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Outnumbered at the Airport

Jul27

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Advice Smackdown ArchivesDear Amy,

Next month I am traveling with my two sons (who will be five months, and three years respectively when we go) to visit my extended family, and introduce the baby to the rest of the clan.  We’re flying…with a connection.  This is kind of a surprise trip, suggested by my husband who knows that it’s really important to me that my grandfather get to meet his great-grandson.  I’m psyched and more than a little terrified since it’s just going to be me and the two kids.

So, how do you suggest I go about this?  I’ll need to bring both carseats for the kiddos since the toddler sits in one on the plane, and my family doesn’t have any that I can borrow once we’re on the ground.  Also, my older son is a peanut and so a booster seat isn’t possible.  So…bring the ginormous double stroller and hope that I can strap enough stuff on my back to make me a legitimate sherpa?  Or bring the single stroller, wear the baby, and hope for the best?  My three year old likes to run in wide open spaces (ie. airports) so I kind of think I need a stroller just to cage the monkey.

Beyond that, I’ve never traveled by air with an infant and it kind of scares me.  While I don’t want to be that lady with thosekids, I fully accept that it’s a strong possibility.

Mostly, I need reassurance.  Am I epically stupid to try and make this trip solo?  I know I really want to see my family, but I also don’t want to be a complete basketcase (I am completely okay being a partial basketcase) before we’re even through security.

Any tips or suggestions that you might have?

(Also, your boys are adorable).

Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Emily

Here’s the funny thing about me: I’m not a nervous flyer. But I would say I’m a nervous TRAVELER. But only, really, when it comes to navigating airports and train stations. I get all bogged down in worries about long lines and security checks and finding my gate and screwed-up tickets and seat assignments and generally just obsess over everything that could possibly go wrong.

It sounds like we could be twins — you seem pretty zen and accepting about the actual flying-on-the-plane-with-two-kids bit, which is good, and we’ve covered that topic before here.  But you sound more worried about the crazy logistics of getting said two kids and all their related accessories through the airport and ONTO the plane. YOU AND ME BOTH, SISTER.

First, let me suggest you consider this handy little contraption for your toddler’s carseat, the incredibly generically named “Traveling Toddler Car Seat Travel Accessory.” This is what we used for Ezra’s carseat when we flew to Jamaica (also with a connection). We’d originally planned to get one of the accessories that simply turns a carseat into a stroller, but found that most of them were close to $100 — more than we wanted to spend, honestly. So instead we went with the much, much cheaper option that is essentially a strong strap that allows you to fasten the seat to a wheeled carry-on-sized suitcase. A suitcase we then filled with stuff we’d need for the kids, like extra snacks and DVDs and toys and diapers and changes of clothes, and were able to streamline the contents of our diaper bag instead of shoving EVERYTHING we might possibly want or need during two flights and a connection into a heavy shoulder bag.

I LOVE this thing. It was relatively painless to unhook at security to send the suitcase and seat through, and that was our only truly anxiety-inducing moment when we had TWO UNRESTRAINED CHILDREN to deal with. But people were nice and even though I wasn’t solo, folks in line totally helped me get the seat up on the x-ray and blocked Ezra’s escape path until my shoes were off and I was able to corral him through the line.

Other than that, we kept Ezra and his carseat fastened to the suitcase all the way down the plane aisles to our seats (we have a Britax, and it fit), and then we quickly unhooked the seat, plopped it (and Ezra) down and put the suitcase in the overhead bin. We were given priority boarding as a family with small children, but I was surprised at how little time that actually gives you before other passengers board and you can officially become “in the way” if you’re still trying to lug carseats down the aisle after gate-checking a stroller.

So personally, if I were you, I’d wear the baby, strap the toddler to the carseat attached to a suitcase and bring one nice-sized diaper bag. Don’t pack that bag too heavy (keep stuff in the suitcase and then move it over at the gate on an as-needed basis). If you need an actual stroller for the trip, check it along with your luggage, or have your family buy an inexpensive umbrella stroller or check yard sales or Craigslist for something used.

Same for the baby’s car seat. Since it sounds like you plan to bring the baby on the plane as a lap child no matter what, I REALLY suggest you figure out a way to leave your carseat behind and procure one at your destination. (If not…I’m sorry that basically all my advice is useless, because I have no idea how one could haul an infant seat as well, short of leaving the base behind and wearing it like a backpack with the straps, but oh my holy hell that’s a lot stuff for one person who is also in charge of two little people. Commenters?) So your immediate family doesn’t own one, but I AM SURE they could find one for you. Put them to work tracking one down, along with the stroller. Ask neighbors/friends/people-from-church with slightly older children (or visiting grandchildren) if they still have an infant seat hanging around the basement.

While secondhand car seats tend to get treated as OMG SCARY DANGEROUS DEATH TRAPS, it is generally considered perfectly safe to use a seat for a good six years before it’s recommended you retire it. Infant seats are in use for all of six months to a year, so it’s pretty likely your family will be able to track down an acceptable seat that is no longer being used for a baby  but still not past its expiration date.

Otherwise, I’d say just check your  infant carseat with your luggage. (At that point you’ll still have your husband with you to help, right? He will of course stay with you and help you carry everything up until the security line, right? Right.) But you’ll want to check ahead of time and see if your airline considers carseats and strollers as part of your baggage allowance. Some do, some don’t. If your airline does not, score! Check suitcase(s), infant seat, stroller with aid of husband. Proceed to gate with toddler seat strapped to carry-on, baby in your most comfortable carrier, diaper bag. Insist that a family member meet you at baggage claim in the destination airport to collect everything and help you out to the car.

If your airline DOES count strollers and carseats and checking them will result in like, $50 fees both ways, beg your family to do a little beg/borrow/steal action, and barring success at that, buy an inexpensive car seat and cheap-o stroller on Amazon and have them sent directly to your family.  (Here’s a Prime-eligible convertible car seat for $50, and a stroller for $25.) Rather than seeing it as a one-time waste of money, look at it this way: Knowing your family has a couple pieces of necessary baby equipment will make it easier and maybe even more likely that you’ll be able to repeat this trip and visit again super soon. Because it’s going to be fine! You can do this! And you will. And afterwards you’ll be all, “AM WONDER WOMAN. I CAN DO ANYTHING, EVEN IF A FEW PEOPLE ON THAT SECOND LEG OF OUR RETURN FLIGHT HOME THINK OTHERWISE BECAUSE THE BABY CRIED THE WHOLE TIME. BIG FREAKING WHOOP, YOU GUYS.”

About the author

Amalah

http://www.amalah.com
Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. She is the author of the Advice Smackdown and Bounce Back. You can follow Amy's daily mothering adventures at Amalah. Also, it's pronounced AIM-ah-lah.

If there is a question you would like answered on the Advice Smackdown, please submit it to amyadvice@gmail.com.

Amy also documented her second pregnancy (with Ezra) in our wildly popular Weekly Pregnancy Calendar, Zero to Forty.

Amy is mother to rising first-grader Noah, preschooler Ezra, and toddler Ike.


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41 Responses to “Outnumbered at the Airport”

  1. Olivia Jul 27 at 10:01 am Reply Reply

    Amy, thanks for pointing out that car seat accessory! I had only seen those uber expensive stroller things before. I definitely have to buy one before our next trip.

  2. Sally Jul 27 at 10:09 am Reply Reply

    You can also rent gear when you get to your location. We just googled “rent baby gear” and got an extensive list of places that would even DELIVER gear and ASSEMBLE full sized cribs. I’ve only flown solo with one, but I highly recommend taking a stroller that fits both children, checking your extra gear (most airlines allow children to check one item for free), gate check the stroller and have a bag full of tricks to entertain your toddler.

  3. Zinna Jul 27 at 10:37 am Reply Reply

    Depending on what city/town you’re flying into, there’s a franchise called Travelbabees that rent out travel equipment. Very reliable and affordable.

    If you really want to take your carseats with you (which we’ve done too) and since you’re traveling alone with both boys, I would suggest checking both carseats (in carseat cases if you prefer), take an umbrella stroller for the older boy and carry your baby in a sling/ergo/bjorn. Take one carry-on filled with essentials: food/snacks, coloring books, small dvd player if you have one, books, and your essentials. You can check the stroller at the gate and it’ll be waiting for you when you land.

    We’ve flown a lot with our boys and I’ve found that a preschooler is harder than an infant. Between boobs and naps, the infant was a snap. Keeping the toddler occupied was more challenging.

    Good luck!

  4. Brooke Jul 27 at 10:39 am Reply Reply

    You can check the other car seat. If I were her, I would follow all the advice Amy offered above, but check the car seat in with the rest of the luggage at curb-side check in (maybe hubby can help with this as you manage both kids? hopefully he can drop you off)

  5. susan Jul 27 at 11:05 am Reply Reply

    not sure if this applies here, but maybe. a few years ago i had to take an adult client with cognitive impairments to the airport and i was given a special pass to accompany him through security and down to the gate (and his aunt was able to meet him at the gate on the other end). perhaps the airline will make a special accommodation for you so your husband can assist? it IS in their interests that you and your kids reach the gate safely and sanely.

  6. Stefanie Jul 27 at 11:39 am Reply Reply

    We have used the Traveling Toddler accessory numerous times. It is awesome. Random people in the airport are always coming up to me and telling me how awesome it is. Amy’s advice here is spot-on, but I will add one bit. Sky cap. Sky cap is your very best friend. It is worth $5 or whatever fee plus tip they have going on to be able to be dropped at the door (thus avoiding the schlepping through the parking garage) and have no checked luggage to drag through the airport with you. Have your husband get your bags settled with Sky cap while you get the car seat strapped to your bag and the infant strapped to you. Arrive at the security line looking saintly and tired, and the TSA might sneak you into the first class line so you don’t have to wait as long. Also, in all the times I’ve traveled solo with children, I’ve always had people offer help. TSA agents, random strangers, you name it. I would also advise against packing a ton of toys for the toddler. My daughter has never played with anything we brought her save for some stickers and post-it notes, even when I made a special trip to the store to get new previously unseen toys. As far as the infant is concerned, I wouldn’t worry about that. My daughter was so easy on planes until she hit 12 months. Before that, between the white noise and the snuggles, all she did was sleep.

  7. Kim Jul 27 at 11:44 am Reply Reply

    Borrow, borrow, borrow. Chances are your folks know other folks with grandchildren or young children, and they can hook into their networks. Also, Freecycle will let you ask to borrow stuff.

    OTOH, if your folks have the room to store the bigger items, it will be handy not to have to worry about them the next time.

  8. Sarah Jul 27 at 12:04 pm Reply Reply

    I’m pretty sure that all airlines allow carseats to check for free… Same with approved-models of strollers. (Mainly umbrella, or very small folding type strollers). And they will do a gate-check for the umbrella stroller, if you go that route. There is also the CARES: Child Aviation Restraint System that is more like a harness than a car-seat for the older child. This would mean that once at the destination you would need some sort of booster for your oldest (assuming where you are going has booster laws as well).

  9. Jen K. Jul 27 at 12:08 pm Reply Reply

    I’ve flown with my two boys (ages 3 and 1) — the older one has special needs and is a runner, so I need to keep him strapped down. We bought a Go Go Kidz wheelie thing, which may be the expensive product Amy references. I love it, and it is so worth the money. You may be able to find a cheap one on Craigs List. My DH pulls up the to curb, and we curbside check the 1-year-old’s seat and our suitcases (I’ve never been charged for checking car seats). I put the little on on my back in an Ergo, strap the older one’s car seat to the GGK, grab a diaper bag with toys, etc., and venture to security. On our way home last time, I got a gate pass for my mom to accompany me . I just went to the ticket counter and asked for one. I was prepared to play the special needs card, but they didn’t blink when they saw two kids and me. She just had to show her ID at security like everyone else.
    Make sure you have your kid liquids separated and easily accessible in your diaper bag. You may need to declare them at security and pull them out. My son wears crocs, which makes the whole shoe removal experience much easier, and I do the same (who wants to bend over to tie shoes when traveling with two kids). Make sure you are not wearing metal that you will have to remove (Black strech pants and a t-shirt are my clothes of choice).

  10. Jess F Jul 27 at 12:20 pm Reply Reply

    First you read my mind with the sleep regression response and now you read my mind with infant air travel re: car seats and all the crap you have to schlep through an airport. Dear Amy, when did you become psychic? I love you and your commenters. Thanks, everyone!

  11. Rachael Jul 27 at 12:23 pm Reply Reply

    Is there no double stroller in play here for the OP? I have only flown with one, but having the big Cadillac Graco Quattro Tour Delux was a lifesaver. I snapped the carseat in, shoved the diaper bag and random stuff in the basket, and was still able to wheel along a carryon suitcase while pushing that sucker. Yes it was heavy and bulky, but flying with a baby = bulk and inconvenience no matter what.

    I would say to get a double stroller. Have husband help you get it through security (I had to do my single BY MYSELF and the TSA were so ridiculously nice and polite, it was awesome. I know that this is total luck though. However, most people tend to be sympathetic when they see you alone with a baby and traveling…) and bring the infant seat too. Strap baby in infant seat, wrangle toddler as needed in other seat. Strap toddler’s convertible seat (also check out the Cosco Scenera for a cheap, airplane-friendly seat! $35 at Walmart) to carryon (or shove it under the stroller somehow). Push the whole caravan o’ stuff to the gate, check the stroller & baby seat, enlist an attendent or Nice Person to help wrangle a child if need be.

    I just really appreciated being able to have my hands and person free if I needed to. I know everyone hates on big travel systems, but holy crap they do make things cushy and convenient at times.

  12. Jenn Jul 27 at 12:23 pm Reply Reply

    If I were in your situation I would not be ashamed to ask one of the people at the gate desk for help boarding. They can relay that request to a stewardess or whoever. I can’t imagine making it down the plane aisle with all that stuff plus two little ones. I’m sure someone will be willing to help. Good luck!

  13. Stephanie Jul 27 at 12:24 pm Reply Reply

    I’m pregnant with my second child, so I can’t really offer advice on flying solo with two children. However, I have flown solo with my daughter at various points – three months, six months, 17 months… It’s a pain in the butt. My suggestion – check everything you can. I have flown several airlines and I’ve never been charged to check a car seat or stroller. They’re not supposed to count toward the baggage fee. The Toddler Car Seat Accessory is great, but I’ve never used it without my husband with me, so I’m a bit terrified about that moment during security when my child can run away, and I’m powerless to stop her. And yes, I’ve always insisted that my husband help me get as far as I can before going through security. It helps immensely because there’s just SO much stuff!

  14. Sharon Jul 27 at 12:24 pm Reply Reply

    Just wanted to throw in another plug for Travelbabees.com – we used them when we had to travel to Fort Worth, TX for a funeral when my son was 4 months old. They were a dream to deal with and had everything waiting for us at the hotel – in fact, the hotel van came to the airport with the car seat and carrier already installed. The pack n play, a playmat and a bathtub were all waiting for us in the room. I was surprised at how reasonable the rates were. If you can’t find a loaner, definitely check these folks out.

  15. Katie Jul 27 at 1:01 pm Reply Reply

    Like a couple other previous posters said–it’s worth having your husband at least ask for a gate pass. Any humane agent seeing you’re situation should give you one. If possible, see if whoever is picking you up at the airport could get one also? You would still have to manage the connection, but it would cut down on stress.

    In terms of security–I’ve done it solo with two, and it sucks. If your husband can’t come through, I think the key is to keep everyone restrained until the last possible minute. ie–get your shoes off, get your liquids out, put the diaper bag and suitcase on the belt, undo the baby carrier and put it on the belt, and finally, unbuckle your little guy when all you have left to put on the belt is the carseat. A word about baby food and water for formula (if you’re using either): technically, yes, you should be allowed to bring it all through. In practice, it is a massive pain. I’d recommend buying water at a little kiosk after security. As far as baby food–as long as the containers are under 3oz (earth’s best makes some) they can be a part of your standard quart sized baggie of liquids, and you don’t have to go through any special rigamarole. Otherwise, you either have to open the food (TSA doesn’t care that that it will start to spoil) or undergo a full patdown. Which is extrafun with two kids in tow. Sorry…just reread and realized that baby will only be 5 months at the time of the trip :) Future reference, I guess.

  16. Ellen Jul 27 at 1:02 pm Reply Reply

    Last time I flew (with my husband) and our two kids, they wouldn’t let us sit both kids in the same row.  My husband and our older son (in his car seat) had to sit in one row and the baby and I had to sit in the row behind them.  Something about no more than one kid per row?  Not sure if this would apply if you are travelling alone, but it might be worth calling ahead of time to find out :)  We had no idea until we got on the plane.

  17. Jen Jul 27 at 1:10 pm Reply Reply

    I havent traveled in the US but in Europe children under 2 dont get a baggage allowance but you do get the stroller on the plane for free. Normally it goes in the hold but you can hang on to it right up until you get to the door of the plane. Most of the time it is waiting for you at the door again when you get off. I normally keep them in the stroller right up to the last minute and strap my smallest on to me for getting on and off the plane.

    My one tip is to pack a couple of canvas grocery bags in the carry-on luggage. you are limited to how many bags you can take on the plane but not to how many you can take off. I use these to throw and books, sippy cups, sweaters, toys, wipes or whatever that has been taken out of the main bag during the flight, in to. It is much easier to throw things in these than try to repack them in the confined space of the plane.

    One other thing is, Don’t be afraid to ask for help! On one flight I took on my own with the kids there was one gentleman carrying my backpack, another collecting the stroller and his wife holding the hand of my 6 year old while I carried off my sleeping baby.

    Of course there is the breast feeding trick for takeoff and landing, it stops the little ones ears from popping.

  18. obabe Jul 27 at 1:40 pm Reply Reply

    wear the baby AND bring a stroller that will fit both. dont be afraid to ask for help. DVD player and tons of fun snacks. no matter how bad it gets, just remember, the flight will end at some point :-)

  19. Kate Jul 27 at 1:44 pm Reply Reply

    The first time I flew solo with my then-16 month old son, I did not follow any of Amy’s advice and was pretty much a mess (basically, I had WAY too much stuff to carry). Anyway, as we were waiting to board our connecting flight, I saw a mom deplane, without a husband or other adult, with FOUR CHILDREN. Four. One older child walking, two in a double stroller and a baby in a carrier on her back. She wasn’t even screaming. or in cardiac arrest. If she can do it, you can (not sure about me, but you can definitely do it). Good luck!

  20. Kierstie Jul 27 at 4:17 pm Reply Reply

    When I was flying with our two kids this past fall (2 y.o. and an infant) my husband procured a pass to go through security with us – it depends on the airline, but many of them will let you do this if the threat level is not too high.  You should check on this as it would help for at least the first leg of the trip.  And then fine someone that can go through with you when you are coming back too. 

  21. kirsten Jul 27 at 4:37 pm Reply Reply

    Most airports will allow a gate pass, so some one can go through security and up to the gate with you and the kids. Call the airport and check. Having another person to navigate security will be huge. You just have to ask the check in desk for one on the day of when you are checking your luggage.
    I also use the CARES seat belts on plane, so much easier than lugging a carseat. on and off a plane. and then you can use your stroller up to the gate, and most airlines I have used do not charge a fee for the checked carseat. Good luck!

  22. meagan Jul 27 at 4:49 pm Reply Reply

    I took the EXACT trip for the same reason a few years ago. The life-saver in the airport was our sit-and-stand stroller and a baby carrier. The 3 year old got on the back of the sit-and-stand, all of our stuff (including his car seat) went in the front of it, and then the little brother wrapped close to me in a carrier. It was actually really easy to load and push.

    And if you’re curious, and need to travel with triplets or twins, we stacked all 3 of our triplets’ Britax seats on top of each other in the same sit-and-stand recently, with our carry-ons on top. We looked ridiculous and they had to walk with me through the airport, but no one had to carry 3 carseats, which was awesome!

  23. Bekki Jul 27 at 4:52 pm Reply Reply

    I flew, by myself, with my 2 year old twins last Christmas. This is doable, I promise.
    Two words: CARES harness. Lifesaver for traveling. That solves your hiking through the airport problem. We check our carseats at the luggage counter, and just use the harnesses for on-board. Works great!
    Then, all you need is the stroller for the kids, and a backpack/diaper bag full of stuff. I wearing the baby sounds like a good idea BUT you’ll have to take it off and put it through the x-ray machine, which is kind of a pain.
    The other option is a lot of airlines will issue a special card to a “helper” to get you to the gate. It’s not a boarding pass, but they can get through the TSA lane and be an extra set of hands. I haven’t done this myself, but a few friends have.

  24. Ree Jul 27 at 5:03 pm Reply Reply

    I’ve flown with one kid and with two kids under three years old by myself, in the U.S. and internationally, and will be doing so again next week.

    When I flew with a 10 month old and a 2.5 year old, here is what worked best for me.

    1) An in-line double stroller. I get really overheated standing in long lines wearing the baby. With long security lines, it is really a relief to be able to put the baby down for a little bit. My preferred stroller was an Uppa Baby G-lite, a really lightweight double stroller that can fold with one hand. I checked it at the gate. *Now that kids are older, am not bring a double stroller next week, FYI

    2) A car seat for the baby. He was used to sleeping in it and I needed hands free to take the toddler to the bathroom on the plane and feed myself and feed her. I just balanced the seat upside down on the stroller sunshade and used the LATCH strap to tie it on.

    3) The CARES restraint for the toddler and a folding, packable booster seat that was in carry-on luggage. Overkill, but I didn’t want to arrive without a booster seat if our luggage was lost.

    4) iPod touch and baby headphones for toddler to watch cartoons while waiting in customs/security lines. Lifesaver!!!

    5) Lots and lots of snacks. The kind of stuff they are not allowed to eat at home but just gets calories in them when everything else seems strange.

    6) Toys that I didn’t mind never seeing again — e.g., we had some mega blocks that were picked up cheap at a garage sale and disappeared somewhere on the plane floor.

    7) Lots of ziplocs for trash, messes, dirty cups and straws, etc.

    The person who posted about the extra cloth bags — I did the same thing and it’s an excellent tip. I organized toys, food, etc. into separate bags that I could pull out and distribute.

    Wish I had brought — more changes of clothes. We were overheated on the plane and the kids were too hot and got dehydrated. I had nothing light for them to wear. It was the middle of winter.

  25. Julie Jul 27 at 6:36 pm Reply Reply

    Personally, I would definitely try to wrangle buy/borrow/rent carseat at the destination, because I can’t imagine trying to hau one through security, and sending it as checked luggage I’d be having nightmares of it getting lost and being stuck at the airport without a carseat. But that’s just me – I’ve had luggage show up a day after me often enough that I try to make sure EVERYTHING I absoultely have to have is with me.

  26. Pogita Jul 27 at 8:06 pm Reply Reply

    I have only traveled with one. But honestly after 5 trips, I have finally learned. Check EVERYTHING. I bring my purse and a very small diaper bag and that is it. That way I can just pay attention to the little guy … 

  27. Keely Jul 27 at 9:44 pm Reply Reply

    I just flew alone with my 8 month old and 3 year old. I say get a light stroller (you have to check anything over 20lbs) for the toddler and wear the baby. I’d check both car seats and not mess with them on the plane. My 3 year old was fine in his seat. In the carseat he tends to kick the person in front of us. Then you don’t have to mess with anything but the stroller through security. I’ve flown on southwest and American and neither of them charge for carseats or strollers. I think the less stuff you have to mess with in the airport and between planes, the easier. Also, sometimes the gate agent will let someone through security to help you. Have whoever drops you off bring their id and ask. That was a huge help. Good luck!

  28. annie Jul 27 at 11:28 pm Reply Reply

    I just did this exact same thing with my kids– exact same ages. I was terrified, but it worked out just fine. So many great suggestions here that I won’t include details about our trip. But here’s one tip…I gave my 3 year old a backpack (a small one of mine) as carryon for himself. And I made it just a wee bit on the heavy side for a kid his size. He was proud to be wearing a real grown-up backpack, and it slowed him down a bit. Whatever plan you find, good luck! YOU CAN DO IT!!

  29. SarahA Jul 28 at 10:12 am Reply Reply

    Just FYI, if you have 2 kids with you, your husband can get a pass to get through security and help you to the gate. Boarding and the connection is another story but at least you have a little help in the beginning.

    I would check the baby seat and wear the infant. I always wear my baby in airports. Much easier. Also, maybe a leash for the big kid? I know a lot of people hate them, but if it will keep him safe and let him run off his energy so he’ll sleep on the plane….

  30. Julie Jul 28 at 12:16 pm Reply Reply

    I wore the baby in a bjorn and didn’t have to take him off to go through security, since there wasn’t any metal on the carrier. I think every airport is different in how they enforce the rules. There’s usually a security lane for families, too. Don’t worry about what other people are thinking, take your time and don’t feel rushed. Kids sense our anxiety. You’ll be fine! If the baby uses a pacifier, get a clip to attach it to the shirt. You don’t want to be picking that up off the plane’s floor.

  31. Megan Jul 28 at 1:56 pm Reply Reply

    I flown with my chunk of a baby/kid several times last year (alone as well), including 4 international flights on military planes. I realize that I’m only talking about one child, which is NOT two children and therefore much much easier, BUT I would hate to think of anyone being surprised while traveling with babies. At the suggestion of this very website/blog I bought the generic strappy thing…and it did not work with my luggage. While I can see the benefit entirely (and would have reaped said benefit if I had sturdier luggage), it just did not work with my rolling carry-on. I was able to get it onto my bag, but only if my husband/random men in the security line tightened it for me. Also, once on the bag, my carseat (an Evenflo Triumph) did not fit down the aisle of the plane. I’m having flashback panic right now just thinking about it. I ended up with a Gogokidz which is expensive but has worked out to be much easier for me to deal with. What I might suggest is this: check the toddler carseat and get a Cares for the three year old and then bring a stroller that you can clip the infant seat into. Then, pack your ergo or whatever in your carry on (or just look like a crazy person and wear it empty, my method of choice). I think you have all of your bases covered if you do it this way because you can wear the baby and strap the toddler in the stroller if you have to, you can put the baby in the stroller for potty breaks, you can harness both of them in on the plane (which is safer and more likely to induce sleeeeeeeep) and it will also keep everybody else the heck out of your row, affording you some breathing room (even if you end up holding the little one the whole time). Best of luck and Amy is right…getting on the plane is the hard part, everything else is just killing time.

  32. Cathy Jul 28 at 3:22 pm Reply Reply

    So much good advice…I’ve done it with two, about these ages, solo. I checked the infant seat.
    Biggest things I have to add: I did have someone come with me to help me check in (my hubby was at the destination). Little known fact, you can get someone a pass to come through security with you and assist you. My dad came all the way through and waited with me until boarding. 
    I wore my daughter in a Bjorn, and I used the GoGo baby thing (so worth the money, and I’m sure I’ll be able to sell it down the road) for my son and his seat. 
    I also want to point out that people are very kind to a mother travelling solo. Stewardesses, passengers, everyone helped out. They let me cut in line, put the car seat in the seat for me, took care of my carry-on (which was all toys and food). The grandma sitting next to me even held my daughter for the majority of my flight. I expected people to be frustrated and annoyed, but really,people were helpful and kind. 

  33. Brooke Jul 29 at 10:05 am Reply Reply

    I wanted to add another shout out for the CARES harness! I have been putting my two-yr old in that since she was 20 months and it works like a dream. BUT ONLY IF you get your destination family to get a carseat of their own. Which is an extremely reasonable thing to request – don’t be shy! You can even offer to pay for it, if they object – Craig’s List is available everywhere. It is worth it, many times over.

    So, when I travel with my two (2 1/2 and 6 months) I bring a stroller and use it for my older girl – leave her car seat in the home car. Use the CARES harness when she’s in her seat on the plane. Then, wear my younger baby, and check her car seat. No car seats while going through the airport, fast mobility for connections. Good luck!!!

  34. Michele Jul 29 at 10:24 am Reply Reply

    Not much to add to the OPs…everyone has great advice. I just flew with 11 month old twins. We had both carseats, a side-by-side stroller, and my hubby and I. Yes, felt like a sherpa, but we gate checked all of the equipment and kept the girls on our laps.

    Two things to clarify from what OPs have said- the rules for children are only one LAP child per row. Also, in terms of bringing a stroller, check your airlines- a bunch of airlines just put a 21 lb restriction on gate checked strollers. Anything bigger must be checked at the counter. My stroller is really light (MacLaren Twin Techno), but I would have had to check it on a bunch of other airlines.

  35. Angela Jul 29 at 11:23 am Reply Reply

    if going for purchasing a carseat (and you don’t have issues with the evil W) I have to share the seats we got! We have twins, and I was so stressed about the cost of upgrading from their infant seats. But we found the Cosco – Scenera 5-Point Convertible Car Seat at Walmart for only 39$ each! And they have excellent reviews. They’ve worked perfectly for us, and the price was awesome.

    Good luck on your trip!

  36. J Jul 30 at 1:23 am Reply Reply

    I flew recently with my 6 month old and nearly 3 year old. My husband helped me get everything to the ticket counter where I checked both car seats and 2 suitcases. I went through security solo with a single stroller for the toddler, wore the baby and had a backpack and diaper bag. I gate checked the stroller. My toddler does fine in the seat but for safety, I’m thinking about the CARES restraint for our next flight (in 2 weeks!).

    Security rules have changed and even if the carrier that you use to wear your child doesn’t have metal, you either have to remove the child or go through the full body scanner. I chose to remove the baby from the carrier.

    For the plane? Entertainment appropriate to the kid (movies totally occupy my toddler), snacks, lots of diapers and a few changes of clothes. I nurse the baby on take off and landing and encourage the toddler to drink from his sippy cup.

    When we landed, I had no help at the other end (we were driving to meet family) and thankfully, the airport had all the rental cars on site and didn’t have to take the shuttle bus. A fabulous family who was on my flight, rented a car from the same place and wouldn’t take no for an answer, rented a cart for me and pushed it over to my car. While installed the car seats, the toddler “drove” the car and the baby hung out in the stroller. When we got back to the airport for the return trip, I requested the sky cap as soon as I got out of the rental car and it was a breeze schlepping everything into the airport.

    Strangers are awesome and so helpful but don’t count on needing it. My personal airport philosophy is that I don’t carry/bring anything that I can’t manage by myself. Check the TSA’s website for current rules and print any that you feel really strongly about (i.e. bringing breast milk through or rules regarding the full body scanner vs. pat down). Check your airlines rules regarding checked bags/strollers/car seats.

    Above all…try to have fun!

  37. annabelvita Aug 01 at 8:42 am Reply Reply

    Would being able to carry a car seat on your back help? Here’s one http://www.amazon.com/SafeFit-Car-Seat-Travel-Tote/dp/B001DF7LGW (not a recommendation, have never used one, but has links to other ones underneath it).

    Lots of help here: http://www.flyingwithchildren.blogspot.com/

  38. Amy Aug 02 at 12:49 pm Reply Reply

    My best advice isn’t about navigating the airport but the planning. I highly recommend going to a site like http://www.flightstats.com to see the on-time / delay stats on the flight you are taking. It can give you a heads up on what you can expect. Planes take the same routes everyday, hitting the same cities and same snags. On domestic flights the same plane can be used for 5 or more flights a day and a problem on an earlier flight can domino and make your flight late / delayed.
    All of this reminded me that I didn’t check our upcoming flights. Sigh, the earlier one is ok but the late flight home not so much, its on-time is only 62 percent with an average delay of 40 minutes. I guess I’ll pack extra snacks and an extra DVD for the 3 yr old.
    Best of Luck, you can do it!!!!

  39. mamasport3 Aug 07 at 3:51 pm Reply Reply

    Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I have found the airline staff to be extremely helpful.

  40. Susan Aug 08 at 4:43 pm Reply Reply

    We just flew DEN-LAX-LIH with a 2.5 yo and a 7.5 mo, so I feel ya (I had husband and grandparents with us, but they were no help when the TSA agents in LIH sent me through security first with both kids and then kept the other three adults for additional scanning and patting down – certainly an unexpected nightmare!).

    Here’s what I would do:
    1. Buy the Toddler Traveling Accessory, but MAKE SURE your suitcase wheels can support the weight of the stuff in the case, the toddler carseat, and the toddler. The wheels on ours bowed out scarily once our 30 pounder was astride his Cosco Scenera. It survived, but just barely. DH claims it wouldn’t fit down the aisle on the DEN-LAX leg, but I had no trouble on a Hawaiian Airlines interisland hop, which is a smaller plane… My son thought riding in his carseat like that was the funnest thing that ever happened to him.

    2. Ask your family to buy the Cosco Scenera for $40 from Walmart for the infant to ride in upon arrival. It’s good for 5-40 lbs and will fit rear-facing (or order it yourself online to arrive at their house ahead of time). If they’re not familiar with installing carseats, ask them to take it to their local fire station to ensure it’s installed correctly. We have two of these for traveling and they are lightweight but safe (though they don’t fit RF on planes very well).

    3. Give the 5 yo a backpack with all his toys/snacks in it so you just have to carry a small bag with just a change of clothes, 2 diapers and a pack of wipes for the baby (everything else will be in your wheelie suitcase).

    4. Bring a few $5 Starbucks gift cards to give to people who either a) help you in the airport or on the plane or b) act like your children might just start acting like Satan’s spawn… or offer to buy them an in-flight cocktail.

    On most of our flights I was able to get an empty seat for the baby without paying (it helps if you’re traveling at an off-peak time, say Wednesday for HawaiiI), so go ahead and bring the infant seat if you think you might be able to score that – it is certainly safer for them to be strapped in and will give you a free hand to tend to the older one. Of course, then you’ll need someone to come to the gate with you unless you truly are SuperMom…

    Finally, we were able to check a carseat, a single stroller, and a Kelty child carrier backpack all for free on United.

    We had a fun trip, but I’m not planning to fly with kids again until they’re out of diapers and can carry their own stuff!

  41. Autumn Sep 27 at 5:49 pm Reply Reply

    I know this is an older post, but just FYI:  

    Some TSA lines will let you wear your baby in the carrier through the metal detector.  I had my kid in the ergo, and I would have but my cross body strapped purse was under it (security!) so I had to take it off anyways.  But it could be one less thing to deal with.  

    And most major airports have a family security line.  Many tend to be the special needs security line, so the agents are a little more used to the not average traveler.  The one in MSP lets families with kids under 2 jump the line right up to where they check your ID.  

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