15% of five-year-olds will still have accidents in bed and that’s perfectly normal — their bodies just haven’t yet developed the necessary link between bladder and brain that will wake them up when they have to go.)

So a year after daytime potty training, at still under three years old, sounds pretty normal to me. Noah didn’t overnight potty train until closer to three and a half. It happened much earlier with Ezra, at just under three, but I don’t think it was because of anything we *did.* His body and brain were ready — not to mention he VERY QUICKLY figured out that potty breaks were an acceptable stalling technique at bedtime and would come out of his room over and over again to go and go and go so once he went to sleep, there was NOTHING left. And then Noah would wake up and climb out of bed to use the bathroom and Ezra figured out he should follow suit.

BUT. Since you suspect your daughter is actually staying dry while she sleeps but is waiting until she wakes up to go, perhaps it is worth seeing if you can gently encourage her to break that habit. Personally, I would definitely ditch the pull-ups. They aren’t serving their intended purpose here, which is to mimic underwear that can contain the occasional accident but still allow the child to, you know, pull them up and down by themselves. Your daughter is using it as a straight-up diaper, and they aren’t diapers. Obviously. They explode and leak and cost a ton more money than your average disposable diaper, so you’re basically throwing money at something that’s not at all appropriate for what it’s being used for. The marketing has us all trained to think that all potty-training kids should wear pull-ups, when really, they serve a specific purpose for a specific segment of potty-training kids, and that’s it. (They’re great for a kid who consistently pees in the potty but is maybe delaying the pooping part, for example, or as a back-up during long car rides.) But if your kid isn’t actually treating them like underwear at least some of the time, why bother?

There are two possible approaches here:

1. Go cold turkey and see what happens. Is she going after she wakes up simply because she can go in pull-ups? If she realizes that oh no, there’s nothing to prevent a full-on bedwetting disaster, will she get up at use the potty? I’m on the fence about this one for you since it doesn’t sound like the exploding leaky pull-up disasters bother her all that much, but I offer it up because that is what worked for us with Ezra, who was pulling a similar my-bed-is-cozy-I-don’t-feel-like-getting-up routine in the morning. Once we removed the safety net, so to speak, he figured it out real quick.

2. Put her back in the cloth diapers and see what happens. Noah night-trained fairly soon after I got fed up with pull-ups and started putting him in the one-size cloth diapers (but of course that could have just been a coincidence given his age). Your daughter might object to the “babyishness” of them and make a concentrated effort to prove she doesn’t need them. (I’d implement a sticker chart or token system at the same time, giving her a goal of keeping the diaper dry for a certain number of naps, then nighttime.) She might not notice the difference until she goes and be bothered by the wetness, as you fear, but which will bother you more — a temporary nap interruption for a few days? Or continuing on your current course of leaks and laundry?

If absolutely neither of those things happen, then you have your sign that she most likely just isn’t physiologically ready to night potty train. Which is fine! Put her in something that won’t leak at night for your sanity’s sake and revisit the topic in a month or two.

No matter what, it IS a good idea to limit liquid intake before bed — at least an hour, maybe two. Always make her use the potty as close to bedtime as possible, and then strictly enforce the no-drinks policy after that, since it will give her the best chance at success. If she has a consistent waking time, set your alarm for about 10 or 15 minutes before and wake her up and escort her to the potty, to help her break that going-after-waking habit. Lots of praise and encouragement. Remember: Nighttime potty training is a COMPLETELY different animal than daytime potty training, since you’re relying on an important physiological development instead of just your child’s temperament and interest in being a big kid. It WILL happen, I promise.

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Olivia

12 years ago

We are going to go for potty training over the holiday break with my 2.5 yr old. I’m hoping that since she has woken up with dry diapers over night and during naps for over a year (it’s usually 30-60 min before she pees after waking), night time accidents won’t be a problem.

Are those special pants for older bed wetters a better option than pull-ups?

Ashley

When my 2.5 year old trained this summer I was on the fence about night time. Her diaper was always super soaked in the morning. But a couple months later we just thought we might as well try it. So we talked about it for a couple days ahead of time then did it. No diapers at night. And you know what? No accidents. What? I guess she knew that she couldn’t pee, so she didn’t. She can even hold it for an hour or two after she wakes up. It’s ridiculous.

Jeannie

Not to freak out the OP but my son didn’t give up the nighttime diaper until he was almost 5. Yeah, there was definitely some aspect of his peeing upon waking just because he could, but there was also just plain old he wasn’t ready physiologically. I’d say get out the diapers. Either she just isn’t ready and then the diapers will stop your leaking issue, or she’ll balk at the “baby-ish” aspect and stop peeing at nap time: it’s win-win either way! And don’t push it. From what I’ve read that’s just the best way to make her anxious… Read more »

Megan

We seem to have just mastered this hurdle. My daughter potty trained at 28 months – in a day. She was fine at naps. And she was good at night if we woke her at 11 or so. And we did that for a while – I was up with a new baby, it was no big deal. But once he started sleeping through the night, I wanted to go to bed earlier. And when we started waking her earlier, we had a ton of accidents. So…I kept putting her in underwear, with a pullup over the underpants. So if… Read more »

Michal

If you decide to put her back in diapers…Huggies makes a slip on diaper. My 3 yo wears those. The convenience of pull ups with the staying power of diapers. She just isnt physiologically ready to be dry at night. They are cheaper than pull up too!

sonja lange

just fyi, my two oldest boys were 7 before they were completely night trained, it was a long road, but the doc said it can just take some kids awhile for their little bodies to make that leap so we waited and changed pullups and sheets forever…good luck!

DMD

I was going to mention the same thing as Michal – the Huggies pull-up diapers! We use them when we’re out and about because my son refuses to lay down on a changing table. He holds his head up and strains his neck – even if I cushion it. And I don’t like carrying around heavy cloth diapers. Anyway … she may leak through those Huggies ones because they’re not as absorbent as regular disposables, but waaaaaay better than pull-up crystal-explosions (and cheaper, too!).

Michelle

Pampers has overnight diapers than I used at night. My youngest son potty-trained really early at 22 months but is just now able to make it through nap dry at 28 months. He woke up dry this morning but I don’t plan on trying the night train him until he is waking up dry at least 50% of the time. My older son was potty trained and dry at naps by 2.5 but he was a little past 3 when he finally night-trained. Definitely try having your daughter potty right before naps and bedtime. Can you just plan on waking… Read more »

Sarah Huckablog

Oy. Yeah, so my kid that turned five in August? Still wet 9 out of ten nights. He potty trained during the day and even naps at about 2 1/2. So. FOR OVER HALF HIS LIFE?! Wet the bed. We buy the goodnight things because that is the only thing that contains the pee. Dr. says it is normal so we still make him pee if he wakes up, and cut drinks two hours before bed……no such luck. I am choosing not to worry about it and hoping he does not go to college in pull ups.

Liz

We are in the middle of this right now. My daughter, who is now 3.5 yrs, day trained at 27 months. She still slept in a crib so we kept the diapers on for nap and night. After we moved this summer, she graduated to a big girl bed and was in pull-ups for nap and night still. I started to get really fed up with it about 3-4 weeks ago since it seemed like she could probably hold it but was choosing not to. She was also refusing to pee before bed because she knew she’d be wearing a… Read more »

Francesca

When my younger sister was daytime-potty-trained, the most effective way of making sure she didn’t wet the bed at night was my parents half-waking her and taking her to the bathroom just as they went to bed. Didn’t interfere with her sleep much either. Worth it as a part-time solution?

MLB

My son who turned 5 in May still wets the bed. I talked to his doctor and was also told the issue is how we choose to manage it, that it’s maturational and there is nothing we can do to speed it up. I’ve known of 7 year olds that have issues with this. Every kid is different though and if you want to try no diaper at night go for it. Every once in a while we try my son out with underwear for the night and do that until he goes through a wetting process again. It’s trial… Read more »

I’m sure you can tell by the comments that there is no one way to do this since kids are so different in terms of developmental readiness for potty training. I’ll just add my experience, your mileage may vary. My daughter started going poop in the toilet on vacation around 28 months, so we decided to move forward on potty training the next weekend. Our daycare provider suggested two things – potty training in three days, and NO pullups or diapers, even at night/nap. We thought she must be crazy. But we decided to try it. It worked for my… Read more »

Jillian

My newly 4-year-old son still wears a pull-up every night, and wakes up wet every morning. For our family, that $1/day pull-up habit is buying us a good night of sleep. We struggled for years to get him to sleep through the night, and that’s the priority for us. Part of his bedtime ritual is drinking a glass of water in bed right before he lays down. If he wanted me bake him a cake every night I’d probably do it if it meant he’d go to sleep and stay asleep. I cannot even imagine waking him up to take… Read more »

Kari Weber

My son, Zach is 6 1/2. First, he potty trained late… Between 3 and 4… But still wets the bed. Finally, we had enough of the Pull ups expense and decided to go cold turkey. He just is a deep sleeper and seems to not wake up. My tip: waterproof pad (not mattress cover, just the like 3 by 3 foot square pads you buy in a pack of two at Babies R Us…) fitted sheet, water proof pad, fitted sheet, waterproof pad, fitted sheet, etc. I put like at least four sheets on at once. The good thing? If… Read more »

Penny

I just wanted to add, that sometimes it’s a developmental issue. I was probably 10 or so before I would/could wake up to go or hold it through the night. I was medicated to help, as was my sister. Please be sure not punish your child and remember that sometimes it’s a developmental delay. I know no one has said anything about punishing for this, but there are other readers out in innerweb land. FWIW, I was typically developing in every other way, but bladder control was poor.

madhu

i’m in the process of night training my 2.4 yr old and i do sort of semi-wake him up at around 11.30 in the night for him to pee. he doesnt need to wake up completely…and once he does that mid night loo trip…he is dry till morning.

we havent reached the stage where he can get up himself and go and pee….but i think he’s a lil young for that. So right now loo breaks have to be pre-emptive

erin

my daughter turned 3 in september and has been potty trained since right around that birthday. i just went cold turkey and put her in panties all the time until she got it, took her to the potty every 1/2 hour. we had tried using pull ups at 2 1/2 or so, and it became something fancy to pee in and never go to the potty. so it was a messy 2 weeks, and then 1 more for poop, but so worth it now. she potty trained at night at the same time. after dinner i cut off all fluids… Read more »

Marie

9 years ago

Hello Penny , your remarks were helpful to me, I assumed my four year old going on five was being lazy, we have gone cold turkey on her since she was 2 years old but at night it just doesn’t seem to work out. Even for nap time the accidents are rare, so I started to re potty train her by making her sit on the toilet, taking away things she liked, not giving her desert.For the successful nights I would have to get up at around 4 am every night to wake her up to stop the problem. So… Read more »

Potty Training Tips For Boys - Posh in Progress

8 years ago

[…] hours, and only every now and then can hold it through the night. It is fairly common for kids to wear diapers at night even when they are potty trained during the […]

Kari

I know bedwetting as I did it until age 9 almost 10 and I have 2 now ages 5 and 7 who both do it, Pampers 7 work for us and there are no leaks. My mom used cloth and plastic pants on me until I stopped.

There should never be any shaming for bedwetting as the child cannot help it. Patience and a loving atmosphere are the best things.

Nighttime Potty Training

There are two possible approaches here:

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