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Hi! I’m Not Alice, But Maybe You’ll Like This Anyway


Due to the fact that this week Alice’s eyes are dried up like bloodshot little cranberries, I — and by that I mean me, who occasionally goes by the name “Mrs. Kennedy” — am going to do my best to fill in for her today in Wonderland. Please keep in mind that the only newspaper […]


On anger, discipline, and the New York Times.


First and foremost in the news this week: parents plus wealth times typical city congestion equals another New York Times slam-dunk! In one of the non-newsiest articles ever to belch forth from the New York Times, we find out that on the Upper East Side, chaffeurs (excuse me–hired drivers) are dropping off well-off nursery school […]


All we need are buckets of mud and a dream. Who’s with me?


You might think this parenting-news gig is pretty sweet, but let me tell you, it’s a weekly exercise in horror. Want to know what my afternoon was like? Head over to Google News and search for the words “parents” or “child.” The 364,000 items that pop up are all one of the following permutations: Parents […]


Hey, fat-obsessed America!


Last week I dared to take the I-will-take-no-stance stance, as I composed a please-let-me-offend-no-one, after-all-both-sides-have-a-point post. I’ve since recovered from my bout with objectivity, and I’m ready to judge someone, anyone. Like fat kids! Those underage slobs. I… I can’t. I can’t even joke, when it comes to the children. Why did God make me […]


Sliding down the slippery slope


Normally I enjoy nothing more than a good, rousing bout of judging. I put on my oversized judgment cap– it’s fur-lined!– and I recline in my judging chair, which has this swivelly headrest so I can shake my head in disgust for hours without suffering from neck strain, and– wait, where was I? Judging! Right! […]


Fare thee well, 2006.


Well, it’s been another year. Didn’t it feel year-ish? As if we’ve come full circle? Call me crazy, but right now it feels like something old is ending, and something new is just about to begin. We all know what the end of the year means: it means that pundits everywhere are holding forth on […]

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