I Am Moved

I moved this past weekend.

Or really, past couple of weeks. My idea of starting my new lease two weeks before my old one ended was really a brilliant idea pat pat but that also meant two weeks of transporting and cleaning and unpacking and that’s not generally the way I work.

Let’s just say I wrote my Master’s thesis in one extremely long 12-hour day.

But it’s done. Well, mostly anyway, because there are four kids involved in a smaller but way cooler space.

I was pretty emotional leaving my old home, not necessarily because I’d miss the actual house. As outdated as it was, and sort of more like a box to me than a home, it served me well during what was an extremely difficult transition in my life.

And so, saying good-bye to it felt a lot like saying good-bye to a couple of the most challenging years. Challenging, heartwrenching, but yes, still pretty awesome years.

My kids grew up.

Bridget ditched baby bottles and diapers in that house. That is also why I ditched her mattress before I moved.

Margot came into her own, stepping out from behind the shadow of her older siblings and establishing her spot as a big thinker and innovator in her kindergarten class, award and all.

Drew learned how to rollerblade, which led him to one of his favorite things ever: Ice hockey.

And Quinlan masterfully turned what was an extremely difficult 4th grade year into showing her 5th grade year who was boss.

But it wasn’t just the kids that grew up. I did too.

I learned how to survive as a single mom, to ask for help when I need it, to be thankful for every single thing that I have. I learned what it was like to have my heart broken, then to put myself first for once and figure out what it is that I want — in my work and my personal life.

It’s fitting that I’ve moved into a place that feels like me. Like home, even though I just got there a few days ago.

Because I’m finally feeling like me, too.

I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I wish this current me was a few pounds lighter (or like ten) and a few many hundred hours more well rested.

I could do with a lot less stress too.

But I’m in a really good place right now. And for that, I am grateful.