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Mother's Day Truths: If your husband says your Mother's Day gift is a chance to meet Ryan Gosling, oh he better not be kidding.

Mother’s Day Truths

By Kelcey & Wendi

Mother’s Day. A good idea in theory, but the day is never quite the way you dream it will be, is it? Still, burnt toast, droopy flowers and sloppy kisses are what makes up motherhood. At least to us.  Here are some more universal truths about our special day.

1. When you tell your family you want alone time for Mother’s Day, they won’t believe you.

2. If your husband says your Mother’s Day gift is a chance to meet Ryan Gosling, oh he better not be kidding.

 Mother's Day Truths: If your husband says your Mother's Day gift is a chance to meet Ryan Gosling, oh he better not be kidding.

3. Breakfast in bed apparently does not include your family cleaning it up.

4. Your child will make sure you wear that hand-painted macaroni shell necklace for a week straight.

5. Your children will clean out your wallet so they can buy you a surprise Mother’s Day cake that they will eat.

6. Your kids will forget that it’s Mother’s Day by 9:23 AM and immediately start whining and fighting.

7. The person who says Mother’s Day is just a made-up commercial holiday never pushed out a 9lb baby with the head the size of a honeydew melon.

8. Breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day would be a lot better if your kids knew how to mix cocktails.

Mother's Day Truths: Breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day would be a lot better if your kids knew how to mix cocktails.

9. By the time your kids leave for college, you will own 27 “World’s Greatest Mom” mugs.

10. Some of those sweet homemade Mother’s Day cards look incredibly similar to ransom notes.

11. An early morning Mother’s Day photo with cheek wrinkles and smeared mascara will make its way on Facebook.

12. When you say, “I want jewelry,” your husband and children will hear “gift certificate to where grandma shops.”

13. On Mother’s Day, there’s always one child who asks “When is it Kid’s Day?” Try to not scream, “EVERY DAMN DAY.”

14. Remember. If your family sends you to a spa on Mother’s Day, they fully expect you to come back home.

Mother's Day Truths: Remember. If your family sends you to a spa on Mother’s Day, they fully expect you to come back home.

15. Mother’s Day is your day, but trust us… nobody wants to hear your birth story.

16. Handmade Mother’s Day cards are the best especially when you look skinny in your kid’s drawing.

17. If a mom says she just wants her kids’ love for Mother’s Day, she’s lying. Buy her a bracelet.

Kelcey & Wendi
About the Author

Kelcey & Wendi

This post was jointly written by Kelcey Kintner & Wendi Aarons.

Kelcey Kintner, a Florida-based mother of five, writes the humor blog,

This post was jointly written by Kelcey Kintner & Wendi Aarons.

Kelcey Kintner, a Florida-based mother of five, writes the humor blog, The Mama Bird Diaries. Wendi Aarons is an award-winning humor writer and blogger who lives in Austin, Texas with her husband and two sons. You can usually find her at Wendi Aarons. Kelcey & Wendi are also co-founders of the cheeky advice site, The Mouthy Housewives. They are also individual contributors to Alpha Mom.

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Comments

  • Ally

    My husband and I started the tradition a few years ago that Mother’s Day (and Father’s Day) turns into a weekend thing. Saturday is just for me (or him). I can go out with friends, sleep, relax, basically do whatever I want. Sunday I celebrate with my family. We usually go to the zoo or the botanical gardens. I get to relax and enjoy the kids and let them celebrate me in a way they want to.

    • Kelcey

      Love that!

    • C Tucker

      Great idea!