Holidays

Simplifying the Holidays

‘Tis the season.

I’ll admit it. I struggle with this time of year. Striking a balance has never been easy for me. My list of things that I tell myself I “have” to do contains more things than can possibly be accomplished in 25 days, even if I gave up the rest of my life. Yet I feel enormously guilty for all of the things that get left by the wayside.

Then there is the gift giving. I don’t know if it is just me, but the presents were so much easier to buy when the children were younger. They were less expensive and came in HUGE boxes that filled up underneath the tree, and the entire room, without breaking the bank. Now that the kids are older? The size of the present has decreased proportionally with the price tag of said present.

Why can’t Apple package their products in GIGANTIC-assed boxes? Why? An iTouch isn’t a stocking stuffer. I want it to come in a box the size that the Little Tykes Cozy Coupe comes in. For the uninitiated, that would be approximately a 4ft x 4ft x 4ft box. Is that too much to ask? Is it Apple?

I have been known to go overboard on Christmas presents in the past. Okay, a lot overboard. And if I am going to be all Dr Phil on myself for minute I can trace this back to my own childhood, one in which I really did not get presents past the age of 5 or 6. I never had that excited Christmas morning that my friends had. From my friends I would hear about all the fabulous gifts they got. And it wasn’t necessarily that they got tons of gifts, or really expensive things that stuck with me, it was more the fact that someone cared enough to think about them and get them a gift. That was what I was envious about. Of course then I went and married someone who didn’t believe in gift giving either.

Anyway, enough delving into my tortured crazy inner workings. All of that was just to say that while I can logically trace the roots of my over zealous Christmasness (is so a word), I seem to be unable to stop myself. I always want more. More cookies! More baking! More presents! More holiday music! More candles! More decorations! More photos with Santa! MORE! MORE!! MORE!!! We will squeeze every last drop of Christmas spirit out of this holiday, even if it kills us. Or more specifically, turns me into a shrill harpy, ticking items of an agenda like a drill sergeant, while wearing holiday-themed clothing. (I kid about that last part.)

This year, however, I have to reign it in.

I don’t want to stop the things that we all love, which really are the low-key ones where we spend time together. I want to stop the frenzy that surrounds it all. And I have to cut back on the gift-giving, but at this point I am unsure how to cut back drastically and not have anyone be disappointed. Aside from money issue, I think that having less presents will make them appreciate the ones they do get more. I hope that it will cut down on the amount of unused things that just clutter up the house after the holidays.

Does anyone else have experience doing something similar? I am curious how you went about simplifying the season, not just spending less money, but all aspects of the holiday season.

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Sylvia

13 years ago

Last year was the first year I HAD to scale back on gifts for my then 7 and 4 year old. It wasn’t because of any conscious decision it was simply because of NO income. My husband had lost his job (construction) and I was a stay at home mom with no income to speak of. It was horrible that we couldn’t even afford ANY gifts for our kids when they were used to getting most everything on their lists. I dreaded Christmas morning, I felt like a failure. We had to choose between gifts and living expenses. Easy choice… Read more »

Ally

My kids are young, but we decided that since they have a lot of grandparents and other relatives we don’t buy them gifts. Instead we take a trip. Most of the time it’s around Christmas and sometimes it’s after. Our kids love going to places and I hope in the future they will look back and appreciate this more than a few toys.

Julie

Well, I have an answer to the “the iPod box is too small” issue – nested presents! A handful of times in my childhood I gave or recieved the box that you unwrapped to find another box inside, that opened to find another box, until after a few layers you get to the actual present. It’s a great way to amuse yourself, and either amuse or frustrate the kids, depending on their personality. And if you really want to keep them guessing, you do a couple of big boxes. One of which contains an iPod! The other of which contains… Read more »

Liz

I have a similar history with Christmas as yours. Because I felt so left out of all the fun and hoopla surrounding the day, I tend to overdo it with my own kid. This year I’m really trying to focus more on handmade gifts and gifts of experience. There’s still going to be way too much stuff under the tree, but most of it will be books, art materials, things I’ve made for him or games we can play as a family. I also learned the hard way to fill the advent calendar with edible treats only. A Hot Wheels… Read more »

cagey

THANK YOU for sharing that you go overboard sometimes. In the past, I have gone overboard, too. And then, I read all these posts from bloggers who hold back on “spoiling” their kids and limit the gifts to 3 and one of them has to be a book. Gulp. The problem is, it is just too much FUN watching little kids tear into gifts. I try to resist going overboard. I do. This year, I have done better and have really tried to do a Miss Cleo on gifts. I look at a potential gift and genuinely try to gauge… Read more »

Katy

I have a huge family, so three years ago, when money got tight, we switched to Secret Santa for everyone but the kids, and one year the limit was like $15, so everyone did handmade things which was really fun and entertaining (not everyone is so crafty, but that made it more fun) For the kids, each one gets to pick one favorite holiday activity and then we may add an additional one or two as needed (like if one is really short or we as a family are inspired) And we buy just two or three presents for the… Read more »

Maggie

Not to sound trite, but your holidays will be simplified soon enough once your kids all get older. Enjoy it now. Once no one else wants to help with the decorating, baking, etc. it gets very hard to be motivated.

Nikki

We decided not to exchange grown-up gifts with my husbands side of the family this year. Instead, we spent that time/money on a local family we ‘adopted.’ Our children got a good lesson about giving and taking care of others. They questioned why we were buying what seem like necessities to us (cleaning supplies, canned goods, underwear/socks). But they also had so much fun shopping for the children of the family. A new tradition has been started for our family.

sarah

I have felt guilty over Xmas/birthday presents for a couple of years. My husband strictly enforces a $50 limit on kids presents due to our financial situation – which now that they are ranging from 4-9yrs, makes things extremely difficult. The first thing on every birthday/xmas wish list is a Wii, or an Ipod/Ipad, DS or some other electronic device or game that costs way over $50. Although we have a massively large extended family, they have a $20 limit on their presents and the kids will end up with 3 presents per kid in total. One from us, one… Read more »

Melani

My daughter was born on 12/22 so that’s what ends up causing me to go overboard. Two of my sisters have birthdays in December and I remember my mom just grabbing a present under the tree and handing it to them saying Happy Birthday. They hated it and so now I’m completely obsessive about making her birthday separate and special and exactly as expensive as her brother’s was in April. Only problem? He wants EVERYTHING and she asks for some tiny item and that’s it. I’ve been in the process of lowering the amount I spend at Christmas and really… Read more »

Kathie

I was reading a blog somewhere…not sure where it was…and the mother said that her kids get 4 presents. It went like this, “Want It”, “Need It”, “Wear It”, “Read It”. I really liked that idea and as our 6 month old baby gets older my husband and I have decided to adopt this mantra. Because at the end of the day…it’s about the season and not about the gifts.

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Isabel: I LOVE that.

Lucinda

Did I go overboard on presents this year? Probably. With that said, they each have about 5-6 gifts from us and a stocking filled with stuff. I don’t know how that compares to other families and I don’t really care.

If I’m having fun, I do it–baking, charity, looking at lights, shopping (mostly online!), etc. If we get stressed, we stop. We don’t worry too much about specific traditions although some have developed over the year. I want my kids to remember that joyfully giving is at the center of all this because we were joyfully given a gift first.

Kris

We’ve always had the rule of 3 presents……. that’s all Jesus got! And I totally agree, it was more exciting with the BIG BOXES.

Jen

I am in a similar situation to you, Chris… I totally try hard not to overcompensate for the cr*ppy christmas’s I had as a child (the worst one of which was the Christmas my parents split up. Yes, ON christmas day. So, my mum became totally anti-christmas, and we ‘did things’ instead of having a family Christmas. Also she was a single mom on minimum wage bringing up two kids in London, England… expensive! Coming from a totally dysfunctional family who never speak to each other, my kids don’t get deluged in presents at Christmas, as no one sees each… Read more »

Katie

Every year as we look under the tree, my mother and I tell each other that NEXT year we are NOT going to go overboard – and then NEXT year comes, and Voila! It is Deju Vu, standing next to each other talking about how we aren’t going overboard. All I can say in my defense is that I am utterly insane. There is no defense grandma. She is just an over-indulger to everything her grandbabies want – because now that none of her kids are living at home, she can AFFORD to have over-indulgent Christmas’s. Sigh.

Cheryl

I will second what Kathy said…we do four presents (all of us, my husband and I included)–something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read. I saw this on someone else’s blog a few years ago and it seemed like a perfect solution. You can be creative…a few years ago my “something to wear” was a diamond ring!! This year my daughter’s “something to wear” is a messenger/computer bag.

Monica

My husband and I have always just set a dollar amount that we will spend on each child. So as they got older (our oldest is now 22) and their christmas list was more expensive, their number of gifts just decreased. So a child may have received only one or two gifts to another childs 6 or 7 gifts. They all understand we have a dollar limit and never complain (well mostly never). Setting a dollar limit every year has kept us from going over budget. Andwhen the kids were young the jolly fat man only was allowed to give… Read more »

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