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Aug03

Elmo has recalls! Elmo has recalls!

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First, I think you should know that I spent two hours at the dentist yesterday, and my teeth have been ground into nubbins and my tiny tiny jaws don’t cotton to being pried open for hours–and now my face, well, it hurts. (Your face hurts? It’s killing us!, laughs the Internet. HA HAHA HA HA […]

Jul27

New Study Finds: Moms Who Read Studies More Likely To Go Insane

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An article came out this week that is so brilliant that it’s worth quoting at length. Like most science articles, it’s about a new study, and like so many studies, it’s one that blames mothers for more of the world’s ills. This most recent study (from Britain, which makes me feel a little better, but […]

Jul20

The Trouble With Harry

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Hello devoted Wonderland readers. It is I, Liz in Wonderland, a poor man’s Alice, back again while your beloved host takes another family vacation. That’s two vacations in one month, for those of you keeping track. Send hatemail to bradley.wonderland@gmail.com. (Not about me, about the vacationing.) (Sheesh.) Since I didn’t burn the place down last […]

Jul13

The only possible explanation.

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A mother and her son were booted off a plane after a flight attendant became upset when the 19-month-old kept saying “Bye, bye plane” as the aircraft prepared for liftoff. … “‘It’s called Baby Benadryl,’” Penland said the attendant told her, suggesting she give her child allergy medication to help him fall asleep fast. –Grounded! […]

Jun29

Pedophiles and salmonella! Whee!

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Breaking news this week: adorable chipmunks adopt an orphaned puppy, then build their new family a house out of taffy and peppermint sticks. The public is invited to stop by, gnaw on some candy windowsill, and get their faces licked clean by the puppy, who has giant, watery eyes and craps silver dollars. Silver dollars […]

Jun22

Why children should be muzzled, and other news.

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In the news this week! A Long Island couple might be going to jail. Why? Because their kids are too loud, silly. William and Rachel Poczatek have been charged with violating a noise code “usually reserved for ‘the shouting and crying of peddlers, hawkers, and vendors.’” In fact the noise was coming from their two […]

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