Six years ago, when I was the mom of a kindergartner, the principal announced one morning during a school-wide assembly that the fifth grade boys would be watching a special movie that day. All of the parents around me tittered and one dad even muttered, “Watch out, fifth grade girls.” I then realized that she was talking about the “facts of life” video and distinctly remember feeling relieved that we still had many more years before my son saw it. Many more years until we had to have “The Talk” with him.

Well, guess who’s now in the fifth grade?

When Sam came home a few months ago with a note telling us that the school would soon show the kids the maturation video (and giving us the chance to opt out), it immediately propelled my husband and me into action because we realized that Sam knew nothing about sex. Nothing. Or at least nothing that he’d learned from us.

You see, we’d taken the parental tactic of just following his lead on what he wanted to know about sex and when. We hadn’t intentionally kept him in the dark, but besides the usual “what are boys and girls’ private parts called?” discussion, he’d never once asked us anything about reproduction. And it certainly wasn’t a subject I was eager to bring up on my own accord. “Hey, Sam! Once you finish that mac ‘n cheese, let me tell you all about the wonders of sperm! FYI, they’re super fast swimmers!”

Anyway, because we wanted him to hear about reproduction from us before he heard about it from a generic school video, we finally had The Sex Talk with him. A long talk. A couple of talks, in fact. And throughout the process, we all learned a few things about the best way to handle discussing sex at this age and stage.

So today I’m passing along a few tips and tricks for talking to your preteen about sex. Even if they’ve known about the birds and bees since preschool.

My preteen still hasn’t asked about sex, so can I just wait a little while longer to have The Talk? Like, when he’s 50?

Simply put, “no.” It’s always better that they hear it from you first and hear it correctly and at this age, you can’t wait any longer. Quite a few kids in the fourth or fifth grade already know about sex, but by sixth grade, almost all of them know the 411. And therefore the odds of your child hearing wrong or disturbing information about sex are high because kids definitely talk about it. A lot. For example, Audrey, the Town Crier of our neighborhood, once memorably ran up to a group of 10 nine-year-old boys playing whiffle ball and spilled the beans on how babies are made. In graphic detail. Her mom was fielding angry phone calls about the incident for weeks afterwards. And those boys’ parents were left scrambling to give their boys the right information as soon as they could.

But chances are, if you have a girl, you’ve already had the puberty talk, so this is just the next step. If you have a boy, you may have had the puberty talk already, too, but if not, start with that then continue on to The Big Sex Talk.

Why do I still have to have The Talk at home if our school is showing them a video about it?

Because the sex talk definitely isn’t something that should be outsourced. But also because the video, which varies by the school and should be previewed by you if the staff allows it, probably won’t explain things as thoroughly or sensitively as you can. For example, the video my son Sam saw showed a graphic about erections, then said that boys get them “many times a day, whenever they’re excited!” And if that scant explanation doesn’t scare a kid into never acting happy again, I don’t know what will.

OK, but why do I still have to have The Talk with my kid if I have informational sex books for him to read?

There’s nothing wrong with books and there are many good ones, but they should be used as a supplement to a parent’s talk, not as a substitution. This is just something that needs a human touch. Regarding the books, some experts advise just leaving them around the house in the hopes that a child will pick them up when you’re not looking, but other experts (whom I agree with) instead suggest picking out a couple of good ones and handing them to your child in their room so they realize how important they are. You don’t have to make them read the books, but they’ll know they can refer to them whenever they want.

Should my husband have The Talk with our son and I have The Talk with our daughter? What should I do if I’m a single mom with a son?

This is obviously a personal decision based on your comfort level and what you expect your child’s comfort level to be. Most parents I know go with the “if you share the same equipment, you have the sex talk” rule. I would have been fine talking to my son about sex, but I knew he’d feel more comfortable hearing it from his father. (I know I would have been mortified if my dad had talked about sex with me.)

If you’re a single mom with a son, or a single dad with a daughter, and/or don’t want to have The Talk yourself, find a trusted relative or close friend of the same gender to do it for you. But let your child know they can always ask you questions, too.

So, I just have to have The Talk once, then I’m dunzo?

Nice try. But no. As every adult knows, sex (and love) are very involved, complex subjects and there’s no way they can be covered in one simple conversation. Start with the basics, of course, but be sure to let your child know that they can always come to you with any other issues that may come up.

That said, we all know that kids keep a lot to themselves, so it’s also a good idea to regularly check in with them when they have their guard down, like maybe when you’re both in the car. Ask them if any questions have come up since your last talk and you’ll probably be surprised by what they say. Like when a friend of mine’s 9-year-old daughter recently asked what a “blow job” was because the kids at school had been laughing about the word. (I know, OMG, but it’s happening.)

Our family is very open about sex, is it okay if our child is, too?

Well, remember what I said about Audrey the Town Crier spilling the beans to 10 shocked boys in our neighborhood? Learning about sex obviously doesn’t always happen in a bubble, but most parents still want some control over what their kid hears, when they hear it and from who. Meaning, once you have The Talk with your child, let them know to keep it to themselves. Which, if they’re like most kids, shouldn’t be too hard. After my husband had his talk with Sam, he told him not to tell anyone else, especially his younger brother. Sam’s response? “Don’t worry. I don’t want to talk about it to ANYONE EVER EVER EVER.”

Besides the basic biology of sex, is there anything else we need to cover?

Well, yes. But not right away. There’s a whole slew of other things that go way beyond “when a mommy and daddy love each other very much” and the basic workings of intercourse. Things like romantic love, for example. Your preteen needs to know that love is not the same as sexual involvement.

Per the book “From Diapers to Dating” when dealing with preteens who may be starting to “date” someone soon, “parents need to talk about abstinence…preteen children need to know what you think about teens’ having sexual intercourse and the behaviors you expect of them.” I know that may seem a little overboard when you’re dealing with an 11 or 12-year-old, but it’s a talk (or two) you should be prepared to give well before that train leaves the station.

It’s also important to remember that telling your child about abstinence doesn’t mean you don’t also have to cover things like contraception, AIDS and STDs, which many experts believe all kids should be informed of by age 12 or the start of middle school. Heady stuff, to be sure, but it’s better they learn it from you than from someone with wrong information.

Other topics that you should try to cover in your continuing talks with your preteen can include sexual orientation, your religious views on sex and various ethical, moral and legal issues that arise. “Should kids wait until marriage?” “How do I know if I’m gay?” “What’s wrong with dating an older boy?” The questions and issues regarding sex are varied and sometimes difficult, and while they’re not always easy to answer, it’s important that you listen to your child and try your best to advise them.

So what’s the most important take-away about having The Talk?

It’s exactly what I just said above: there’s not just one Talk, but many Talks. If you try to be as open, honest and straight forward with your child as possible, they’ll grow up with a healthy attitude about sex. And that’s a good thing for everyone.

Especially Audrey The Town Crier.

If you’ve already had The Talk with your child, what’s your best piece of advice? 

If you’re anything like me, puberty wasn’t a lot fun. There were pimples, training bras, and constant fights with the parents. But guess what might be even worse than that long-ago horror show? Watching your kid go through it.

If you have a son in the 9-12 year old age range (approximately), chances are you won’t actually see the first sign that he’s starting puberty. Rather, you’ll smell it. Or at least that’s how we knew our 11-year-old’s body was starting to change and that we needed to buy him Baby’s First Deodorant before the entire family passed out from his new ripe aroma. Whew.

If you have a girl of this age, you’ve probably noticed other changes besides armpit odor that signal the start of puberty, most likely breast development (aka “breast buds”) or increased emotions (aka “door slams”). Some girls may have already started menstruation at this age, so maybe you’ve even had the mother/daughter period talk. (Or you’ve quietly slid the free Kotex pamphlet under her bedroom door before running off to ceramics class like my mother did to me back in the enlightened 1980’s.) (And don’t even get me started on the day she taught me how to use a tampon—via my panicked phone call from Camp Kormoranta.)

This new phase of development may seem fairly natural and normal to you, but it’s probably the exact opposite to your child. Puberty can be embarrassing, awkward and scary. Just ask any girl who’s out bra shopping with her mom when a cute guy walks by. Or any boy who suddenly has an erection in school and doesn’t know what the heck’s going on. (And yes, that’s going to happen.)

For that reason, any puberty advice or information you give your child now is only going to help their comfort level during this transitional time. I mean, I know I could have used some insight when I was a confused 11-year-old reading the highlighted parts of my friend Kristi’s copy of Judy Blume’s “Forever.” (“How can you use a diaphragm for birth control!? Isn’t that your ribcage?! That makes no sense!”)

Here are our tips on how to have an honest and frank puberty discussion with your child.

Before we start, tell me, what exactly is puberty?

By definition puberty is “the period during which adolescents reach sexual maturity and become capable of reproduction.” Basically, it’s the process of physical changes that give them an adult body. That said, it’s also a word that’s kind of fun to say—puuuuuberty. Only don’t say it around a kid who’s actually experiencing puberty or they’ll probably, like, die from total mortification.

Sounds, um, fun! How long does puberty last?

Four to five years. Boys average three years and girls average four years. Of course, some kids are faster and some are slower.  Per the book From Diapers to Dating, it can be “as quick as 18 months and as long as eight years.” Uh-huh. Let’s all hope it’s not eight years.

Should I wait until I notice changes with my kid before I start The Puberty Talk?

It’s definitely a personal decision, however letting your kid know what body changes to expect in advance will make him/her less fearful when he/she starts to experience growing pains in her chest or begins to sprout hair where it’s never sprouted before.

And while it may feel awkward explaining to your son what a “nocturnal emission” is, getting that knowledge before he actually has one will help him not freak out. (And yes, he’s going to have one. It’s no coincidence that boys are encouraged to start doing their own laundry around this age.)

The same thought applies to girls and their periods. Even if you think your daughter is years away from getting hers, you still need to prepare her because it’s always a surprise. (And it’s always when you’re wearing white pants. Why is that?) Plus, girls are starting menstruation earlier than they did a generation ago. There are many, many books and resources that can help you explain it all. (And they’re all much better than my free Kotex pamphlet, thank you very much.)

What other exciting physical changes are coming?

Per Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid They’d Ask), a girl’s growth spurt will start shortly after her breasts begin to bud, then her hips will widen and she’ll gain more fat. (It might be a good idea to tell her that this weight gain is because of biology, not because she’s eating too many chips.) By the time she begins to menstruate, she’ll be approaching her adult height. This can make girls feel weird, but let them know the boys are on their way to catching up.

Because, as you may remember, boys start their growth spurt about two years later than girls. It begins with their feet and continues upwards, including the growth of their scrotum and then their penis. (And yes, even at this age, they’re concerned about penis size, so be ready for that question.) Also note that boys’ muscles and bones don’t always grow at the same rate, which explains the famous adolescent clumsiness.

Is it true that puberty turns kids into nasty, emotional trainwrecks?

Hmmmm….why don’t you go to the mall and ask a mother helping her daughter try on dresses that question? She’ll be happy to tell you right after she stops cowering in the corner.

The fact is that due to hormones and an increased need for independence during puberty, most kids aren’t their usual sweet selves to their parents at this age. Or maybe they are one day and not the next. Or one hour and not the next. Or they’re nice to their friends and not to their family. We recently had a taste of this unpredictability at our house when our upset 11-year-old ran into his room and slammed the door. Ten minutes later, he was snuggled up to me on the couch like nothing had happened. I’m still not sure what to make of it.

But while it can be very hard to deal with your child during this time, it’s still important to to inform them that you know these emotions are all part of their growing up. Wait for a calm moment to tell them that you’ll try your best to understand their moods and you won’t take them personally. They will then roll their eyes at you and say “Moooooom!” but hopefully a bit of your message will get through and they’ll have some comfort and reassurance.

This seems like a rather huge topic, so let’s cut to the chase: What’s the most important thing I can tell my kid about puberty?

That he or she is normal. There are a lot of changes happening to their bodies, minds and emotions right now and that can make them feel very vulnerable and strange. Let your child know that they can talk to you about anything that’s happening to them, whether it’s physical or friend-related. Or (Eek!) boyfriend or girlfriend-related.

Basically, keep communication open. Offer to buy them puberty-related books (which they probably won’t want, but will read when nobody’s looking). Ask your pediatrician if there are any concerns. And if you’re a single mother and uncomfortable with some of the boy subjects, see if an uncle or other male relative can be of assistance. Talking about penis size with your tween isn’t as fun as you’d think.

Remember, puberty is just another stage. Sure, it’s not the cutest stage a child will go through—just look at any of my family vacation photos from the Grand Canyon in the early 80′s that show me scowling and my mom ready to push me off the cliff—but a stage nonetheless. Which means it’ll pass. Your child is transitioning into an adult and with a lot of honesty and communication, you’ll both be in a good place when he or she finally gets there. Deodorant and all.

So, if you’ve already talked to your kid(s) about puberty and their changing bodies what have you learned? We want to know.

Stay tuned for: “How to Have The Sex Talk” and a review of books on puberty and sex education.

One of biggest challenges parents face is taking care of a sick child. Specifically, a child with a cough, a cold or both. It’s tough. In fact, the last time my sons were sick, our house was filled with non-stop crying and whining for days. Not from them. From me.

Because not only is it difficult to take care of an exhausted, fussy kid, it’s difficult to figure out exactly how to take care of them. Are OTC cough and cold medicines effective? Are cough and cold medicine safe? Just what can you do about the endless coughing? And do natural cures even work? It’s hard to know which advice is best.

That’s why we’ve put together the following cheat sheet of cough and cold medicine information for parents wondering just how to treat their sick child. Hopefully it’s advice that will not only help your kids feel better, but will help you feel better, too.

What Are Children’s Cough And Cold Medicines?

Cough medicines are meant to either suppress coughs and/or make coughs more productive. (“Dry coughs” supposedly need suppressing whereas “productive coughs,” in which phlegm is coughed up, should be treated with an expectorant to loosen the phlegm and make it easier to cough up from the airways.) Most cough medicines usually have the active ingredients Dextromethorphan HBr as the cough suppressant and/or Guaifenesin as theexpectorant.  (Children’s Mucinex Cold, Cough and Sore Throat has both.) Dextromethorpan is also referred to and sometimes labeled as “DXM” or “DM” and is considered controversial due not only to people using it recreationally to get high, but also because around 10% of all children may have underlying conditions that will cause them to have a bad reaction to it. (The previous claim is made by Dr. Zak Zarbock, also the founder of all-natural Zarbee’s, but it’s a credible and dangerous enough claim that we think it’s worth paying attention to and taking seriously.)

I noticed that a lot of children’s cold medicines seems to cover both cough and cold and many say that they’re “multi-symptom.” Ingredients in that type of medicine can include, but are not limited to, a combination of fever reducer (acetaminophen), antihistamine (Chlorpheniramine maleate) and nasal decongestant (phenylephrine HCI). Also, some medicines say they’re for “nighttime,” but there doesn’t appear to be much difference in those ingredients versus those of the regular version. (As far as I could tell when reading the very confusing string of five-syllable words.)

Brands that make children’s cough and cold medicine include Mucinex, Robitussin, Dimetap, Advil, Sudafed PE, Pediacare and Delsym. There are also a few natural cough and cold medicine brands like Hyland’s and Zarbees All Natural Children’s Cough Syrup, which uses buckwheat and honey for cough suppression and Zarbee’s nighttime formula, which uses a dark honey blend and melatonin for cough suppression and sleep.

What Are the Recommended Ages for Children’s Cough Syrup and Cold Medicine?

Due to safety concerns voiced by the FDA a few years ago, drug manufacturers do not recommend giving cough and cold medicine to children younger than the age of four. (And never to those under age two.) Most makers have even voluntarily put a warning on the box saying not to be used for those under four. (However, homeopathic Hyland’s gives dosage information for ages two and up and “all-natural” Zarbee’s gives dosage information for ages twelve months and up for their non-nighttime cough syrup.)

That said, it should also be noted that the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) believes the recommended age of use should be six years old, saying that “over-the-counter cough and cold medicines do not work for children younger than 6 years and in some cases may pose a health risk.” It should also be noted that this stringency appears to be the trend in other countries, such as Canada whose government health agency warned parents against giving cold and cough medicine to children under the age of six due to concerns about their efficacy as well as reports of serious adverse side effects including “convulsions, increased heart rate, decreased consciousness, abnormal heart rhythms and hallucinations.”

What Are The Health Risks?

The main concern about the use of children’s cough and cold medicine is the danger of overdosing or over-medicating via giving your child two over-the-counter medications with the same active ingredient. For example, the acetaminophen you give your child for her fever may also be present in the multi-symptom cold medicine you also give her for her cough. It’s very important to carefully read the directions and the list of ingredients on each medication so you don’t double up on a drug and cause an overdose.

It’s also crucial to only use medicine that treats the symptoms your child has. Meaning, don’t give your child multi-symptom cold medicine when they only have a sore throat. It’s better to give too little medicine than too much when dealing with cold and cough and to always watch out for any side effects.

Do Children’s Cough and Cold Medicines Even Work?

In a word, No. The AAP believes they’re ineffective for kids ages six and under. And while I didn’t find any specific information about their effectiveness in older kids, many pediatricians, including my own, still aren’t big advocates and don’t advise using them at all.

That said, some parents I know still give their kids above the age of 10 a dose of cough medicine to help them get a good night’s sleep. They feel that any risk at that age is outweighed by the benefit of rest. I guess I can understand this way of thinking, but it’s not something I feel comfortable doing with my own kids.

How Else Should a Cold or Cough Be Treated?

Simply put: with time. The majority of doctors say that a cold or cough will just go away by itself. Per WebMD: “No home remedies or cold medicines will make a cold go away faster. A cold usually runs its course in 7 to 10 days.” Of course, that’s not always easy to hear when you’re lying awake listening to your kid cough.

Luckily, there are many resources out there detailing the things you can do to make your child more comfortable while they’re sick (including this good one at WebMD), but the perennial advice seems to include fluids, rest, Tylenol for fever (if age appropriate), a nasal aspirator and/or saline solution for stuffy noses and honey for coughing (if age appropriate– no honey before age 1). Chicken soup has even been proven effective at reducing symptoms.

All that said, the most important thing a parent can do when their child has a cough or cold is to not overreact. Kids get sick a lot, so be sure to help them maintain good sleep, nutrition and hygiene habits to keep the germs away.

And if that doesn’t work, maybe reach for the chicken soup before you reach for the cold and cough medicines.

Last week, when my 11-year-old son Sam asked if he could sign up for an Instagram account, I was a bit surprised. He’s been a big fan of video games for years, but this was the first time he seemed interested in social media. I figured he wanted to try out the popular photo sharing service because he’d seen me use it for the past two years. But that wasn’t the case at all.

“All of my friends are on it,” he said. “So I want to be on it, too.” I guess I should have known. He’s reached the age where that’s the number one reason for doing anything.

But after a day or so of thinking about it, my husband and I decided it was okay. Compared to Facebook or Twitter, Instagram seems fairly harmless. From my experience, it’s usually just pictures of people’s fingernails, food, cats or kids and there isn’t much commenting. And although my friend Maria has had some minor issues with her middle-schooler using Instagram (which was detailed in this Wall Street Journal article by my Twitter pal Katie Rosman), I figured we were at least a year away from any bad tween behavior. I figured wrong, but that I’ll get to in a minute.

Sam opened his Instagram account on his iTouch, using his Hotmail address that we let him have to email with his grandfather, and he immediately started “following” people. Mostly his classmates, but also a lot of professional athletes. I imagine it’s pretty thrilling for a kid to suddenly feel like he’s interacting with his sports heroes. Then he posted a couple of pictures of our cats and eagerly waited for people to “Like” them. It was kind of cute.

However. However, I then took a good look at the accounts of the classmates he was following and it was a total eye-opener. Sam’s bio just said he was in the 5^th grade at xx xx Elementary, which I made him immediately erase because it was too personal, but his classmates’ bios actually detailed their dating statuses. Kids who I remember peeing their pants in Kindergarten now describe themselves online as “Taken!!” or “Single and Wants to Mingel!” (sic) and most of their photos are selfies taken in their bedrooms or dance poses where they have one leg lifted to their heads (seriously, enough with that pose). It was shocking because I had absolutely no idea that 10 and 11 year-old kids were already “dating.” Sam still hides his head when he sees people kiss on TV.

I was also taken aback by the comments the girls were leaving on their male classmates’ pictures. Things like, “Your so hott!” and “I lurve you!” and “Txt me pls!” (Hopefully the bad spelling isn’t indicative of the quality of their education.) Even more disturbing, I found an Instagram account called “xxx_is_ugly,” with “xxx” being the name of one of Sam’s 5^th grade classmates. Whoever owns the account has posted pictures of this girl with fairly nasty comments, presumably without her consent. Mean girl internet stuff at this age? Really? Maybe I’m just behind the 8-ball.

I then went through Sam’s list of followers and found quite a few suspicious accounts that I blocked. Nothing overtly porn-ish, although that’s easily found on Instagram, but the people who have 5,000 followers and have yet to post a single picture. Then I made Sam change his account to “private,” to help control with whom he interacted. (Which he didn’t like because his goal, as is that of his classmates, is to get as many followers as possible. Our 9^th grade neighbor has over 18,000 followers and all she posts are pictures of herself and her hairbrush.)

Within a couple of days, Sam grew tired of posting cat pictures and moved onto funny visuals he found on iFunny.com. Here’s one of his favorites:

The immediate Likes he got for this stuff was addicting and he was soon posting up to 10 “funnies” a day. He constantly checked his iTouch. I guess I can understand his excitement because it’s like telling a joke in school and having the popular kids laugh, but it was quickly becoming a problem. Finally, one day, after the third time he kept us waiting so he could check Instagram, we took his iTouch away for 24 hours. On the one hand, I was pleased he was interacting with his classmates in a new way (well, mostly), but on the other hand, the 11-year-old brain might not be ready for the constant feedback and gratification that Instagram gives.

After that, my husband and I weren’t sure if we should let him keep the account. But then two things happened that made the decision for us. First, I read this article by Rebecca Levey on Mashable that said it was illegal for kids under the age of 13 to have an Instagram account due to the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA). Say what? I admit to being completely clueless about this because it was the first time our child had even ventured into social networking and so many of his classmates have accounts. For that oversight I feel a little foolish.

The second thing that happened was Sam was locked out of his Instagram account this past weekend and told to go to their desktop site and upload a picture of his government-issued ID to prove he’s over the age of 13. Apparently, this happened to quite a few users and is due to Facebook’s (the new owner of Instagram) privacy policy changes. When Sam first opened his account, he was truthful about his birthdate and was therefore flagged as illegal. (His reaction: “Darn it! I should have said I was born in 1992!”)

I admit it crossed my mind to just upload my own ID and let him keep his account, but I didn’t. Rules are rules and it’s a good thing for him to learn. (And it saved me from having to be the meanie who keeps taking his iTouch away. ) His Instagram account is now inactive and he knows he has to wait the two years until he’s a more mature 13 to try it again.

As for me, from now on I’ll know to do my due diligence whenever my kids want to start using any social networking app. I’ll also utilize some of the tools the website GetNetWise.org has for parents as well as their online use contract for kids to sign. Sure, a contract may seem a little silly, but that plus a social media discussion will reinforce to the kids the seriousness of the situation. I’m also going to insist they tell me their passwords (we already keep the iTunes password secret from them so they have to ask us before they download anything on their iTouches) so I can periodically check what they’re doing. Our Instagram experience was definitely a good lesson on both the good and bad I can expect in the coming years when my kids are online.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go check my Instagram account. I posted a cute picture of me with my hairbrush this morning and I want to see how many Likes it has.

But I admit that I was wrong. Way wrong.

In fact, it took only two minutes of Jack playing with his Sphero for me to decide that my husband had hit a home run with this purchase. Simply put, Sphero is awesome and a great gift idea for both younger and older kids.

Per the maker, “Sphero is a completely new type of gaming system. It’s the world’s first robotic ball that you control with a tilt, touch, or swing from your smartphone or tablet. You can drive Sphero, play tabletop and multiplayer games, hold Sphero in your hand to use it as a controller for on-screen gameplay, learn basic programming, and even explore augmented reality.”

More simply put, download one of the 20+ Sphero apps to a smartphone or tablet (iOS or Android), then use that to transform and control the Sphero into different remote-control toys. It’s a smart robot on the inside and it has a waterproof, opaque, high-impact polycarbonate shell on the outside. (You can supposedly put it in your pool, but we’ve been a little nervous to try that. Somebody else do it first and let me know how it turned out, pretty please.)

The Sphero zooms around the house at a pretty fast clip and it glows in thousands of colors that the user can determine. There are literally thousands of things you can do with it (their website is great about detailing them), including using the “augmented reality app” where your robot can come to life as a beaver named Sharky.  The Sharky the Beaver app lets you take a virtual 3-dimensional character for a walk around your house and feed it cupcakes. Jack got a big kick out of this.

Another way Jack plays with Sphero is he sets objects up around the room in an obstacle course, then, via the Sphero app on his iTouch, steers his Sphero through them. He also downloaded the Sphero Pet app to play with our 7-month-old kitten, Lola. Users choose either a dog or cat interface, then drive the Sphero in joystick or tilt mode and it’ll change colors, spin wildly, shake, flip, and move in any direction you want for the pet’s enjoyment. Lola went nutso for it and chased it for hours. (And she seemed to like it a lot better than our Furby.) Due to its hard shell, the Sphero is supposedly bite and drool proof, so it seems like a good choice for dog owners.

Another cool thing about Sphero is that it was engineered so developers can easily create apps for it. (A Full API and Mobile SDK for iOS and Android invites developers to dive right in.) Older and more tech-savvy kids can start with Sphero MacroLab to design their own fun. (I’m strongly encouraging my computer-loving son Sam to get into this.) Your family can also play Sphero ColorGrab, a multiplayer board game, set up an at-home golf course with Sphero Golf and kids can sketch with Sphero Draw N’ Drive.

There’s also the DJ Sphero app where users can “spin like a club DJ” by loading music tracks from their iPad to the Sphero. They can then select between decks, cross-fade between tracks and speed up or slow down the music by spinning the Sphero ball. We haven’t tried this yet, but it sounds really cool.

There are so many ways to use Sphero that I can’t possibly discuss them all here. Luckily, their website is very good about detailing what you can do with it and it seems to be a good resource for all Sphero owners. Of course, the downside to this toy is the $120-130 price tag, which I think is pretty steep for a kid’s gift. However, most or all of the apps are free, which helps offset the cost. And, the Sphero is really a gaming system not just a single-use toy. It’s so unique and inventive that I think kids will find a ton of ways to play with it.

Like Jack, for example, who is currently laughing his head off while he zooms his Sphero right at my foot.

Ouch.

(You can buy the Sphero at our affiliates Target, Amazon & Apple).

This post is sponsored by Disney’s Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two the video game.

The walls of my bedroom in my parents’ house are covered in Mickey Mouse wallpaper. The phone in my bedroom at my parents’ house is a classic Mickey Mouse telephone. There are framed posters of Mickey Mouse, plush toys of Mickey Mouse and even a few holiday ornaments of Mickey Mouse spread throughout the room. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the person who spends most of her time in there is a huge fan of good old Mickey.

And that person is my mother.

Less than two seconds after my sisters and I finally moved out of their house for good, my parents did what many parents do and reclaimed our bedrooms for themselves. My sister Lisa’s room became my dad’s office, my sister Amy’s room became the guest room and my old digs immediately became my mom’s sewing room. Lovingly decorated from top to bottom in the theme of great American icon, Mickey Mouse.

My parents hadn’t thought to mention this little transformation to me before I paid my first visit, so you can imagine the shock when I walked into my old room, expecting it to look the same way it always had. Instead I saw that I’d entered the M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E Club.

To my huge dismay, gone were the Wham! and Duran Duran posters that had made it my teenage sanctuary. The bed that I threw myself onto in frequent bouts of high school angst had been swapped for a fancy sewing machine. And my bulletin board that was covered in carefully chosen ironic postcards and buttons had been replaced with its polar opposite: a cheery red and white clock with Mickey Mouse pointing at the time with his giant gloved hands. It was like someone had flipped open the curtains on my gloomy teenage years and finally let the sun burst through.

Just what the heck was going on with my mom? After many whispered phone calls, my sisters and I finally determined the answer: she was nuts.

“Why did you put all of this Mickey Mouse stuff in here?” I asked her. “It just doesn’t make any sense. I mean, we’ve never even been to Disneyland.”

“Because I love Mickey. That’s why,” she answered. “Who doesn’t?”

Well, I couldn’t argue with that reasoning and neither could the rest of the family. We just had to accept her newfound interest in all things MM. So we started giving her cute Mickey items we thought she’d like for the room and learned to appreciate her mousey decorating. And when I took a job on the Disney Studio lot in Burbank, I made sure to send her all of the fun Mickey stuff I could find. She loved it.

A few years after the room remodel, we finally made it to Disneyland for the first time. We didn’t have any children and not many husbands yet, so that day it was just my sisters, me and my husband, all of us in our 20’s, and our one happy mom who’d just turned 50 but acted like she was the biggest kid of all. She was completely delighted to be there.

That day we followed her around the park doing everything there was to do at Disneyland. Twice. It was incredibly fun. And then, at the end of the day, when all of us but her were sprawled on a bench ready to go home, she told us there was one more thing we needed to do. “I’m not leaving here without getting my picture taken with Mickey,” she told us. “So let’s go find him!”

We did. And the picture we took that day still hangs on the wall in her Mickey room. Right where it belongs.

Photo source: Amanda Downing

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Yes, just when you thought it was safe to shop for the holidays, the toy sensation of 1998 is back. My family has had the pleasure of living with one of these little bastar—pets for the past few weeks and I have to say, it’s been a real challenge. Sort of like living with a nasty aunt who’s off her meds and only stops talking when you push her into a closet and lock the door and throw away the key because OMG SHE’S DRIVING YOU COMPLETELY CRAZY!!

Sorry. I might be a little tense from this review.

Anyway, my boys (ages 9 and 11) had never heard of Furbys before our white one arrived, so they were super excited to try it out. I put a couple of batteries into it and boom—Mr. Furby came alive with a vengeance. Much like a zombie does after dining on fresh brains, I imagine.

I will admit that the Furby is kind of cute at first. It’s LED eyes are very expressive and it opens and shuts them itself. And it has a cute little yellow mouth that also opens and shuts. Well, mostly opens because the Furby never, ever stops talking in “Furbish.” Furbish sounds like someone’s drunk and trying to speak Hawaiian. Like “Ah-may koh-koh!” and “Kah oo-type nah-bah!” All interspersed with high-pitched giggling and moaning.

But wait—it gets worse! Just when we couldn’t take any more of that insanity, one day the Furby closed its eyes and started chanting, “Changing, changing, changing” like some dude undergoing a demonic possession.  I was seriously two seconds away from calling a priest. Then it suddenly opened its eyes and came back to life as…a Valley Girl! Of course it did. We spent the next few days listening to it yell, “OMG!” “Whatever” and “Seriously?” before it’d suddenly drawl, “Shah, me sleep-ee,” and start snoring like a freight train. I felt like it was 1990 and I was back living in the Gamma Phi Beta house.
The kids and I were sincere in our efforts to have fun with our Furby and took the “How you treat the FURBY will shape FURBY’s personality” warning printed on the instructions very seriously. We petted it, talked to it, made direct eye contact and tickled its belly. We made it dance. We even tried our hardest to teach it words, but to no avail.

We also downloaded the Furby app on my iPhone so we could “feed” it various food with the swipe of a finger. Sweet food prompted a “Yum!” and a happy dance, hot sauce brought flames to its eyes and a dirty sock caused it to make an icky noise and send an image of vomit back to my phone. And that’s exactly what sealed the deal for my pre-teen boys—the Furby vomit. They spent hours making Furby send them vomit, sending the vomit back to him, then getting even grosser vomit in return. Isn’t that just adorable?

A couple of other things to note:

You can’t turn off the Furby.

My husband loathes the Furby and routinely hides it under couch cushions.

I also loathe the Furby and keep sitting on it when it’s hidden under the couch cushions, prompting it to start screaming, “NO-NOO DAH DOO-AY!” and scare the crap out of me.

Our 7-month old kitten Lola really, really loathes the Furby and wants to destroy it. A few more “What’s up, girlfriend?!?” and we might just let her.

Of course, it doesn’t matter what the parents or the cat thinks about the Furby. The most important question is: Do the boys like it? Well, when asked, they both just sort of shrugged and said, “Kinda. I guess. Maybe. I don’t know.” Then they ran off to play with something else. So for that reason, I’m going to give our Furby a vacation in the back of our closet for a while. With Lola out to get him, I think he’ll be much safer if he’s in there.

And so will we.

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(Interested in additional perspectives on Furby? Yep, check out this one by Ilana who has a three-year old and this Furby review by Amalah. They too lived with Furby for a couple of weeks.)

With the cold winter months quickly approaching, you’re no doubt looking for ways to keep your family busy when you’re all trapped in the house together. (By “trapped,” I of course mean “spending quality time.”) And what better way to entertain everyone than with a fun, challenging board game?

My two boys, Sam (11) and Jack (9) absolutely love playing games, so the three of us were very excited to test out a few and see what we liked the best. Please note that they beat me at every single one of these games, but I will not let my bitterness influence any of the following reviews because I am a mature person. (But couldn’t they have let me win at least one round of something? Is that too much to ask from your children?)

Here are the games we tried out:

MANCALA

Centuries old and played around the world, Mancala is a “count-and-capture” game designed for two players. There are many versions of it, but the one we played was called “The Game of Collecting Gemstones.”

Our Mancala was very simple in design; just a wood, foldable playing board with carved out holes to hold the “gemstones.” The object of the game is to move all of your gems out of your small holes and into your large pocket (or Mancala) before your opponent does. It’s deceptively simple because, as we discovered, it actually requires sharp counting, strategy and planning skills to win. Sam really liked this one. Ages 6 to Adult. Price $9-10.

The Good: Portable, great price ($9-10), challenging

The Bad: Only two players, kids who aren’t drawn to slow strategy games might be bored

APPLES TO APPLES JUNIOR

I’m always leery of anything touting itself as a “hilarious party game,” but we actually had a lot of fun playing this card game of comparisons. Players hold Red Apple Cards with words on them like “Unicorn” or “Ghosts,” then the judge (a position that alternates each turn) plays a Green Apple card with a one-word characteristic on it like “Chewy” or “Scary.” Players must then play the card they think is the best match and the judge determines who’s right.

The fun part is when the players try to convince the judge why their word works best. One of the best lines from our game was Jack telling me, “Swamps totally works with Relaxed because alligators are never stressed out because they do yoga!” Well, maybe you had to be there. Ages 9+. Price $18-22.

The Good: Verbal, fast action, high potential for humor and laughs, easy to play

The Bad: A little pricey at $18-22 considering it’s just stacks of cards.

BLOKUS

This “abstract strategy” board game has won every award in the book and I can see why. The kids and I were immediately engaged in the challenge of placing our colored, differently shaped pieces on the 400 squares of the board/grid so they touched at least one other piece, but only at the corners. The winner is the player who has the fewest pieces remaining.

Blokus develops logic and spatial perception because kids have to eye the board and figure out where their pieces will fit. However, they’re so wrapped up in doing so, they don’t notice how hard their little minds are working. Gotta love that. Ages 5+. Price is $16-$30 range.

The Good: Challenging, but fun. Easy to understand.

The Bad: A big pain to clean up if it’s knocked on the ground.

QWIRKLE

Another multi-award winner, Qwirkle is a game where players “Mix, Match, Score and Win.” Consisting of 108 wooden tiles, each with a brightly colored shape on it, players score points by building lines of tiles that share the common attribute of either color or shape. It’s sort of like Dominoes.

Both boys liked playing this, but didn’t love it because it’s pretty slow and repetitive. It takes a long time to finish, considering players have to get through 108 tiles with only 1-2 tiles played a turn. Also, someone has to keep score and write down points on paper, and that kind of complicated what should be a simple game. Not a favorite. Ages 6+. Price $17-34.

The Good: Tiles are kept in a drawstring pouch, so very portable and can be played on any flat surface. Easy to understand.

The Bad: Not very challenging, time consuming, must keep score on paper.

SPOT IT!

This is a fun, fast-paced matching game that the boys really loved playing. (And they keep asking me to play it again.) Players are given coaster-sized cards, each with illustrations of eight objects on them. They then try to spot a symbol that appears on both the changing center card and their own card. (The instructions also include five different variations on this basic game.) Spot It! requires visual perception and matching skills and can be played almost anywhere. It also comes in themed versions, like MLB and NHL, animals and Spanish. Ages 7-12. Price $12.

The Good: Fast, easy, great price, can be carried in your purse.

The Bad: Kids might constantly bug you to play it with them.

SKIPPITY

This is an extremely easy game to learn and to play. Similar to Checkers, players cover each square on the board with “skippers,” or little discs that come in five different colors. They then take turns making straight-line leaps with any disc over any other discs to capture the colors they need to make a complete set. The player with the most complete sets win.

The boys had fun playing this, but at ages 9 and 11, it was a little simplistic for them to really get into. Kids younger than they are would probably enjoy it more. Ages 5+. Price $20.

The Good: Easy, quick, colorful.

The Bad: Best for younger kids, flimsy and sort of cheaply made

SET

Sam and I were excited when we opened up Set, a “visual perception” card game that’s won over 25 best game awards. However, try as we might, we just couldn’t figure out how to play this game. Per the wordy directions, players start by putting 12 cards, each with a different visual shape, color, number or shading on it, on the table. They must then find a “Set” of three cards that are either different or the same. Sounds easy enough, but the directions then show a picture of a green diamond, a blue outlined diamond and a red outlined diamond and note, “All three cards have the same shape, different colors and the same number of symbols, but they are not all the same or all different in shading; two are outlined and one is not.” Huh? Instant headache.

But based on the awards given, I’m sure this game is worthwhile and we’ll definitely give it another shot. Wish us luck. Ages 10+. Price $13.

The Good: Portable, since it’s just a card deck. Award winning.

The Bad: Pricey for a stack of cards. Very hard to understand using the included directions.

If I had to pick one game as my family favorite, I’d have to go with Blokus. It’s one of those games that you know you’ll be better at each time you play it. But with all of these choices, you’re sure to find the perfect game to keep your family entertained this winter. Good luck and have fun!

Lastly, would love to hear what board games you enjoy playing with your family. Please share.

Photo source: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

Chances are if you have a kid, you also have a pet. And if you don’t have a pet, you probably have a kid begging you for one. Or at least that’s how it was at our house after our elderly cat Dickens passed away at the age of 20 last winter. My husband and I weren’t yet ready to adopt a new kitten, but our two boys definitely were and they repeatedly told us that if we got one, they’d take care of her themselves. Yep, the old “I’ll feed him every day, Mom!” promise that we’ve all heard at least a million times.

But because 8 and 10-year-old boys who want a kitten are pretty hard to resist, we agreed. And, after going through a somewhat arduous adoption process, I’m pleased to say that our family now includes the wonder cats Lola and Virgil. It’s been wonderful to watch the boys fall in love with these furfaces and make them part of our family.

That said, the past few months have definitely taught me a lot about kids, pets and responsibility. And how it actually is possible to make all of those elements work together so your family doesn’t go completely crazy. Here are a few things I’ve learned:

(Note: This is skewed toward cats and shelter adoption because that’s my experience, but hopefully these tips will work regarding other types of pets and adoptions, too.)

If Possible, Include Your Kids in the Adoption Process
It may seem easier to just bring home a pet you’ve picked out yourself, but I believe that a child feels more responsible for an animal when they’re included early on in the process. The boys and I scoured adoption websites, went to shelters and even drove to the homes of people who foster pets until we found the kittens we knew were right for us. The boys then saw how I had to fill out pages of paperwork and listen to advice from adoption counselors, which showed them that this wasn’t something to be taken lightly.

Empower Them With Information
Much like new mothers rely on baby care books, it’s helpful to have kids read all about their new type of pet. There are quite a few good books available, but I liked this one about cats and my friend Maria loves this one about dogs. My younger son Jack actually checked a few more animal care books out of his school library and now proudly tells us all the random facts he knows about cats. (Which hopefully means a future as a veterinarian and not as a hoarder.)

For the Pet’s Sake, Curtail The Enthusiasm
Once you bring your new friend home, it’s understandable that the kids will want to smother him with love. However, keep in mind that the animal has just gone through a big change and probably needs a little quiet time to adjust. (Especially if it’s still a kitten or puppy who need more sleep.) After we brought Lola home, we’d let the boys play with her for an hour or so, then we’d tell them to sit on their beds and read. Nine times out of ten, she’d crawl into their laps for a nap and they were beyond elated. Of course, it won’t be too long before the novelty wears off and you have to remind the kids to throw a ball for a puppy who’s dying to play with someone.

The Pet Sleeps in Switzerland
Or another neutral territory in your house so the kids don’t fight over who gets her in their room. But even if your children share a room, I recommend not letting the pet stay with them because it’s a huge distraction. Most pets are somewhat active at night and may disrupt the kids’ sleep with whimpering or running around. And the one thing I’ve learned as a parent is to never disrupt the kids’ sleep.

Take Them Along on Vet Visits
When possible, I had the boys accompany me to the vet’s office if it was for something routine. Their job was to hold the cat carrier and talk sweetly to the cats if they yowled. Then they’d watch as the doctor performed the exam and administered any vaccines that were needed. Again, this was something that I think really helped them feel like they were responsible for our pets and involved in their care and health. Plus if/when something serious does ever happen with our pets, they’ll maybe get some comfort in being familiar with the doctor and the office.

Assign Pet Duties, But Within Reason
Once kids are school-aged like mine, it’s reasonable to expect them to shoulder some pet care responsibility. However, keep in mind that, although they may want to handle something like the litter box or dog walking, they might not be ready just yet. Or, more practically, not home or awake when something needs to be done. Our boys are great about refilling water bowls and dry food bowls, but unfortunately I’m the only one awake at 6:00 a.m. to answer the loud demands for tuna. So definitely assign duties, but just be sure they’re age appropriate enough to ensure success.

But most important, of course, is to enjoy all of the love and affection a little pet brings into your home. Even that pet is currently chomping on your big toe like mine is right now. Ouch.

Photo source: Photodisc/ Thinkstock

When my son Sam was in the first grade, the kids in his class were really excited about the 2008 Presidential election. They constantly asked each other if their parents were voting for Obama or McCain and had a lot of good-natured fun talking about it. Then one day, a classmate’s dad joined them for lunch and Sam asked him who he was voting for. The dad answered, “McCain,” and when Sam told him that his parents were voting for Obama, the dad responded with, “Then your parents must like giving most of their money away to other people.”

Oh, no he di’int. (Did’int? Din’t? I can never get that right.)

At any rate, I was completely floored that a grown man would say something so rude to a 7-year-old kid. It really upset me. But it also made me realize that as responsible parents, we need to show our kids how to be respectful of people with different political views. Especially now, when America is just weeks away from the 2012 Presidential election and our kids are paying close attention to everything we’re saying about it. (Or, in some cases, yelling about it.)

I’m by no means a political expert, but I definitely feel that if we want the significance of the Presidential election to be understood by our kids, and we want them to grow up to be responsible voters, we need to talk to them about politics in a thoughtful, intelligent manner. Here are just a few ways I think we can do that:

1.  Be Respectful of the Office, Even If You Don’t Respect the Person In It

Kids naturally defer to authority. They’re taught to trust and honor those in power, like their principals and coaches. So when they see or hear something negative about the President of the United States (like the “Obama is a Traitor” flyers that someone hung all over my neighborhood or the “Bush Is A Punk Ass Chump” bumper stickers prevalent in Austin), it confuses them.  They don’t understand the issues and nuances that go into a grown-up’s opinion; they only notice the name-calling—something we repeatedly tell them not to do. So rather than saying a certain politician is “a witch” or  “an idiot,” maybe it’s better to say, “I don’t like how she does her job.”

2.  Don’t Make It Personal

A friend of mine was talking about her neighbor, who she doesn’t like, and said, in front of my kids, “He just put up a yard sign for Senator X, which just shows he’s a jerk who doesn’t care about the environment.” Ouch. She basically gave the kids the impression that only stupid people would support that candidate’s party and of course, that’s not true. Nothing’s ever that black and white. So while it might be hard to resist them, personal slights are neither helpful nor necessary when discussing politics.

3.  Base Your Arguments in Facts

I’m always surprised by the number of adults who make bold political statements and don’t back them up with any facts. (And many of them are famous media personalities.) It’s incredibly important to substantiate your opinions so your kids learn how to make a real argument and engage in real debate. If you say you oppose illegal immigration, explain your reasons why. After all, if your daughter came home from school and said she hated a classmate, wouldn’t you expect a better reason why from her than “Because?”

4. Remember That Politics Is Theater

As adults, we know that a lot of what we see and hear from politicians and pundits is nothing but posturing. There’s a lot of blustering and posing and making of false, inflammatory statements. But since kids aren’t as savvy as we are, it’s on us to explain why a candidate or one of his supporters said something last year that he’s completely denying saying this year. Kids know that they don’t get away with that sort of behavior, so it puzzles them when it’s done by adults. (It puzzles me, too.)

5. Encourage Kids to Form Their Own Opinions

I grew up with Republican parents who aren’t exactly thrilled that I’m a life-long Democrat. (I still get crap for voting for Dukakis.) But that said, they never once told me how I should think or vote when I was growing up. Instead, they encouraged me to learn as much as I could about politics and decide for myself where my allegiances lie. And that’s exactly how I hope to raise my own kids—with them knowing it’s okay to have thoughts, opinions and a world view that might not be the same as their parents’.

Although, be sure to check back with me on that in 2020 when Sam’s finally old enough to vote. I might be feeling a little differently then.

How are you talking to your kids about the upcoming election?